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  • Living with boyfriend's parents?

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    Old 05-18-2007, 09:44 PM   #1
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    Living with boyfriend's parents?

    My boyfriend and I are currently in a long-distance relationship but I'm going to be starting school at a college in his city. I live in Canada and he lives in NY so it's a fairly big move for me to make. He has already graduated college and has a great job but is currently living with his parents working on paying down student loans and saving up for a house.

    He and I are at a point in our relationship where we're serious enough to want to move in together, but neither one of us think that this is financially realistic. When I start school there, I'll be getting a loan to pay for it and if I live in residence at the school, the amount of the loan would have to be significantly more.

    He and his parents have been discussing the idea of both him and me living with them for a little while while I get settled in at school and he saves a little more for a house. Basically it would give us some more time to be in a better situation financially to get a home and it would significantly reduce the amount of the loan that I would have to take out and therefore pay back.

    His parents are absolutely wonderful and they've been great to me. When I go visit him, I'm usually there for at least a week and I'm fairly comfortable with his parents. However, I know there's a huge difference between spending a few days visiting and living there. My boyfriend and I would also have to be in separate bedrooms (he in his room and me in the guest room) because his parents aren't comfortable with us sleeping together in the same bed until we're married (which I respect and understand).

    I guess what I'm wondering is if this is really a good idea. I've heard so many horror stories about stuff like this that I'm a little bit hesitant. Financially it makes sense, I just wonder if it would be worth it in the long run. Has anyone had any experience with this? What kind of things should be discussed ahead of time and what problems could we potentially run into? This is a decision that I don't take lightly and while my boyfriend seems to be all for the idea, I'm a little more cautious.

    Responses are greatly appreciated!

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    Old 05-18-2007, 11:31 PM   #2
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    Seraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB User
    Re: Living with boyfriend's parents?

    If it were me, I would agree, gratefully, but make it a trial-basis thing for say 6 months. By then any problems will have made themselves known, and you will be familiar enough with your new surroundings to have maybe found alternative ideas (maybe shared accommodation?) if you need to move out. The thing is, the only way to find out if it will work is to try it. There is no reason to think it won't work, unless you two break up. Good Luck! Sera

    Old 05-19-2007, 05:24 AM   #3
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    Re: Living with boyfriend's parents?

    My brother and his girlfriend lived with my parents for a while years ago when I was stilling living at home. Things were great (at least from my perspective) for a while, but when they started having problems it became everyone's business. I think this would be the most potential problem you can run into, no privacy.

    I'm not saying it wouldn't work or shouldn't consider it. I just think you need to realize that you will be giving up a lot of your privacy and running the risk of his parents getting involved in matters that are really none of their business (much like my mother did).

    Seraph's trial run idea is something to think about. I would think in that time frame you can get a pretty good feel for whether or not it would work out.

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