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  • Husband e-mailing ex-girlfriend from high school...

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    Old 10-03-2006, 12:06 PM   #16
    ksammon
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    Re: Husband e-mailing ex-girlfriend from high school...

    needadvice2
    Thanks classmates.com for making it so easy to dig up old fossils so easy that should have remained burried and forgotten

    you need to talk to your husband he needs to cut this girl or he's going to end up hurting you

     
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    Old 10-03-2006, 02:26 PM   #17
    bulletproof
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    Re: Husband e-mailing ex-girlfriend from high school...

    I hope that you will rethink snooping and trying to find out information that may not even be there. While I believe that bad things can happen, again, it's not about someone else coming into the picture. It's about that person coming into the picture when the marriage is vulnerable. I hope that you are putting your energy into the situation at hand (your relationship with your husband) as opposed to searching for clues to cheating that you have no proof has happened. There are plenty of people that have reconnected with someone and not had it turn into an affair. I wish you the best of luck.

     
    Old 10-03-2006, 06:41 PM   #18
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    Re: Husband e-mailing ex-girlfriend from high school...

    This is similar to a situation a close relative of mine was in. An old classmate found her on the internet. They are both married with kids. They both got rather addicted to emailing each other, and she got scared that her husband would see the emails and music he was sending her, so she got another email account. Her husband found out and thought it was an internet affair and wrote the guy telling him never to write her again. So he didn't, but instead, the classmate found me on the internet (I went to the same school too) and started writing me. I kind of felt bad for him, because he was depressed and I didn't think her husband should have interfered because she's an adult. I do think they got carried away, but they live in different countries and neither one would have gotten rid of their spouses. Because her husband forbid her to write him, she has still occasionally been wanting to write him, months later. She doesn't want to upset her husband, but him interfering is not good because she feels controlled by him. So for a good while there, I was stuck in the middle with them both writing me for support because of the way it abruptly was ended, when I had nothing to do with it. It was rather draining. But, the thing is, you may be jumping to conclusions. Sure, they are catching up, but eventually it might die down, and if you try to prematurely stop it, it might just fuel it more. Your husband has the right to choose his friends. However, your situation is a little different, since the woman is getting a divorce. Maybe she is on the rebound, and she will move on. I'm not saying anything is going on (I didn't read the entire thread yet though). But the fact that he sent her a picture on your family vacation doesn't seem that bad to me. Did he tell her it was a family vacation (that you were there)? That seems like a good thing if he mentions you to her in conversation. I don't think it necessarily means anything is happening. Something could happen, but it may not, and so maybe you should just try to trust him, because no matter what you say or do, he'll wind up doing what he wants anyway. He should be with you because he wants to, not because he feels forced. If he feels forced, he might want to free himself, and you don't want him to have to free himself. Just make it clear how it makes you feel, and what your boundaries are.

    Mugwump

     
    Old 10-04-2006, 08:24 PM   #19
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    Re: Husband e-mailing ex-girlfriend from high school...

    I have to agree that its not about the person attempting to get into your relationship, its about your relationship not being sound. A sound relationship should be able to withstand old friends cropping up.

    From experience, I have used class mates to find people I fell out of touch with by moving freguently and changing names ect. I ran accross an ex who I had been proposed to many years ago, and I have to say it was nice to see how we moved on and where we are today, and how funny it would have been had we actually gotten married back then, our spouses were in on the conversations. I never hide anything from my spouse, and could care less if he read what was said. My husband is the least worried person on earth when it comes to affairs. I could never......neither could he.

    Something in the other person is striking a nerve in your spouse, he must enjoy the attention hes getting and missing it from you. Just a quess on my part.

    Good luck

     
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