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  • Psycho Ex girlfriend...

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    Old 01-09-2007, 03:40 PM   #1
    mannie8
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    Psycho Ex girlfriend...

    I'm in a fairly new relationship, long distance in fact, and right off the bat my boyfriend's Ex tried messing with us. She somehow faked an email from me to him leading him to believe that I was NOT interested in him. That was like two days after I met him! Well we talked about it and found out it was her and I didn't think much of it at the time, just let it roll off my shoulders. Well then when he was here visiting me for the weekend, she kept calling and texting him about stupid stuff, just trying to annoy us. Again I didn't think much of it. Then a couple weeks later he told me she said something mean about me to him and he really doesn't want to talk to her anymore. (He was only talking to her to try and be friends since they grew up together, and wanted to stay on good terms). It was quiet for a while and now she is back playing games and knows that I'm coming to see him this weekend and he says he wouldn't put anything past her. His solution to the problem is to ignore her. I'm not so sure that is going to work. I certainly don't want to ignore her and just put up with her psycho jedi mind tricks until she decides to go away, but I also don't want to do something that will upset my boyfriend. Any suggestions?

     
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    Old 01-09-2007, 03:45 PM   #2
    rosequartz
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    Re: Psycho Ex girlfriend...

    well the only suggestion I have is find a new boyfriend, who is not long distance who doesn't have a psycho ex!

    it's just not going to be worth it in the long run.

     
    Old 01-09-2007, 03:51 PM   #3
    happymom28
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    Re: Psycho Ex girlfriend...

    I completely understand you not just wanting to ignore her, but sometimes that is the best solution. She is acting the way she is because she is jealous of you having her ex. In her twisted little mind she thinks that if she keeps acting this way it will scare you off and then she wins. Your boyfriend has cut all contact with her right? If not, I would demand that ASAP. Normally I wouldn't be one to say that, but given her actions I think it's needed. Hopefully once she realizes that all she is doing isn't going to affect your relationship she will move on with her life (or lack there of) and leave you two alone.

    Honestly, as tough as it will be try your hardest to ignore her. Unless she somehow attacks you physically don't give her the time of day. And, if she does pull something that juvenille, call the police and press charges. Don't stoop to her level and you will look even better in your boyfriend's eyes.

    Good luck this weekend!

     
    Old 01-09-2007, 03:52 PM   #4
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    Re: Psycho Ex girlfriend...

    Wow, well this could put a strain on even a close distance relationship. Obviously she has problems of not getting over him that she needs to deal with, and girls can be crazy sometimes, but you don't deserve to be treated this way by a girl you don't even know (do you?). If it were me, I'd prolly ignore her too tho. Hopefully she'll finally get the hint, and if not, then maybe he needs to think about further harrassment action he can take against her (depending on how bad it gets).

    Hang in there, and try not to let her get to you!

     
    Old 01-09-2007, 04:11 PM   #5
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    Re: Psycho Ex girlfriend...

    I'm not really sure what you CAN do. If you confront her, especially if you get up in her face and call her names like psycho, that will only make her more determined to "win" and make your life miserable. It will only strengthen her resolve. In her mind, you're the interloper, she's expecting you to get mad and agitated and come after her. In fact, she's probably hoping that you'll engage her in some way and start a conflict so she can have the fight she seems to be spoiling for. I think it's the smart move to not give her what she expects or wants. As hard as it may be, you and your boyfriend should both ignore her as best you can unless and until she crosses the line and you can nail her on harrassment charges. Also check to see what kind of stalking laws your state and his state both have. Pressing charges on that front could get tricky since you say it's long distance so I dont' know if it involves two different states or not. But unless she breaks the law, keep your numbers unlisted, your email addys as private as possible, and ignore yer as best you can.

     
    Old 01-09-2007, 06:11 PM   #6
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    Re: Psycho Ex girlfriend...

    I agree with the other posters - ignore her. Why? Because that way you're not giving her any power over you. If you acknowledge her psycho behaviour, it's as if it's somehow worthy of notice & it lets her know that she has an effect on you and an impact on (i.e. control over) your relationship. That's probably what she wants after all - to play a part in your relationship. Don't give her that as it'll only encourage her to keep it up. Treat her in the insignificant manner she deserves. Don't let her and her psycho behaviour be important or worthy of your time. Whatever you do and however you chose to deal with her, keep it between you and your bf - keep her out of it and relegated to the sidelines. I learned this the hard way. All I can say is that she's only as important and significant as you allow her to be. So ignore ignore ignore. As an added bonus, it'll probably drive her mad that you're ignoring her and acting like she's some insignificant trivial irritant that you can't be bothered to acknowledge. Basically, let her play out her psycho drama and remember that just because you're being forced to watch it doesn't mean you have to get up on stage and become part of the act.

     
    Old 01-11-2007, 05:35 PM   #7
    DazedandConfused
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    Angry Re: Psycho Ex girlfriend...

    Oh my bf X was the exact same way...she gOt a hold of my # once and used to phone down and say that he wanted me and our daughter and our unborn child(i was preggers) dead..im like omg..that is sick..she used to phone his parents saying that i was harrassing her..making up all these lies...that was enough i went through hell..actually me and him were together for 4 yrs b4 he was with her..we brOke up for 8 months..he met her,...dated her..he brOke up with her..we gOt back together..and thats when it started ....its unbelieveable wut sum ppl think love is..and wut they would do to keep it..i would not call thier relationship love..by no means..she slashed his fathers tires on his car..omg..it was hell..unbelievable..dont have no contact with her until she smartens up!!!

     
    Old 01-12-2007, 07:52 AM   #8
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    Re: Psycho Ex girlfriend...

    I have a similar situation, just not as extreme. My BF is also still friends with an ex who is still attached. He remains friends for the same reason, they grew up together.

    I think both of our guys need to realize that sometimes some people just aren't healthy to keep as friends. A real friend wouldn't want to hurt someone they care about. If she really cared about his friendship she would want to get to know you right?!

    At least your BF recognizes that she is a problem. (My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy!)

    I don't think there is really anything YOU can do. Your boyfriend, being her friend, needs to really talk to her about backing off, and moving on, and to just get over it really. It may help if you meet his ex.

    If him talking to her, and ignoring her childish, jealous behavior doesn't calm her down.. then you could always press harrassment charges or something. Not that you want to go that far, but unless she does something even more drastic, I think your options are limited.

    she's jealous. she needs to get over it. I think that's probably something she'll only really be able to do on her own. Hopefully your boyfriend will realize sooner than later, that she is a bad friend and not worth keeping around. Maybe he needs to give her an ultimatum (spell check!?)

    I would ask him to talk to her about her actions. Let him know (if he doesnt already) that it is really effecting your relationship, and that if keeping her "friendship" is more important than his relationship with you, then maybe he can't have both.

    Good luck.

     
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