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Help!!!! Confused newly wed.

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Old 10-12-2006, 07:29 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: applevalley,
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JohnsGirlFlea HB User
Help!!!! Confused newly wed.

Here is the scoop ...

Okay, I recently got married to a long time friend of mine aprox. 4 1/2 months ago. We only dated for about 2 months prior to our marrige, but we found ourselves madly in love and wanted to do things the right way..

We have the most awesome relationship he is still one of my best friends but...... Suddenly everything goes sour.

Out of no where he tells me that he just doesn't love me any more and tells me to get my **** and get out,seriously for no reason. I had to cancel our honey moon my dad arranged for us, it was horrible.
I am such a wreck at this point,trying to figure out what I am supposed to do with me and my 3 year old son.
three days later, he changes his mind. He said I think I am making a wrong decision, Bla bla bla....... so we worked it out everything was fine and then it happens again, he wants me to get out.

to get to the point this has happened over 7 times back and forth. He has me on a emotional roller coaster I have gotten to the point where I don't even want to un pack my bags because I know Damn well I will have to pack them again.
One Day he is so in Love with me and the next he hates my guts and swaers I was a big mistake.

Just a few weeks ago I caught him talking to his ex- wife ...
well after that I had detailed phone records printed out to see just how much he has really been talking to her and gues what he has talked to her every day at least 11 times a day since 2 weeks after we got married.

In addition I found out he spent the night at her house and slept in her bed 2 weeks ago when he was supposivly with the boys... But they both swear they did not sleep together....
when I called him out on everything he swore up and down that he was so sorry and he loves me and agreed that he would never call her again. well, He called two days later about 10 different times for about 15 min. each time .

What am I supposed to do? I love him so much,. Can I fix him?

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Old 10-13-2006, 07:13 AM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Help!!!! Confused newly wed.

GET OUT. This man has some diagnosis that he could get from a psychologist. He is definetely unstable. My second comment is why you are drawn to someone like this? What is up with you that you are drawn to such drama?

Old 10-18-2006, 04:14 PM   #3
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 261
RiAnne HB User
Re: Help!!!! Confused newly wed.

HE does not have you on a rollercoaster. YOU have you on a rollercoaster. somebody kicked you out 7 times. that is just absolutely ridiculous. NO you cannot fix him. a person cannot fix another person. only he can. and without you. you can keep this up and you'll be in here creating another thread saying that you got kicked out 7 more times. there is nothing anyone on this board an say to you that will make you realize how retarded this situation is. when you finally get fed up with this (i truly hope that it is sooner rather than later), you'll leave. until then, you might as well, like you said, keep your bags packed cause he's going to kick you out again.

Old 10-18-2006, 07:48 PM   #4
Hope Always
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Canada
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Hope Always HB User
Re: Help!!!! Confused newly wed.

It sounds very confusing and scary. What about your child and the impact this is having on him. You deserve better. it sounds like your Husband is very confused as to what he wants. Maybe he needs to make a descison.

Old 10-18-2006, 07:54 PM   #5
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
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rendill HB User
Re: Help!!!! Confused newly wed.

Wow... I thought my situation was bad. I'm very sorry for what you're going through... I know how bad you're hurting. The heart wants what the heart wants, right?

But honestly, you need to leave him and NEVER look back. Much like me, you're stuck in a cycle of self-destruction. And it WILL NOT stop until you do something about it. This will go on as long as you let it... for years and years until you leave. Every time you take him back you're telling him that you're weak and that he can do this whenever, because you'll always be there waiting for him. He obviously still has feelings for his ex wife, and it sounds like she has feelings for him too. Do you really want to be second to your husband's ex wife? You must know in your heart that you don't.

Leave before you let this really ruin your life... and one day you'll meet someone who not only loves you, but loves ONLY you.

Old 10-19-2006, 02:33 AM   #6
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Location: Lagos, Nigeria
Posts: 176
minijumbofly HB User
Re: Help!!!! Confused newly wed.

Uh....sorry. There is no other way to put this, he can NOT be fixed. You are NOT a wife to him, you are just a sub.

To hang on to an ex is one thing, but his behavior and actions are down right insane. He is sick, ill, and not in his right mind. Love him all you want, but don't expect anything in the way of devotion from from him. Do expect pain and disappointment in a big way.

I know love is blind and all that BS, but this is really more like torture. Worse of all, your child is going through all this with you every step of the way. So....what are you gonna do I have a suggestion. Run !

P.S. The siren is sooo loud that I can hear it from here. Ignore at your own risk !!!

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