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my mother is killing my father.

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Old 10-09-2006, 01:47 PM   #1
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angel_light HB User
my mother is killing my father.

I know I said I would just forget about my parents.. but my dad emailed me again, they have him on so many medications it is not funny. He is losing his mind and my mother is pretty much killing him softly and slowly.

WHAT DO I DO? I told him to leave.. he can fight in court for custody of the kids. I do not know what to do, but this is stressing me out. MY MOTHER IS EVIL. She has told him it is all from smoking that he is sick and she is yelling at him day in and day out and NOW, she is in counseling. Well she said her counselor is preparing her for my fathers death, because she said his smoking is killing him, when in all actuality it is her and stress from her madness...

PLEASE. I am lost as to what to say or do. I do not know. This is ridiculous, but if something happens to my father I will call social services on my OWN mother and have the kids taken away. This is so past the point of no return anymore... This has gotten to the point of just madness.. What do I do?

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Old 10-09-2006, 02:03 PM   #2
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Re: my mother is killing my father.

why don't you just call social services now?

The "kids" you speak of, are they your brothers/sisters? How old are they?

If your mother is truly the monster that you say, then you are doing them a disservice by allowing the situation to continue. You have an obligation to them to report the situation. DSS will not tell them who reported. They will likely visit the home and maybe question the kids.

You may also want to call someone at your siblings' schools--a guidance counselor would be best--just to let them know what's going on. They will keep an eye on the situation and notify authorities if something seems off.

Lastly, if you can find out who your mother's counselor is, call him/her up. They won't tell you anything about her treatment or things that are said during her therapy, but tell them you are a family member and you want to give some information that may help in her treatment. Perhaps, if you can make a trip there, even going in for a session yourself with the counselor will help give a better picture of what is going on. Recommend that your father do the same--your mom may be the crazy one, but your father probably needs therapy just as much after being put through everything he has lately.

Old 10-09-2006, 02:15 PM   #3
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Re: my mother is killing my father.

could it be possible that you have a distorted perception of what's really happening? I bet you have no idea how stressful it can be to be a caregiver to a sick person.....especially a sick person who doesn't even try to help himself (which sounds like what your dad is doing, if he's still smoking). why don't you ease up on your mother.....I doubt if she's 1/2 as evil as you are suggesting. Here's a places with her for about a week, take care of your dad and give her a break to have some time to herself, and see what a week in her life is all about.

Old 10-09-2006, 07:18 PM   #4
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Re: my mother is killing my father.

I am agree with the previous person. Why don't you go and leave for a while with your parents. My brother lives in a different state and my mother is very sick and she often calls him and complained that my father shout at her and telling her something he should not tell her and my brother who was always sided with her fighting with my father over it.
I know for sure that she is very good at pushing buttons, she did a lot of bad decisions in the past from which all members of the family suffered a lot. Outside she may seem like a poor sick person bad husband are shouting at.

Old 10-09-2006, 11:31 PM   #5
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Re: my mother is killing my father.

First this is one of the first times my father has taken medicine. The dr.s said that stress is literally killing him. You do not understand. Some of you probably have not read my previous posts. My father is not one to complain. My mother might be crazy from so many kids, but the way she treats my father is horrible. I was just there a few months back for my college graduation. AND she was cruel. I never thought anything until I was there. It had been a year since I had seen my parents and I was so so upset.

Not only did she start fights with me while I was there for a week, but on my graduation night. Then she started fights with my father, he gave her a mothers day gift and she did not even acknowledge it, instead my sister and her bf gave my mother a gift and she jumped up and gave them hugs and said thank you so much, you two are so sweet.. etc.. etc.. etc.. and then she looked at me and asked me where her gift from me was. I will find some of the emails I have been sent.. even ones where she is telling me that my father might hurt her, when he is not like that. I lived in that house for 22 years. I should know.

Last edited by angel_light; 10-09-2006 at 11:33 PM.

Old 10-10-2006, 06:14 AM   #6
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minijumbofly HB User
Re: my mother is killing my father.

Sorry to hear the bad news about your Dad, I pity him the most in the whole fiesco. I wonder how he ever made it all those years if just a fraction of what you told is factual and not biased opinions from all the past posts.

What ever you do, be sure to keep yourself firmly anchored to your own independent world first. If I were you, I would keep my distance from Mom for safety precautions. Help your Dad by staying in touch and show emotional support. He is the only one to decide whether it's right or wrong to continue smoking or stay with your Mom regardless of good intensions from anyone else.

Just keep the faith and hope for the best, mostly for your junior siblings. They'll need all the divine interventions they can get.

Old 10-10-2006, 06:23 AM   #7
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BetsyJean HB User
Re: my mother is killing my father.

I apologize for not reading all of your other threads, but is it at all possible that your mother has developed Alzheimers or Senile Dementia??
The behavior you mention can be part of the Personality changes that occur in those diseases.

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