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What do i do? Do i cut off contact with her or...?

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Old 10-04-2006, 09:19 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Devon, UK
Posts: 2
Tikk HB User
Unhappy What do i do? Do i cut off contact with her or...?

Heres the back story. Ill give you the whole thing, then maybe you can tell me if im being stupid, or if im right or what.

Back in february i met this girl and her boyfriend. Id never had friends before then so i was surprised when i found i got on with these guys really well.

I got on with the girl the most though, simply because shed had similar bad experiences as me and was also mentally ill, like me. she also hugged me, which has never happened to me before.

To begin with everything was awesome. They invited me out every weekend or so, and i really liked being with them. This lasted a couple of months.

Then a few things happened at the same time.

She met this guy on the internet. Well, i met him and introduced them, in a way.

Quickly they became awesome friends, and i tried my hardest to be happy for them, but it eventually turned to jealousy, especially when they started talking on the phone for hours ech night. ive never spoken to her on the phone. obviously i didnt mention my jealousy, and acted as normal.

Then she was taken into care and put up with carers. This put her in a different city, however, she was still staying with her parents every weekend.

she stopped inviting me out, and when i invited her she couldnt make it because 'too much is going on'. In the meantime her and her boyfriend travel up to london to meet this guy from the internet, and they continue talking on the phone. She sends him a letter telling him how awesome it was to see him and what a great person he is. shed never sent me a letter. Theyve already made plans to go up and meet him again in november.

the online conversations with her are now too strained. they never progress past 'how are you' 'im good, how are you' 'fine'.

What do i do? I used to look forward to talking to her, now i dread the tension and depression that comes from wondering wheher she actually likes me any more or not... shes the only person who has ever been nice to me... this is tearing me apart...

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Old 10-04-2006, 09:35 AM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 31
ksammon HB User
Re: What do i do? Do i cut off contact with her or...?


i'm sorry for your pain i know what it feels like to have a good friend and you seem so close and then things go really wrong i was in the same boat kinda i think most peolpe were or are
please don't take this the wrong way but you have to try to find new friends i know that those are simple words but not always so easy to do. so hang in there and you never know what might happen -
can i ask why you never had friends before -or really close freinds before ? it that what you mean ?

Old 10-04-2006, 10:17 AM   #3
Join Date: May 2006
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 745
minnesotagirl HB User
Re: What do i do? Do i cut off contact with her or...?

I think you should seek out other friendships and continue to talk to her as your friend. Don't be uncomfortable with her, try to be positive. Look, you developed a friendship with this girl and her boyfriend, and even helped her make a new friend! What this shows is that you DO have social skills and that people will like you if you give them the chance! You have the ability to make friends! What a positive thing for you. Focus on that. And, I'm sure she did like you from the beginning and still does. Try to hold you head up. Repeat in your head, "I deserve to have friendships. People will like me. {insert girl's name here} liked me. And because of that, other people will like me." This is true -- very, very true!!

Are you in counseling? If not, try it out. It might really help you. And another idea I have is support groups. How about seeking out a support group for people with problems similar to yours? I believe this would really help you out. A counselor might be able to find one for you. If they can't, then ask another counselor.

A part of life is helping yourself to make these kinds of improvements so you can be happy. Remember that people like to be with others who are positive. However, those with similar problems as yours may be more open to your personality. Remember that everyone in the world has problems, even if it may not seem that way. You sound like a decent person who just wants some caring and understanding. And you deserve it!

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