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Help me out, please.

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Old 08-27-2006, 01:29 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Help me out, please.

My girlfriend and I kinda went on a break last night. She said I had been getting on her nerves lately and that she needed time to be single and reevaluate, and that she had some internal conflicts she needed to resolve. I knew I was getting on her nerves, and I tried so hard not to, but it didn't really work. I suffer from depression, and a lot of times it affects me and how I act. I get on my own nerves when I do this, and this has really motivated me to try even harder. We had been together a little over a month, but I really truly like her very much. I've been physically sick with anxiety and worry since last night, and I just need some help. She wants to remain friends, which gives me a small bit of hope. How can I get her back? I know i screwed up, but I have nothing but the best intentions. I want to start again for real, and I'd tell her that, but i'm afraid it would just hurt the situation if I exploded all my thoughts and feelings on her at once. She said she needed time, and I want to give her time. I want her to be happy. But I also want to be with her. She told me she still liked me and we would definately still talk and everything. I care so much for her, and I just want her back. Please help me.

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Old 08-27-2006, 02:59 PM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 797
eve40 HB User
Re: Help me out, please.

You need to back way off and cut contact for several reasons.
1. The more you chase someone the faster they run away, men or women. That's just the way life is. She may come back, or not, depending on her true feelings for you, but she needs space to miss you and wonder about you and what she gave up.
2. You need to develop a life, friends and support system, for yourself, in case she doesn't come back. Even if she does, you must have a life of your own. NO ONE can be the end all and be all, of our lives. It is too much work for any one of us.
3. You are NOT her friend, nor do you want to be ONLY her friend. You are her, or want to be her, lover. Don't settle for less then you want, in a relationship. If she can't provide it, you need to move on and find a woman who can. Seeing her as just a friend is telling her, by your own actions, that you will accept only that. Is that really all you want, from her? Are you really willing to listen to her cry on your shoulder about the new guys in her life, once she's made it clear it's friendship only? She'll have it good, a date when she needs one and a guy who loves her, even as she dates other guys. What do you get out of that kind of deal? A broken heart. And remember, you will never be open to new love, as long as you are obsessing about her.

Last edited by eve40; 08-27-2006 at 03:06 PM.

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