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Will things ever change?

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Old 09-04-2006, 02:27 AM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 96
Pebbles26 HB User
Will things ever change?Advice/pearls of wisdom/anything!!!

Have to admit...I have the Monday Blues.

Afer a summer of holidays, weddings and generally fun, fun, fun (!) I feel a little at loss to know where I'm going or what I'm doing. I suppose it's easy to fell positive when the sun is shining and there's nothing to worry about! Trust the good old English weather to bring you back down to earth with a bump.

Romantically, i'm trying to keep my chin up. Why is it everywhere you look there seems to be happy couples and people making plans, except you.

I'm attractive (so I've been told), good fun, no major hang ups e.t.c., get on really well with men . . .however following a split from my ex (of 2 years) last autumn things haven't been great -not dull, but not great.

Number 1 man - (he's still in touch and loves me to pieces apparently) Took me away lots, we make each other laugh, the sex is amazing, perfect in every way except - HE HAS A LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND! Doesn't compare to me, he's trapped, he's going to leave her blah, blah, blah. haven't seen him since March as I made a conscious effort to protect myself and end it but it's hard when he's still in touch and in an ideal world I'd love to be together.

Number 2 - mega keen on me but a little strange.Isn't it always the way!

Number 3 -very brief affair. Girlfriend. Deja vu anyone!

Number4 - an old flame that i used to date when I was 18, all quite platonic is those days as there was quite an age gap. Anyway, went old holiday and met up with him as he was working where I was staying. Cue 2 week, full on romance -like nothing I'd ever known. He was due home in a couple of weeks and gives me the impression that we'd pick up where we left off. I have no reason to doubt as we had a history and we'd been friends for over 10 years. In my book,, friends don't hurt each other. How wrong I was. He comes home and it's like we'd never happened, he's slippery as hell, he finally tells me (by text) that he wants to be best mates and it was an unbelievable two weeks "mate'. Bizarre. I've seen him a couple of times since but all very weird. Also met an off/on girlfriend of his - is this a factor, who knows? But without being up my own arse, I was very disappointed in his taste. It happened a couple of months ago and it hit me quite hard. I even went to see a counsellor as I was really hurt.

Number 5 - very recent. Been on a couple of dates. Lovely guy but I don't think it will go anywhere. he's twenty years older with two grown up kids.

Just generally quite sad about stuff. Tears in my eyes writing this. i had a really bad time with my ex and think that I did well to come out of the other side but I don't know what else it out there for me.

I've been so positive and full of fun but it feels as though it's all been knocked out of me.

I'm in debt and feel quite lonely, even though i have lots of friends.

Thanks for reading.


Last edited by Pebbles26; 09-04-2006 at 03:58 AM.

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Old 09-04-2006, 04:35 AM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 38
horsybreeze HB User
Re: Will things ever change?

Hey Pebbles - I know where you're coming from!!! I split with my ex (we were together approx 10years) 2 years ago in Aug. He was a very decent guy, and lovely and everything, but I just fell out of love and was so miserable because I knew he was a good guy, and why didn't I fancy or love him anymore??!!! I still don't know. I decided that to be fair on the both of us, not to continue. We lived together and everything. In the last few months we were together, I sort of saw someone from work - only ever would go to the pub, have a drink and a chat and that was it. Finally, we kissed and because I'm a loyal person, I knew that I couldn't continue my relationship because of this. To cut a long story short, the work guy told me a week after I split with my ex, that he was gonna be permanently single and yadda yadda, basically led me up the garden path and dumped me like a sack of **** at the end. I can't tell you how much that hurt, given that I'd given up my home, relationship everything.

Well, the being single was so hard, I hate being alone and yep all you see are happy couples etc. It was awful..... After about 6 months, I finally got my head round it and decided actually, it wasn't that bad --- I went on a girly beach holiday, I lived with a flatmate, I done a girly roadtrip round California -- things I would never have done if I'd stayed in that relationship. Now I'm ready finally to settle down.

I meet a wonderful man a year and a half ago, that I so wanna spend the rest of my life with. The relationship was great until I found out three months ago he'd been lying and decieving me -- he was a coke addict.

I'm still there with him, but I know I have to get out, I don't have the strength to, I love him so much, I am soo unhappy and so miserable. I'm with someone, yet again I look at happy couples and ask 'why can't it be me'.

I think I've grieved enough for the relationship I thought I had, and in my mind, I do feel single again. I'm trying to get out there and rebuild a social life.

Why are men so confusing.... All I met are men that just lead me on. I feel like an idiot, a mug... I dunno...

And the worse thing is.... I saw my ex zooming down the street on Saturday in a horse and carriage with his new bride

I'm so mixed up right now too!!!!!

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