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When words don't mean much anymore

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Old 09-29-2006, 11:59 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 93
2CBK HB User
Unhappy When words don't mean much anymore

What do you do when your spouse says "I love you" but it doesn't mean much to you?

I've been married for over 9 years and DH was the first boyfriend I had. I don't want to leave him, but I feel like our marriage is loveless, on my end.

I know all marriages goes through it's ups and downs, and that the flame eventually fades. But, what do you do? My husband says terms of endearment often and it doesn't mean that much to me anymore. I feel like I have to respond "I love you, too" out of courtesy.

I must admit that DH and I don't do anything extra special together anymore, other than the usual go out to dinner on Friday nights (with our son). I've told him I'd rather go on frequent small local weekend trips throughout the year, than one big vacation. He agrees but the plan always dies away.

It also doesn't help that he's gone EVERY WEEKEND during hunting season.

I feel like this is eatting me up!

Any suggestions?

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Old 10-01-2006, 07:53 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 11
rdh2006 HB User
Re: When words don't mean much anymore

I know how you feel. I have been married almost 5 years. I am miserable in my marriage. My husband is never home and when he is home we dont even talk. I would rather he not be home most times. He contributes NOTHING to our home.
I am planning on going to counseling.because I feel its the only thing we can do at this point.

Old 10-01-2006, 12:26 PM   #3
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Posts: 1,128
hillaryb HB User
Re: When words don't mean much anymore

I'm going of five years of marriage. I feel that we are in a bit of a slump but it isn't really bothering me. He is very affectionate but we don't do much together.He works alot and I do EVERYTHING else like cook, clean, care for the kids, drive him to and from work (his car died) and I run all the errands too. All he does is work. Well, I'm starting work again soon and it will be interesting to see how much I have to do on top of work.

Funny thing is, I'm not mad. But I'm used to being alone with the kids and when he has to leave town it doesn't even phase me. I think I love him still but I'm feeling like I don't need much from him. Maybe that is a good thing. I'm still independent and he doesn't have to worry about me but at the same time I kind of miss having those strong feelings I used to have.

Old 10-01-2006, 09:14 PM   #4
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 300
HelpHelpHelp HB User
Re: When words don't mean much anymore

so you want to take this weekend trips? Then plan one. He might be waiting for you to take the initiative to see JUST how serious you are. He might sense your "dwindling emotions" and wants to see how committed you are, if you'll take the intiative, etc.

Plan the trip yourself! If you want to go, then MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Old 10-27-2006, 02:33 AM   #5
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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Whisper30 HB User
Re: When words don't mean much anymore

I really feel for you - I too know how awful it feels to say "I love you too" when you really don't feel that way.

Last edited by Whisper30; 10-27-2006 at 02:37 AM.

Old 10-27-2006, 07:41 PM   #6
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 797
eve40 HB User
Re: When words don't mean much anymore

Words are golden if they are followed by action of the same. They are meaningless if the actions are the opposite of the words.

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