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Seeing ex at work

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Old 02-25-2007, 06:27 AM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Leeds, England
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VideoKid HB User
Seeing ex at work

I was with my ex for 2 years and we split up last Sunday. It was sort of a relief as he was controlling and fairly mentally abusive to me however I cried like a maniac for a couple of days because I was so lonely.
During last week I started to get over him and was feeling pretty confident about moving on - then Friday I saw him at work and it killed me because it brought all those feelings back again (We work at the same place by the way). I stayed strong at first like it didn't bother me but everytime I turned round he seemed down and was staring at me all soppy so I thought he missed me and got confused and upset, seeing that he turned all "I'm not bothered" and just started laughing with friends.
Then yesterday I was at work and I got into some trouble with my manager which ontop of the breakup, failing my driving test (which I really hoped I'd pass but I had other things on my mind) and some other stuff at work I started crying because it was all too much. The only person I felt I could go to for comfort (but reallllly didn't want to) was my ex. He hugged me and told me not to cry but he had a "I like you as a friend but I don't care about you like that anymore" attitude about him which hurt me because this was the person who swore for 2 years that he loved me so much, we'd work through anything and we'd even planned our lives together. How can he not care so fast?

The thing that hurt most was I had a "date" last night. Even though I had every intention of going I told my ex I wouldn't go if it would upset him since it had only been 6 days since we split up. He looked a bit hurt at first but then later he just laughed and said it he wasn't bothered if I went.
Am I just stupid to still care about him? I know Thurs morning he sent a message to his best friend saying "Going through the sad stage of the break up where i miss Deb" but over the weekend he didn't seem to care one bit which hurt even more that he's apparently over it so fast.

I just don't know how to feel. Do you reckon he's actually over it or just faking it cos to be honest the breakup came so fast, one minute he was buying me 12 red roses and telling me he loved me so much then the next he was said it wasn't working. It wouldn't be as bad if I didn't have to see him EVERY week at work and to make it worse we're going to London on Friday til Monday as we've had it booked ages and it was too late to cancel and too expensive not to go so we agreed to go as friends.

Sorry its so long, any words of advice would really be helpful!

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Old 02-25-2007, 09:08 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: California
Posts: 443
try-ink HB User
Re: Seeing ex at work

How about......

One last kiss.

A trip to london is a perfect opportunity. See if he makes a move......

if he don't.............then you make the move.

such as:
--grab his arm..and pretend as if you are cold or something.
------if he brings you closer then...he still cares

--try to feed him
------if he jerk his head back....then.....not a good sign

--were you intamate with him before??
------if you are sharing rooms...........crawl in the same bed...pretend you are cold or something

Old 02-26-2007, 12:58 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 126
*DottieGirl* HB User
Re: Seeing ex at work

I had a boyfriend guy that I worked with, way back, years ago, and ever since then I've avoided that situation like the plague. I had to leave that job, and then, even when I left, he still kept trying to "make contact" by getting into friendships with my friends just be around. Insanity.

Old 02-26-2007, 02:32 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 1,418
GypsyArcher HB User
Re: Seeing ex at work

I know how it is to break up with somebody and then see them every day at work. Not fun.

But you said that this guy tried to be mentally abusive and controlling. So ask yourself, really, why would you want that kind of poison back in your life? You sound like a great girl, you're young, and now you've got your freedom. Live it up! Don't waste time trying to cling on to this person who has already proved himself to be something of a creep. Why worry so much whether or not he wants you back or misses you? Who cares?

It sounds like this trip to London has the possibility for a lot of drama. I hope that somehow you're able to have fun and focus on yourself. Try to enjoy it as much as possible and remind yourself how much better off you are. Really.
The grass is always greener on the other side...until you get closer and see that it's astroturf~

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