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He's Afraid of Committment and Failure

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Old 03-21-2007, 09:07 PM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Portland, OR USA
Posts: 2
redangeo34 HB User
He's Afraid of Committment and Failure

I'm a 21 yr old female, been in a relationship with this guy for 9 months now. We took things nice and slow and the relationship has been pretty casual overall. I feel like we're at the stage to take things to the next step -serious. We do everything together from fishing and hunting, to shopping. I can easily see this guy being "the one" do I let him know that? He's 30, has his own house, good career. He's been hurt in a past relationship that took him years to get over. He has told me he is afraid of committment and Failure. How can I reassure him that if he chose a long-term committment with me, it would not result in failure?

Also, is the "next step" in a relationship supposed to just happen naturally, or should stronger feelings be expressed?

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Old 03-22-2007, 07:50 AM   #2
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Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 667
vintagegirl HB User
Re: He's Afraid of Committment and Failure

You can't tell him that a relationship with you will NOT result in failure...because you simply don't know that. None of us can see into the future, even with the best of intentions. Sounds as if he needs a lot of encouragement and positivity from you....but you can only do so much. It takes 2. I think it's a good idea to tell him where you stand....there's nothing natural about a relationship stagnating. The more natural outcome would be to move forward based on his input.

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