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-   -   It's her birthday, Should I call??? (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/relationship-health/446898-its-her-birthday-should-i-call.html)

JBravo556 11-15-2006 10:38 AM

It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
Okay so some of you know that me and my gf of about 8 months broke up in september. she broke up with me actually. since the breakup we had been talking on the phone and it turned bad between us, always arguing and saying hurtful things, etc... last week her sister left a message on my phone saying "don't call her anymore, my brother is ******, my father is ******, ... don't call or else". After that call I changed all of my phone numbers except my work number. Well my ex gf has been trying to reach me at work for the last couple of days and I finally picked up yesterday. I told her what her sister did and she claims that she had no idea, etc... now she is the one saying that she loves me... it's sort of like the tables have turned. anyway, today is her birthday and I feel real bad about not calling and don't know if I should. what do you guys think?

rosequartz 11-15-2006 11:11 AM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
I think you should stop thinking about her......birthday or no birthday....

at this point, you're just looking for an excuse.......

so my answer would be a big.....resounding[SIZE="7"].......NO[/SIZE]

minnesotagirl 11-15-2006 11:19 AM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
Oh my, Jbravo. What do you think we're going to say here?

No way should you call her. Who cares if it is her birthday? This girl is DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA. At 30, you are too old for this drama!

This girl is never going to be good for you. And, I think her family knows that talking to you isn't good for her either!! Even when you talk, you continue to argue. What do you think is going to happen if you talk to her today? My guess is more arguing, more emotional manipulation, more DRAMA.

This girl dumps you and then tries to call you over and over again and then says she loves you, but then also argues with you continually. That is crazy.

Definition of insanity: "Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results."

The tables have turned and I'm sure that makes you happy. Perhaps there is hope for you, you may think. Perhaps everyone on this message board is wrong about her. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Everything you say on here proves something different: she is very unhealthy for you, and sounds like her family now thinks of you as unhealthy for her!

She is very immature, too. Find someone closer to your age, please! You won't be able to get over this young girl either if you keep talking to her.

She is toxic for you. You're just going to get your hopes up again and then have her slam it all back down in your face. Do you want to waste your time like that when you're 30 years old?

Don't think about her today. Birthdays are just another day on the calendar.

Do you want the drama in your life? Do you think this is normal and this is what you deserve?

jen52983 11-15-2006 11:40 AM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
If you call her today it's going to go something like this..

"hi (enter name here). I just wanted to call and say Happy Birthday."

"Oh, thanks." says ex with little enthusiasm.

*Awkward silence*

"Um... so.... yeah... " Pause, wondering if you should attempt a conversation. "That's all I wanted to say, so happy birthday."

"thanks, bye."

*Click*

Or something similar.

The phone call will not be rewarding, will not be gratifying, or lead to whichever happy ending you desire. You will hang up feeling empty and maybe confused. You could very possibly end up kicking yourself for calling at all.

Save yourself the further heart ache and confusion. DON'T CALL!!!

GypsyArcher 11-15-2006 11:41 AM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
Ix-nay on the call-ay.

Ms_ENV27 11-15-2006 11:45 AM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
[QUOTE=jen52983]If you call her today it's going to go something like this..

"hi (enter name here). I just wanted to call and say Happy Birthday."

"Oh, thanks." says ex with little enthusiasm.

*Awkward silence*

"Um... so.... yeah... " Pause, wondering if you should attempt a conversation. "That's all I wanted to say, so happy birthday."

"thanks, bye."

*Click*

Or something similar.

The phone call will not be rewarding, will not be gratifying, or lead to whichever happy ending you desire. You will hang up feeling empty and maybe confused. You could very possibly end up kicking yourself for calling at all.

Save yourself the further heart ache and confusion. DON'T CALL!!![/QUOTE]


So TRUE! and you'll probably just end up asking her what she is doing for her birthday and then feel bad when it's not going to be spent with you!

Do yourself a favor and find something to do tonight so you don't think of what she's doing.. go out to dinner with friends.. work late whatever. Just do something..

JBravo556 11-15-2006 12:03 PM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
Thanks guys... I guess you all are right. I did feel bad after getting off the phone with her yesterday because she sounded how she did when we first met, acting sort of sweet and caring. I don't know what to think anymore, all of this is just messed up.

minnesotagirl 11-15-2006 12:04 PM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
[QUOTE=JBravo556]I did feel bad after getting off the phone with her yesterday because she sounded how she did when we first met, acting sort of sweet and caring. .[/QUOTE]

Key word here: ACTING

Bracelet 11-16-2006 06:03 PM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
You have got to be kidding me?!?! HOW many times are we going to have this conversation?!?!

Fine, you know what? Just get back together with her. You obviously don't have the capacity or maturity to move on and find a real relationship because you prefer drama and BS in your relationships. Go ahead and call her on her birthday. Call her everyday! Call her every single day and get back together with her, because you obviously can't live without a loser for a girlfriend. Wonderful! Now that we've gotten that squared away...

Go for it. I dare you.

Fabat40 11-16-2006 10:50 PM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
[QUOTE=rosequartz]I think you should stop thinking about her......birthday or no birthday....

at this point, you're just looking for an excuse.......

so my answer would be a big.....resounding[SIZE="7"].......NO[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

I second that emotion!

samb0 11-17-2006 12:57 AM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
does JBravo556 remind anyone of that a guy from the film "40 year old virgin"
not the main character, they guy that was in "friends" & was phebeys husband.
this guy constantly goes on about his ex & how special she was
lol

tnmomofive 11-17-2006 03:14 PM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
NO JBravo do not call her.You can bet your *** her reason for calling you is just more games.Do not waste another 8 months on this girl or even 8 seconds.

JBravo556 11-18-2006 03:41 AM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
well i haven't called her but she keeps calling me on my work cell phone and my work line, I answered and told her to stop but she says how she loves me etc.... it is really annoying... she wanted to come over yesterday but I told her NO. after the message her sister left I don't trust my ex's motives... she might say I did something to her for all I know. I can't change my work numbers for obvious reasons so how do I fix my little problem now.

Kszan 11-18-2006 06:54 AM

Re: It's her birthday, Should I call???
 
Do you have caller ID on your work number? I do, so I don't pick up if I know it's someone I don't want to talk to. If not, then I highly suggest you talk to your supervisor and tell them you are getting harrassing phone calls from someone, which is disrupting your ability to work and you would like to look into having a new work number. That is what I would do, if I was in your situation.

If you don't have caller ID and you pick up the phone and it's her, then hang up immediately and don't say anything. Keep doing it every single time she calls. Don't even say a single word, as soon as she said, "Hi" then just CLICK! That's all you can do until your supervisor can help you get your work number changed.

Don't say you "can't" have your work number changed, because you can. You just have to approach it the correct way. If you insist that you are unable to concentrate on your work due to harrassing calls, then they have to change your number. Unless you work for some stupid podunk company that doesn't give a rat's about its employees, like my boyfriend's employer.


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