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I Don't Know Where Else To Turn

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Old 09-06-2006, 03:59 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
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chocaholic1 HB User
Question I Don't Know Where Else To Turn

HI, I don't know where to start, I have been seeing this guy for 1 1/2 years & we are engaged, but it seems in the last 6 - 10 months that he is acting differently, he spends all my money & never offers to buy me any thing or even go halves, he tells me I can't have certain foods (like chocolate) because they make me fat, if i do eat them he has a tantrum, he has no consideration when i have to get up early, he still wakes me up at 3am when he gets home ( he even sometimes watches movies really loud) he doesn't like me going out to town or seeing friends (not even txting them if they are male) & he accuses me of cheating on him, like every week (especially when Im tired & don't want to sleep with him)

Don't get me wrong, I love him more than anything but I just don't like being treated like this
Any advice would be appreciated

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Old 09-06-2006, 04:55 AM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Lagos, Nigeria
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minijumbofly HB User
Re: I Don't Know Where Else To Turn

Originally Posted by chocaholic1
:... I love him more than anything but I just don't like being treated like this...
Hmm...Hmm...Excuse me. But please let me take those dark rose colored glasses off you. It's blinded you and you are just a step or so from being sold off as a slave.

Now, open your eyes. SURPRISE !!! You are currently engaged to PAIN !!! I guess you must love him, nothing other than LOVE can be powerful enough to numb you like this.

Sorry that the point is blunt, but that's what the doctor ordered for a bubble your size.

Old 09-06-2006, 05:11 AM   #3
Join Date: Mar 2005
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gamecock360 HB User
Re: I Don't Know Where Else To Turn

I would have to agree with the other poster. I know you do love him but if he is treating you like that now just think what it will be like after you get married. PLEASE don't think he will change because it won't. If anything it will only get worse.
You do need to kind of open your eyes. You don't deserve to be treated like this. I know its hard because I recently had to take my rose colored glasses off as well. It's not fun but it must be done.....
Just know that we are here for ya.......

Old 09-06-2006, 08:20 AM   #4
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Re: I Don't Know Where Else To Turn

Well I'm not one to mince words......I will make this short and sweet.....
your boyfriend is a control freak, and if you marry him you will be making the biggest mistake of your life......

Old 09-06-2006, 05:39 PM   #5
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Music4All HB User
Re: I Don't Know Where Else To Turn

Love, without the behaviors that demonstrate love, is not a love, it is low self esteem and fear of being alone dressed in the guise of love.

There is no advice one can give to make this better as he is who he is and is not likely going to change. You are left to decide if this is a life you want to live. Life and love can be better than this, I hope you can gather the courage to go find it.

Old 09-06-2006, 10:58 PM   #6
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 470
plasva HB User
Re: I Don't Know Where Else To Turn

Some posters are being really hard on you. I just want to tell you that it's not normal for your boyfriend to tell you not to eat chocolate or never take you out. It sounds like if you marry this cheapskate, you will have a lifetime of unhappiness, and he will never make you feel special and loved.

You deserve unconditional love, someone who is not cheap and who will spoil you sometimes, someone who respects you and who isn't selfish.

Don't spend another penny on your boyfriend. If you want to try to work things out with him, stop paying for him when you go out. Write a list of everything that needs to change, give him the list, and DO NOT settle for less.

Pay for yourself and let him pay for himself. If he says he has no money, go out by yourself. Tell him to sell some of the junk he undoubtably buys himself.

Be strong, and stand up for yourself.

Good luck.

Old 09-07-2006, 12:47 AM   #7
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Columbus, OH
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caladbolg HB User
Re: I Don't Know Where Else To Turn

Originally Posted by plasmodiumovale
Some posters are being really hard on you.
I happen to think that their posts are being harder on her fiance He deserves the criticism. It's hard to think about breakup being engaged and all, but the others are right. This needs to stop. I, too, believe that if you marry this guy, he's not going to change, and he'll continue making your life miserable. Avoid that route. You're clearly unhappy and in PAIN, so why marry into it? You'll just realize it later in life, and breakup with him then. Except this time, it's a divorce.
Go Bucks!

Last edited by caladbolg; 09-07-2006 at 12:49 AM.

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