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Baised Comparisons

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Old 08-31-2006, 12:55 AM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 69
caladbolg HB User
Baised Comparisons

Curious to what everyone thinks. After a long term relationship, how long does it take for you to start dating seriously again? For me, I enjoy stability. I like delving into serious relationships, and normally don't date anyone who I can't foresee a stable future with.

The problem is that I have a tendency to compare everything about new girls (physical and intangible) to my dumb EX. I hate that I use her as a baseline, but how can I stop? I used to be (and still am) in love with her everything. Anyone have any tips on this? I know I should focus on things I disliked about her, but they were the smallest parts of her.

Or am I kidding myself? Do I need more time to recover from the heartbreaking split?
Go Bucks!

Last edited by caladbolg; 08-31-2006 at 12:58 AM.

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Old 08-31-2006, 07:11 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 632
LostMyHeart HB User
Re: Baised Comparisons

Oh goodness, it took me 2 years.
Well, I did talk to some guys before that point, but they didn't even come close to working out. I suspect I wasn't ready.
Actually, I still don't even know if I am ready. But I do feel like I want something good to come into my life at some point in time.
But after two and a half years, I still compare everyone to my ex. I know how horrible that is, but haven't figured out how to stop!

How long has it been since your breakup?

Old 08-31-2006, 08:15 PM   #3
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 69
caladbolg HB User
Re: Baised Comparisons

Originally Posted by LostMyHeart
How long has it been since your breakup?
Couple months
Go Bucks!

Old 09-01-2006, 06:22 AM   #4
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Lagos, Nigeria
Posts: 176
minijumbofly HB User
Re: Baised Comparisons

Actually, time is not necessary relevant in this issue.

But first, make sure you are OUT of the last one before you move on. Once you are free and clear, (may be except for the nastalgia) then you actually control the time frame by the way you spend your time. i.e. the selection of activities.

Also, please do try not to compare the may be's with the ex. I personally hated this with passion. It's just plain non constuctive. You should try to look at each may be like your first love, from scratch. Otherwise, you are looking for a replacement with improvments.

If you're an average guy, I'll say 3-4 months is the norm. That should be enough time for all the sulking, mourning, healing, reality to set in...... etc etc. But what the heck, you never know who pops up just when you think you NEED more time. So keep your head up, eyes open and put on your best face. Good luck.

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