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what do you think...am i wasting my time?


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Old 03-20-2007, 04:34 PM   #1
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Exclamation wasting my time? HELP PLEASE.

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Last edited by deskette; 08-08-2008 at 02:18 PM.

 
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Old 03-20-2007, 05:28 PM   #2
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

My honest opinion, this relationship isn't worth it. You barely know eachother, barely see eachother, and when you do you fight all the time. He cheated on you in the beginning of your relationship. When you needed him most he insulted you. Who needs an enemy when you have a boyfriend who can treat you this way?

I think you know you deserve a lot better than what you have been getting here. You haven't even been together a year and you have had enough drama to last a lifetime. I would tell him to stay in Kansas and move on. You can do a lot better!

 
Old 03-20-2007, 05:43 PM   #3
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

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Last edited by deskette; 08-08-2008 at 02:22 PM.

 
Old 03-20-2007, 05:55 PM   #4
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

Are you down on yourself SO much than you think you can be treated like this?? He uses and abuses you and you run back for more! You were RAPED, girl, and that was his response!!! Also, where is it YOUR problem if he drinks in Kansas? You are not helping him out so much as being a handy person for him to make responsible for his drinking. Then he can blame you when he gets drunk. I can't see a SINGLE reason why you would stay with this loser. Appreciate yourself, you clearly have a lot to give, plus a loving and forgiving nature. Don't keep letting this man trash you. You are worth much much more than this!! Go girl, Sera

Last edited by Seraph; 03-20-2007 at 05:56 PM.

 
Old 03-20-2007, 06:03 PM   #5
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seraph48 View Post
Are you down on yourself SO much than you think you can be treated like this?? He uses and abuses you and you run back for more! You were RAPED, girl, and that was his response!!! Also, where is it YOUR problem if he drinks in Kansas? You are not helping him out so much as being a handy person for him to make responsible for his drinking. Then he can blame you when he gets drunk. I can't see a SINGLE reason why you would stay with this loser. Appreciate yourself, you clearly have a lot to give, plus a loving and forgiving nature. Don't keep letting this man trash you. You are worth much much more than this!! Go girl, Sera
what makes everything worse, and harder is because all my friends are in a relationship. so its like, who do i have? but i dont want this relationship with my boyfriend to bring me down.

i dont know how to say goodbye. ive tried and when i do he begs me to stay. he gets so sad and i can hear it in his voice. i think because i love him so much, i feel responsible for his behavior. i dont want to be "the reason" he fails. i need all the advice i can get...i know i should leave. and i want to. but how? what am i suppose to do when he starts to cry, or when starts to beg...?

 
Old 03-20-2007, 06:11 PM   #6
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

You will not be "the reason he fails" no matter what line he gives you. It is his OWN choice to drink, overspend, etc. He is a master manipulator, laying it all off on you, the crying thing, the whole lot. Then, when you back off, he can drink all he likes (and, believe me, he likes) and whine that it is all because of you. Read up on codependency. You are enabling him to drink and not take the responsibility for it. Don't get into this!! It will be a lifetime of misery. You are his crutch, not an equal partner in a relationship, do not fool yourself about that! You will not be partnerless forever, I know that is scary, being on your own, and it is this more than anything that allows ***holes like this to latch on to women and ruin their lives. Hold out for something better!!

 
Old 03-20-2007, 06:26 PM   #7
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

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Last edited by deskette; 08-08-2008 at 02:24 PM.

 
Old 03-20-2007, 06:34 PM   #8
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

[QUOTE=destroyedbliss;2871457]
im scared you know. the thought of him being out of my life is different. but its for the better... i can find somebody that acts like they care at least...right?[/QUOTE]

Of course you are scared, and I can understand that. Hopefully you will meet many people before you settle down. HAVE FUN!! Life is too short to waste a moment on somebody who doesn't treat you right. His rantings are understandable, he will have trouble getting someone else who will put up with his ****. You will be FINE without him in your life!

 
Old 03-20-2007, 09:10 PM   #9
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

It won't be your fault if he turns out to be a failure...he is NOT your responsibility and his problems are his problems, NOT your problems. It sounds cold to say this, but sometimes in life you just have to take a firm stand and put your own best interests before other people's. It sounds like you are putting him before you right now. While it can be tough to be single when everyone around you is paired up, staying in a bad relationship is worse because it prevents you from meeting and getting together with someone who will truly make you happy. Someone who would comfort you when something horrible happens rather than blaming you, someone who would never think of cheating on you, someone who has direction and goals in life, and someone who is able and willing to see you regularly and treat you like a queen. None of these things are unreasonable to expect of a remotely decent boyfriend, particularly the support when it comes to you being raped. Any guy who would blame his girlfriend for something like that rather than doing anything he could to help is just not worth one more second of your time. Please don't think you deserve less than all that and definitely don't settle for less. This guy isn't going to change and he's not going to make you happy, and though it's scary to be alone, being single is a million times better than being with someone who isn't right for you.

 
Old 03-20-2007, 10:48 PM   #10
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

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Last edited by deskette; 08-08-2008 at 02:24 PM.

 
Old 03-21-2007, 06:32 AM   #11
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

Hi there , i'm really sorry to hear about the situation you are in , but , seriously , you have to get it together , it sounds to me like your still trying to make an excuse for the way hes treating you regarding your attack , Which is NOT ON !!You should not have to explain ANYTHING to him about that night , just telling him that something like that happened should have been enough for him to want to protect you and take care of you , but instead , he's demanding further explanations ?!!!!!!! NO-WAY , you really do deserve better than this guy , this relationship has been VERY unhealthy from the word go , by the sounds of things . And i know that you feel like you love him but , really think about it , think about all the things he's said and done to you ,do you think he loves you , or do you think he needs you ?? Seraph is sooooo right when she says he is dependant on you , men like him need someone who they can manipulate into being there for them , and the sad thing is , when you do take your support away he WILL find another gullible female to replace you , but DO NOT let it be you anymore , you are better than that and you know it . Get out and enjoy your life girlie , dont waste time on sad sorry losers like him who treat women like that . If you accept this kind of treatment from men now , chances are you will take it for the rest of your life , you'll subconsiously drift into these types of relationships , so.... get a healthy mind set NOW while you're young and got the world (and all its yummy caring and lovely men ) at your feet !!!!! As for ending it with this guy , dont answer your phone !! Or change your number , you live 13 hours away , you dont HAVE to see him or hear from him , he's easily avoided , if you make the right decision in your mind. Its YOU who's allowing this to go on . So ....do yourself a favor and change it . And get out there honey , you can do it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Last edited by jaxie 77; 03-21-2007 at 06:36 AM.

 
Old 03-21-2007, 11:15 AM   #12
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Re: what do you think...am i wasting my time?

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Last edited by deskette; 08-08-2008 at 02:25 PM.

 
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