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Creating issues

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Old 09-04-2006, 02:59 PM   #1
making up
Join Date: Sep 2006
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making up HB User
Question Creating issues

Anyone else find themselves creating issues where there are none? Those are the exact words used recently when I had gotten upset, paniced, and told someone how I was feeling. Looking back on it now, I see that I made stuff up that hadn't really happened. But I don't 'see' it when I do it. Any advice or confirmation that I'm not the only one that does this wacky thing?

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Old 09-04-2006, 05:33 PM   #2
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desertdweller HB User
Re: Creating issues

I've been told I do this all the time. A therapist told me once that it was because I grew up in chaotic home and I try to recreate the drama. Boyfriends would tell me I try to stir up trouble, make a mountain out of a molehill, over-analyze everything... come to think of it, my husband tells me that too

Old 09-04-2006, 05:52 PM   #3
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laurie864bla HB User
Re: Creating issues

I have been guilty of doing the same thing...not completely make stuff up...but over analyze things to death, and make it far more of a big deal than it needed to be. Ex H used to complain about it, even young bf has said it once or twice, but I try to be very mindful of it now.

I think...altho not sure...that it's because I don't like feeling insecure about where things stand. When things start eating at me, and I feel like I am being misunderstood, I stew and stew, adn then blow. Really stupid. Thank God the guy I am with now knows this about me, and cuts me slack when I have done that. He always takes some responsibility in the end for starting the "stew" process by not talking enuf.. LOVE that about him. My X wouldn't take responsibility for anything.

I always feel so justified when I do it, and when they make me see it's really not that big of a deal...I get embarrassed at my reaction. I don't like a lot of drama, and am VERY happy when things are calm, but yet--I DO find myself having over reactions to things where I feel misundersood. I think we all have our "thing." Important is to recognize why we do it...adn tell our SO there's a problem and we are working on it.

Old 09-05-2006, 09:27 AM   #4
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minijumbofly HB User
Re: Creating issues

Originally Posted by making up
Anyone else find themselves creating issues where there are none?
Actually, this is highly argumentative. Whether an "issue" is a mountain or molehill depends highly on the point of view. Up to now, I still don't know why it's such a big deal leaving the toilet seat up but I sure get ****** when the lights are left on in unoccupied rooms.

Nowadays, taking deep breaths are like second nature to me whenever I feel anything brewing or stewing. It sure saves me a ton on medications for my high blood pressure.

If only all the people in the world are naturally considerate and accomodating, this world would be a better place. Boooooring yes, but a better place nevertheless.

Old 09-06-2006, 03:00 PM   #5
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Veronica_Mars HB User
Re: Creating issues

I think everyone does this to some extent, the important thing is recognizing that you have this tendency and making an effort to react more rationally when you catch yourself blowing something out of proportion. I have a tendency to be a bit obsessive and sometimes an offhand comment will bother me way more than it should...while I used to think I was just stuck being an anxious overanalyzer, now I am starting to see that I have more power than I realized to improve this aspect of my personality. For me, it helps a lot when I get mad or upset to try to see the situation objectively and decide whether it is a big deal really, or only in my head. If it's just me creating drama, I try and talk myself into letting it go and remind myself not to overreact when it pops into my head. Anyway, it's good to realize your triggers and weak points, like Laurie said, so you can work on not creating drama unless it's really necessary and worthwhile. It will probably take a good deal of effort and some time for you to work on this, but it's definitely worth trying, because you have nothing to lose except negativity and potentially a lot to gain. Good luck!

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