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Just curious...

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Old 09-27-2006, 03:22 PM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: California
Posts: 340
CyberNick HB User
Just curious...

One of my best friends that I have known since about 3rd grade has recently bounced from one girlfriend to another. (He's 23, I'm 22). He was with a girl for a few years, and left her recently for a girl he ended up meeting in one of his classes. The reason he told me that it happened was because he didn't realize how happy he could be with someone until he met this girl. He said he felt like his old relationship was just a sham or something to pass to the time before he met this new chick, whom he apparently feels much more strongly for.

I guess I was just wondering, is this something that's healthy to do? Or is bouncing from girl to girl like this a sign of something else, like insecurity? It doesn't even seem like it phased him that he was totally devoted to someone for over two years, and in a matter of days he's enamored with someone completely different. I try to talk to him about it, but he says it just happened and that sometimes life throws unexpected things your way. I know his ex that he left somewhat, she's an allright girl. She's pretty much distraught over this situation and keeps turning to me because I know him better than anyone else. All I can tell her is that I don't know what to tell her, and obviously I have to side more with my buddy because I've known him forever and he's usually a pretty stand-up guy.

Have any of you guys ever left a significant other for another man/woman for whatever reason, and had it work out? I'm just trying to understand his frame of mind.

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Old 09-27-2006, 05:59 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 264
BetsyJean HB User
Re: Just curious...

It's called "dating", CyberNick!
Honest - as long as he's not handing out dimond rings and leaving them at the altar, this is what dating is supposed to be like.
Otherwise, you stay with the person you're dating - forever - even if they aren't the right person for you. A sure path to a divorce.
Should he figure this out sooner?? Sure! But most people in real life don't want to be alone and keep trying to hang in there and work things out.

Here's a real life story for you...
A guy & girl have known each other for 4 years, dating for 2 1/2 of them. They are even talking where to go on the honeymoon even though there's no ring... The guy's ex-girlfriend leaves a message at his parents, and he calls her back.
They meet several times behind the current girlfriends back.
She is pretty intuitive and senses something is up.
She confronts him, and he tells her that he "feels he loves this ex-girlfriend more".
The End. Girlfriend is devastated. Cries for two weeks straight.

and the real life ending:
Guy marries ex-girlfriend after 6 months. No other info known.
Girl meets the right guy within the year and they get married. Celebrating 17 yrs next month.

Am I glad he dumped me for the ex-girlfirend?? You bet!!!!!

Old 09-29-2006, 02:01 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: sydney
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Chez19 HB User
Re: Just curious...

I'd simply say that his ex girlfriend wasn't right for him. I have many friends who have been with their boyfriend/girlfriend for a couple of years... only to then realise that they don't really "click" as well as they could. Then they can meet somebody and know instantly! I knew the first time I saw my boyfriend that he was the one for me... can't deny chemistry!

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