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Men Who Are Shy And/Or With Low Self Esteem...Are They Worth Giving A Try?

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Old 03-27-2007, 04:45 PM   #46
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Re: Men Who Are Shy And/Or With Low Self Esteem...Are They Worth Giving A Try?

Originally Posted by galinaqt View Post
Although we are shy, but if we have to have unpleasant talk or make important deceisions we do it as best as we can. We may not like it, but we do what we have to do.
My husband would be scared off by pushy noisy woman, who wants to take charge. Some man may prefer it.
May be your bf left you 'cause another lady has more money or don't have kids from previous relationship ( just an assumption). He would look better telling you that he doesn't like your personality, not financial portfolio.
Another person may very well be attracted to you.
Well, around him and other people I was very comfortable with I had no problem stating my opinion, but in general I was shy and quiet and didn't jump in and take the lead in situations, and it became rather obvious over time that he wanted me to, in fact a couple of times, once when an auto mechanic lloked like maybe he was taking him for a ride and once when he was playing on stage and a drunk woman came up on stage and started rubbing on him, and stepping on his foot pedals, he said he had wished I had stepped in. Actually, I'm not sure if he left me FOR the woman he married or if he just met her after he left me, but no, she had much less money than I did, I think she had spent her life as a stay at home mom until her divorce. I was single with no kids, and she was freshly divorced with three kids, with a lot of marital debt and much less money and much less education and earning power than me, but a pushy attitude and a big mouth, or so I'm told. So, your assumptions are very INcorrect.

I guess we could say that there hopefully is a lid for every pot and we all have a shot at finding what we want. For some women, shyness and lack of self confidence is a total turn off, for others, as long as it's not taken to an extreme, it isn't so much a deal breaker. I gues you just have to figure out how you personally feel about it and deal with your potential dates accordingly.

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Old 03-27-2007, 07:26 PM   #47
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Re: Men Who Are Shy And/Or With Low Self Esteem...Are They Worth Giving A Try?

Your ex sounds like a very strange person. It is his business to deal with automechanics. They respect man more than woman even if man doesn't know much. I often suggested take my dh with me to mechanic, so they will not screw me up. He should deal with woman who bothered him not you. Sounds like he wants to be a big baby.
Good luck to you!

Last edited by galinaqt; 03-27-2007 at 07:29 PM.

Old 03-28-2007, 05:53 AM   #48
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Re: Men Who Are Shy And/Or With Low Self Esteem...Are They Worth Giving A Try?

Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
I'm rather shy, avoid confrontations, am introverted, etc. and I dated a like minded fellow for a couple of years, and neither of us took the lead either, and as a result, in the long run, it was disaster. He ended up marrying a Sharon Osbourne type. I just think if the bills are going to get paid, if the business is going to be run, if the neighbors are going to be put in their place when they step over their bounds, if someone bullies your kid, someone has to go talk to the parents of the bully and get it straightened out. If both people are shy and afraid of conflict and avoid confrontation and don't handle money well, etc., then who's it going to be?
Well I am sorry that your relationship didn't work out between you and your ex partner, but it doesn't always have to work out that way.

Because a couple are shy, it doesn't mean they have no backbone. People can be shy in different ways, for example what I meant about my partner being shy, was when I met him, and how I found it to be attractive etc, was the fact that he wasn't pushey, he was slow at confessing his feelings for me, and was nervous around me, cause he liked me. That doesn't mean that he is shy regarding life in general, just shy around the opposite sex, which its what we are talking about here.

It is about getting the balance right, we are a sucessful couple, and work together well as a team.

Just because both parties of a couple are 'shy' that doesn't always mean scared of conflict or confrontation, that is just taking shying to an extream. In our case, we are shy around the opposite sex, and in some social situations etc.

I think the point to the original poster has to be, if this guy is shy to the extream such as can't look out for himself etc then maybe it wouldn't work - but if he is shy around you and not too forward, then maybe give him a chance.

Shyness in my book is a nice quality to own I think

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