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Grandmother in the middle

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Old 10-19-2006, 10:51 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Paragould, Arkansas, USA
Posts: 4
mimijoy HB User
Grandmother in the middle

My daughter went thru a painful miscarriage with her 1st pregnancy about 8 months ago. She just announced that she is pregnant again and we are all very excited. A few weeks after her announcement to the family, my son's wife announced that she was also pregnant with her
2nd child which is due just about a week later than my daughter. They have a 3 year old son as well. My daughter seems annoyed that my son and his wife are also pregnant at the same time. I believe that she feels this should have been her time to have that extra special attention that goes along with having a first baby and that another pregnancy in the family takes away from that. I know that my son and his wife could not have predicted that they would both get pregnant at the same time. My daughter in-law is fully aware of my daughters feelings and now she is stressed and sad about the situation. In reality, my daughter in-law looks up to and admires my daughter. My daughter likes and enjoys being around her sister in-law but feels that she copies everything she does, especially clothing choices, which she does not appreciate. My daughter prefers and respects individuality and goes out of her way to not buy the exact same clothing that her friends have. I know that my daughter is concerned that my daughter in-law will buy duplicate maternity clothing and baby clothes and this will set off fireworks in our family if this happens. I want both girls to feel special during their pregnancy, but I also understand the need for my daughter to feel extra special for her 1st baby. I would appreciate some suggestions from anyone who has experienced this.

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Old 10-19-2006, 11:04 AM   #2
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Near Wild Heaven
Posts: 461
dewdrop333 HB User
Re: Grandmother in the middle

Maybe make it a point to plan 2 seperat baby showers ... or go shopping with them for maternity gear seperatly and help stear them away from items you know the other has.

A baby is a special event weather it is the first or the fifth! I would also try and foster a relationship between them .. maybe have tea ... so they can talk about their feelings. Talk about their changing bodies .. whatever!
Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of children - The Crow

Old 10-19-2006, 12:47 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,787
galinaqt HB User
Re: Grandmother in the middle

I think your daughter should be happy that her baby will have a sibling same age he/she can be friends with. I gave my brother all that left from my daughter when he has his baby, so he can save money. I feel a bit jealos that he probably will have 2 or 3 kids and I wil have just one but I am happy that she will at least have cousins.
That is true that second grandkid in the family aren't treated the same way but it seems such a minor issue.
I think that your daughter makes big deal about nothing, so what if somebody copy her dress and want to buy similiar stuff for her baby. Sounds ridiculas to me. She better worry to have a healthy baby.

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