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I am beyond frustrated and need some help!!

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Old 03-22-2007, 06:10 PM   #1
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Sillygrl HB UserSillygrl HB User
I am beyond frustrated and need some help!!

Ok all this is not about a bf/gf relationship, but about a roommate. I really need some input and some suggestions so ANY responses are more than welcome! Lets see, where do I start? My bf and I live in an apt with a roommate. This roommate is probably the WORST I have ever had and I have a twitching eye due to all the stress he has caused me. He never cleans up after himself, never does any house work, never pitches in to buy the basics that we all share (ieaper towels, dish soap, etc). He also is the most self-centered thoughtless person ever, if we have clothes in the dryer he just takes them out and puts them on the floor. He has even taken wet clothes out, so that he can put his in. He puts our clean clothes on the FLOOR! I have talked to him about this and told him to put them anywhere but the floor and he still does it. Ok now, lets get to the kicker. He has a problem locking the front door after himself. He will leave and not lock the door. He will come in at night and not lock the door. As a woman, I do not feel safe coming home to an open house. Nor do I feel safe sleeping when the house is not locked up (he comes home later than us so we are asleep when he leaves the house unlocked). Even better, I have talked to him FOUR times over this matter and he just says, "ok I will try and do better". Try? How about you will. None of his belongings are out in the living room, so he wouldnt care if someone broke in, it would be all of our things that would get ripped off. I am at my wits end. I dont want to make the living situation nasty but I am getting to the point where I am just going to blow up. My bf has yet to talk to him, as I have asked him to. My bf is very non-confrontational, but this kid just wont listen to me! We have like 5 1/2 months left on the leasing then we are moving out of town. I want to kick him out so bad and get another roommate, but it would kind of suck to get a new roommate when they wouldnt even have a full lease term to stay, I am sure no one would even want to do that. What can I do?? I am seriously fed up and I feel alone in this as I am suspecting my bf is avoiding talking to this you-know-what because he hates confrontations. I have suggested to sit down with him but we have lost his cell number and he will be gone days at a time, so we never know when he will be home, but when he is home it is hell. Please, any suggestions would be great!!

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Old 03-22-2007, 07:30 PM   #2
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Re: I am beyond frustrated and need some help!!

AAAARGH!! How awful! I would be thinking murder myself. Having said that, can you hang on til the end of the lease, put it all down to a bad experience and forget all about. That time will go fast, and then he has gone out of your lives. I would be grumpy at the BF too, but some people just will not confront about stuff. How you deal with that issue is another matter. Trying to get rid of the lodger before the lease is up could involve you in more trouble than it is worth. Can you put a lock or chain on your bedroom so that at least you are safe in your sleep. Count the days! Cheers, Sera

Old 03-27-2007, 01:49 AM   #3
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KaraKaraKara HB User
Re: I am beyond frustrated and need some help!!

Wow... reading that, I feel as though I wrote it! I was in a similar situation recently, I live in an apt. with my b/f and his male room mate... he wasn't nearly as bad as that room mate of yours though! Our prob. was he left a sky high, (about 9 feet tall in reality) mound of boxes in our living room and a few other assorted things (car parts, other small stacks of boxes). He was living with us for about 7 months before he moved them! It really was upsetting me... and me and my bf fought regularly about it, because he is also nonconfrontational... i finally sat down with him and insisted that we put a stop to it... and my bf eventually agreed because it was beginning to get on his nerves as well! So, with a united front, our roommate finally cleared out the living room, and it stopped about 95% of the arguments. Also, he had a habit of walking in on me in my bedroom, once I was near nude! I just let it slide though, because i think he was embarrassed!!!!!

Old 03-27-2007, 11:24 AM   #4
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GypsyArcher HB User
Re: I am beyond frustrated and need some help!!

AAAARGH!! How awful! I would be thinking murder myself.
That's so funny that you said that Sera, because the whole time I was reading the OP the words "Put a hit out on this guy" kept going through my mind.

That is a seriously craptastic situation you are in, Sillygrl. So there is no way that you and your boyfriend can afford the lease by yourselves? I don't know what to suggest, although I suspect what I would do - start flipping out and screaming at this guy.

As for the laundry - since he doesn't buy any household supplies, does that mean he doesn't buy any laundry detergent either? If he is using yours, then I would just keep it hidden away in your bedroom. In fact, if it were me I'd keep all of the household supplies hidden in my bedroom and pull them out as needed, even freaking toilet paper. But I go to extremes like that.

Maybe you could find somebody who wants to take over his part of the lease, maybe you should at least try.
The grass is always greener on the other side...until you get closer and see that it's astroturf~

Old 03-27-2007, 05:47 PM   #5
Join Date: Feb 2007
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try-ink HB User
Re: I am beyond frustrated and need some help!!

I have to agree with gypsy on this one.

He is only there because he is helping with the lease. But it doesn't mean...he can take your stuff and use it.

Go ahead. Your stuff is your stuff, if he needs it....he can get his butt to the store and buy it himself.

When I first got married....Hubby was still living with a couple. Same situation..we couldn't move out because our time was not up. Anyway..lets just say there was one kitchen and one bathroom. So, I can understand what you are going thru now. But, luckily for us....We have a house now.

No matter what you will say to this man.....he will not change. You just have to do what you have to do for yourself. If you are cooking....clean up after yourself, remove all your belongings once you are done with it...and keep them hidden!--

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