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How to tell them?

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Old 09-02-2006, 04:17 AM   #1
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DesperationGirl HB User
How to tell them?

I'm in a rather... unique situation.

I live with two roommates and their child. I've dated both roomies. Separately, of course. The guy first, for five months, and the girl for three months a while back (we decided we made better friends.) and I moved in with them about six months ago. The three of us have become very good friends despite the oddness of the situation and some initial problems. They're very much like my family.

Unbeknownst to them, a "friend" and I started dating a short while back. He and I have known each other for three years (nearly four) and had both felt very strongly about eachother. We simply hadn't acted on it for various reasons. He and I are now ready to come out and start telling people about our relationship - in fact, we plan on moving in together at the end of my lease next March and are talking about a wedding date!

We're both very happy, but I'm very much unsure of how to break this news to my roomies. Despite the fact that I've approached both of them and told them that I will be leaving (I have not told them the reason) they have reacted with skepticism and, on separate occassions, extreme protesting and disappointment. The woman has a heart condition, as well, and I am worried about potentially making her sick. Though I've told them that I will be leaving, I believe they wish for me to (and possibly still believe that I will) stay with them long-term, as in a number of years. The little boy is eleven months old and his father keeps talking about how I could help them run him to kindergarten, oh my!

To add to the awkwardness of the situation, I have a very lengthy history of train wreck relationships that the roomies are aware of. Mark is fiance number five, and despite the fact that he and I see eachother frequently, he lives six hours away. I am unsure how to present the fact that he and I are engaged to my roommates and have them take it seriously, as well.

I am not good with people on any level. I have several personality disorders and a rather large social phobia. So, approaching handing over this kind of news is enough to make me a nervous wreck! Suggestions on how to do so would be greatly appreciated.

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Old 09-02-2006, 02:36 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: USA
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GypsyArcher HB User
Re: How to tell them?

These people may be your friends, but they are not acting much like friends lately. Instead of encouraging you to do what is best and makes you happy, they want to keep you with them so you can help them out.

Well, you're an adult. You can't go through life just doing things because other people want you to. I don't think you necessarily owe them an explaination. You're moving out, and that is all they need to know. Let them whine and pout...too bad, so sad.

You already told them you're leaving. That's good enough. If they choose to delude themselves that you're going to stay around because they have you earmarked to take their child to school, that's their problem. Not yours.
The grass is always greener on the other side...until you get closer and see that it's astroturf~

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