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  • Afraid I'll never meet someone again

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    Old 01-29-2007, 10:24 AM   #1
    Andrew29
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    Unhappy Afraid I'll never meet someone again

    I'm 22 years old, and my relationship with my 1st real girlfriend is going to end soon (lasted a year). It's too complicated to explain our relationship, but it was and is still amazing. I'm actually terrified that I will not meet someone again for a looong time.

    I had a very early start with the opposite sex, my 1st girlfriend (wasn't real relationship) was when I was 10 years old and lasted like 2 weeks. It took me another 12 years to finally GET ANOTHER DATE..which led to me getting a girlfriend. 12 years to finally get a date with a girl! It's not as if I didn't try; I liked a lot of girls, they just didn't like me back and wouldn't even go on a date with me.

    Then suddenly, I met this girl and everything was just perfect. I went from extremely extremely lonely to a heavenly relationship in which I cherished every moment of it. And soon, she'll be gone... and I'm going to go back to being extremely lonely again.

    We both kinda knew the day would come where we'd have to say goodbye to each other. For the past 2 months, I've been trying to meet someone else to take her place...but with no success at all. I'm really afriad that it may take me years and years to get another date again..

    I know your thinking "oh don't worry, u'll meet someone soon". That's exactly what i was told during my 12-year drought. Every year on valentine's day, my birthday, xmas, I would think that I would meet someone soon, but it never happened.

    Last edited by Andrew29; 01-29-2007 at 10:28 AM.

     
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    Old 01-29-2007, 10:26 AM   #2
    rosequartz
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    Re: Afraid I'll never meet someone again

    why will she be gone? is she going away to school or something?

     
    Old 01-29-2007, 10:33 AM   #3
    Andrew29
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    Re: Afraid I'll never meet someone again

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
    why will she be gone? is she going away to school or something?
    No, it's too complicated to explain why we're gonna break up. If I do explain, this whole post will get too off-topic.

     
    Old 01-29-2007, 10:36 AM   #4
    N.U.K.E
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    Re: Afraid I'll never meet someone again

    I take it one of you is moving away maybe?
    First of all how do you feel about her. Because while she will be fresh in your mind or still around, to get another relationship will be a dangerous exercise. I can understand you don't want to be alone, hardly anyone does, but, I'm a true believer in that patience is the name of the game here and when you least expect it, it arrives. Don't hurry yourself into things, thats my opinion anyway.

     
    Old 01-29-2007, 10:43 AM   #5
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    Re: Afraid I'll never meet someone again

    My dh and me was married when he was 42 and he had plenty of relationships/dates before me. His brother only dated at school and then found a gf he lives together at 40+. It is kind of late in life but it will happened. You are in the age category where women don't look for something serious but in there 30th they will.

     
    Old 01-29-2007, 11:13 AM   #6
    anilorak
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    Re: Afraid I'll never meet someone again

    First.. let me say.. you are only 22! (I'm the same age, but female). Also, age 11-20 can be very very awkward. Lots of immaturity, and childish drama so it's no wonder you didn't get a date. I didn't meet my first boyfriend until college, though I longed for a relationship all those years before. At 22, you WILL meet other people.

    However, don't expect to meet anyone or have another healthy relationship until you're completely satisfied with who you are as a person, and you've gotten over the last relationship. The harder you try to meet your next girlfriend, the more she will elude you. Women can sniff out desperation, and it's hardly attractive. Take some time off to find out who you are as a person, and what you want with your life. But don't mope around and feel sorry for yourself, because it sounds like you can't do anything about your situation, and it will only be a waste of time. It's okay to be sad and it's okay to miss your girlfriend. But don't convince yourself that you won't find another woman, because the more you think that, the more it will come true.

    I know that a lot of that sounds cliche, but I've seen it happen with my guy friends too.

     
    Old 01-29-2007, 12:23 PM   #7
    rosequartz
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    Re: Afraid I'll never meet someone again

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Andrew29 View Post
    No, it's too complicated to explain why we're gonna break up. If I do explain, this whole post will get too off-topic.

    Andrew without knowing more details, it's hard to respond. If you do explain, how will it be off topic? It's about you and your concerns....and the information you're leaving out could be relevant.

     
    Old 01-29-2007, 04:37 PM   #8
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    Re: Afraid I'll never meet someone again

    Every single time one of my relationships ended, I said the same exact thing, "I'll never find someone else." EvERY single time! But then, sooner or later, eventually, I DID find someone else! In most cases, unfortunately, it was too soon right after my last relationship ended to really have some "me" time, but it happened.

    So I'm just telling you that, we ALL play this SAME game with ourselves at the end of every single relationship. ALL OF US say this to ourselves. You're no different than ANYONE ELSE here. But just like all of us here, eventually, at some point, someone else comes along and another relationship starts again. And then that relationship either continues and moves on toward marraige, or it ends. And the cycle begins again.

    It IS what it IS. It just IS! It's a cycle that never ends, and that happens to literally every person who attempts relationships at all. Relationships begin and then they end and then someone else comes along, period. For you to assume that you'll never meet anyone again is not only ridiculous but it's also completely illogical. Completely and totally illogical. What makes you any different from anyone else here? You're just another person at the end of a relationship like so many other people here. And all of these other people, just like you, will eventually find someone new. That's just how it goes. That's just how it is. And unless you completely close yourself off and live like a hermit the rest of your life then you're bound to meet someone somewhere at some point.

     
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