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  • Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

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    Old 06-18-2007, 08:39 PM   #1
    heartbroken238
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    Unhappy Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

    Had a talk with the boyfriend tonite. We've been together for a year now. I'm 19. He's 28. Apparantly, our sex life needs some sprucing up. I'm fine with the way things are but he wants me to be more kinky. I'm so conservative this is going to be hard.. He brought up how awesome things were with his ex girlfriend and how he wants me to do things like they did.. The fact that he brought her up made me mad.. but is he right? Should i be more kinky? Even though thats just not who I am? Help?

     
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    Old 06-18-2007, 08:49 PM   #2
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    Re: Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

    You should NEVER do ANYTHING that you are not comfortable doing just to impress a guy. Please promise yourself that you won't compromise your standards just because your bf thinks you should! For him to bring up his ex gf was really rude, and just for that I probably would have told him off, myself.

    In any case, if you are comfortable with the way things are, then there is no reason for you to do anything that you don't want to do. While I don't think there is anything wrong with experimenting with new stuff, you should ONLY do so if you are comfortable with the idea and if it's something that you are interested in doing. If you're totally grossed out or turned off by the idea, then my answer is a majorly loud and resounding NO!

    Edit: I just did a search for your screen name and found some posts you'd made in the not-so-distant past about this guy. Is this the same "Chris" who was treating you so badly? Because if it is, then I completely and totally stand by what I posted already that the answer is NO! For a guy who treats you so rudely and abusively, for him to insist that you be more like his ex gf in terms of kinkiness is seriously just retarded and lame, and if I were you I would have ditched him a really long time ago!

    Remind me again why you are still attached to this loser? Because you should have dumped him a really long time ago already!!

    Last edited by Kszan; 06-18-2007 at 08:56 PM. Reason: Had to add some stuff

     
    Old 06-18-2007, 08:59 PM   #3
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    Re: Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

    Exactly!! NEVER do anything that you are not completely comfortable with trying. He has no right to compare you to his ex, and that alone would have me walking out of the door. Get rid of him and find someone who considers you important enough to value you for yourself, not try to change you. Sera

     
    Old 06-19-2007, 03:20 AM   #4
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    Re: Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

    The fact that he would bring up his ex in an effort to force you into doing things you are uncomfortable with only proves that he cares about his needs and couldn't give a damn about yours!

    Do not, I repeat, DO NOT do anything that makes you uncomfortable! If you are happy with the way things are then that should be enough. He is a manipulative jerk! Today it's pressuring you for kinky sex and tomorrow it's something else. You don't need this guy.

    The age difference really stuck out to me. It's not so much the 9 years but the fact that you are only 19 and him nearly 30. It's not the same as being 30 and 39, you know what I mean? I have to wonder why he isn't with someone more his level maturity wise. I'm guessing because women his age wouldn't stand for his garbage and he views women your age as easier targets to manipulate. Think about it.

     
    Old 06-19-2007, 05:08 AM   #5
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    Re: Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

    You should never do anything you dont want to do, this guy sounds like he has a 1 track mind and its only focoused on one thing... sex? what else do you think this guy likes about you other then your sex life?i think you should ask your self some difficult questions about you relationship, re-Evluate it, the next move is yours

     
    Old 06-19-2007, 05:25 AM   #6
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    Re: Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

    You've stayed with this guy for like 8 months after you first posted that he was being emotionally abusive toward you! You're still with this pig and now you're wondering whether or not you should do something that you're totally not comfortable doing? I realize that you're young, but at some point, your mind has to take over the situation to help you understand why this relationship should have ended 8 months ago so that you could be free of his abuse and disrespect of you, so you could find someone closer to your own age who would actually treat you better!

    I mean, after all of the great advice that people gave you in all of your other posts about this loser pig, why are you still with him? And don't tell me it's because he has some redeeming qualities that you admrre or that you're afraid to be alone. Because any redeeming qualities he may have (which I highly doubt actually exist for real) are completely overshadowed by his abusive treatment of you! And if you say you're scared to be alone, I think that's the stupidest excuse ever to stay in an abusive relationship, because on your most lonliest day being on your own, you will at least know in your heart and in your mind that you're not putting up with some jerk of a guy treating you like a pile of doggy doo.

    I really hope you will seriously end this relationship. The longer you allow it to continue, the more you are giving him the message that it's ok to treat you this way. It's NOT ok, and nothing is going to change that! He's too old for you, he is emotionally and verbally abusive, he has already thrown stuff at you, how much more of this are you going to put up with? I'm telling you, it's not going to get any better! If you're waiting around hoping that he is going to change, then you'll be waiting for the rest of your life, which is way too long for you to wake up to finally ditch this loser.

    Just cut the chord. He's is and always will be a loser and a pig, and you're too good for him. Please just dump him now. Nothing good will ever come of this for you!!

    Last edited by Kszan; 06-19-2007 at 05:27 AM. Reason: spelling

     
    Old 06-19-2007, 05:27 AM   #7
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    Re: Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

    Well maybe to you what you think is "kinky" is normal to me? Maybe what he's talking about isn't all that kinky but you're so young that you are maybe naive? But if you mean kinky 3 some crap and anal crap then I'd tell him that he's going to have to find some kinky chick for that. Like to me I dont find oral to be kinky but some women think it is. In my last marriage, my husband alway wanted weird stuff...he never demanded it but I felt very uncomfortable with him wanting me to make up fantasy stories to tell him, I hated that! Then he started wanting to swing and I said "NO WAY". Well, we aren't together anymore...that will tell you something!!!!! There's nothing wrong with just good old fashioned SEX! To me and my husband, that's what we enjoy. Sex shouldn't be a chore!

    But I agree with everyone that says it you don't want to do this then don't!!!!! I've heard of women having a 3 some and feeling guilty about it forever and feeling like they were bad and dirty.

     
    Old 06-19-2007, 06:46 AM   #8
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    Re: Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

    After I went back and reread your old posts now I remember who you are. I have to ask you, why did you stay with him when you said yourself you needed to leave?

    I hope you realize that the whole "kinky sex" thing isn't the issue here. The real issue is him controlling you and making you do what suits him. This will be a continuing pattern until you put a stop to it. He doesn't love you the way he should, he loves the power he has over you. Please see this issue for what it is and do what you should have done months ago, LOSE HIM!

     
    Old 06-20-2007, 10:54 AM   #9
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    Re: Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

    this reminds me of a song.. "always stressing me about your past, if it was that good, then why didn't it last?"..............

    he's a dumb *****.

    anyone who brings up how sex was with the ex.. is just.. an idiot.

     
    Old 06-20-2007, 11:23 AM   #10
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    Re: Boyfriend wants me more... kinky

    Dump his *** and tell him to go back to his exgirlfriend if he misses the kink so much.

    RESPECT YOURSELF When you are ready to do something different THEN and only then do you. TO ask us this quesiton you are already telling me that you are not ready. So please dont. You are young and he might try to get you into OTHER stuff if you do as he asks.

    Let him go back to what he is use to.

    I didnt read your other posts but I dont have to. THe girls on here have made it clear.

    Why oh why would you disrepect yourself and your body?!!!!!! NO MAN is worth it! EVER. (of course no woman is worth it either you men out there looking at this)

    I have said this before...and I will say it again...What would you tell your daughter if she came to you and said this to you.? I am a mother of 4 and trust my dh and if we want to spice up something we talk about it. I would tell my two girls to dump him and move on. NEver ever stay with someone who is that arogant and abusive!!!!!

     
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