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I think there is more to it...

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Old 08-24-2006, 02:19 AM   #1
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lola11 HB User
I think there is more to it...

Ok, some of you may remember my posts about my BF working away in another country form 3 months at the end of last year and the problems we had with one of his female co-workers. I went to his leaving night then and she was all over him, i lost the plot, had a huge fight with him and our relationship almost ended. He said there was nothing going on and that i was paranoid even though it was plain as day that she was after him. He would come home for the weekend and she would call and be on the phone for like an hour, depsite that he would be flying back to work the next day. He stressed that they were friends and in the end, he stop working abroad and came home. Said he would never go away again knowing what it was doing to us. Fast Forward til now........things have been going well til last week, out of the blue he says his company want him to go back there. This co worker is now a senior manager and they had met again at a meeting a few weeks earlier....then all of a sudden he has to go back....I said i didnt want him to but i understadnd that maybe he couldnt say no. Anyway, he arrived there at the begginin gof this week, i couldnt get a hold of him to see if he had arrived safely, i dont know why but i knew in my gut he was with her so when i do get he says, yeah am in the pub with her. HE was with her in the pub all afternoon and to half past midnight that night, while am at home going out of my mind. He said that he was honest with me so i have to trust him. But what hurts more is that he knows that he and her being together makes me uncomfortable and had no regards for this when telling me they together!!! I dont know of this is platonic or not. So moving on he asks me togo over for the weekend and spend some time together, he said to come sat and stay for couple of days when we had originally said friday. He was saying he missed me somuch and loved me and wanted to spemd some quality time with me. SO when i told him i couldnt get a flight on sat so i ould just book the fridaynight flight he changed..said not to and could o not just get a flight on sat or sun as he was going out with her and other co workers. So obviosuly i am hurt. I asked what difference it made and he just said well am going out with my buddies soin other words i dont think you should come...I am devasted!! i think he maybe hiding something. his excuse is that he didint think it would be right after the last time and that he didnt want any confrontations and thought me coming the day after the would be a compromise!!But as far as i see it, he wanted tosee me but only on his terms and isnt obviously that keen afterall...

Sonow he coming home on sunday now anyway butb i think this is just to stop me going over on the friday...I am at lost, somethings not right and i cant put my finger on it...we been together 31/2 years and live together...what do you think?? be honest?

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Old 08-24-2006, 05:19 AM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 579
Baby_hands HB User
Re: I think there is more to it...

This doesnt sound too good...

It sounds like he could be doing the dirty.
Great beauty and virtue rarely dwell together.

Old 08-24-2006, 07:40 AM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Lagos, Nigeria
Posts: 176
minijumbofly HB User
Re: I think there is more to it...

Gosh, RED flags all over the places and the whole thing just stinks of deceit. All the signs are there that he is two timing you. He is definitely heading that directionIF he has not already done it behind you.

To have an intimate relationship with a female superior is pretty much a fantasy for most men. Having the opportunity to actually make it come true and nothing happens? Come on! The temptation is just too irresistable.

He might want to have you believe that it's just a one off thing and you are still his true love. I wouldn't believe a word of it. Prepare yourself as this is not likely to turn out well for you.

Sorry and good luck.

Old 08-24-2006, 08:55 AM   #4
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 85
ispyrebel HB User
Re: I think there is more to it...

The mere fact that you have to post this is a good indication that you already know.

Old 08-24-2006, 09:52 AM   #5
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,410
cookiepls HB User
Re: I think there is more to it...

I'm so sorry. He does have all the classic signs of someone who is cheating or trying to cheat. Let's break it down.

Calls you paranoid because of your concerns about a co-worker obviously being all over him.
He's on the phone with her for an hour.
Said he would never go away again knowing what it was doing to you.......then all of a sudden, after seeing her again, he has to go away again.
You knew in your gut he was with her when you were trying to find him.
He was with her in the pub all afternoon and to half past midnight that night, even knowing it makes you uncomfortable.
Told you not to come on Friday for fear of a confrontation with her.

Lola, I know it must hurt, but your gut instincts are working perfectly. You know exactly what's going on.

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