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  • Why do you think people re-write history? Have you ever, and why?

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    Old 07-13-2007, 08:49 AM   #1
    Larrylou'smom
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    Why do you think people re-write history? Have you ever, and why?

    I just had a memory flash this morning and it got me to thinking.

    When I was a child, my friend and I were out at recess and she wanted to join a group of girls who were raising cain in the bathroom. I could hear them whooping and squeeling all the way down the hall and I knew they were going to get in trouble so I didn't want to but my friend insisted, saying it would be fun, so we went. They were throwing tissue paper around, laughing, carrying on, I didn't want to just stand there being a wet blanket so I joined in a little, reciting lyrics from a popular scary song about Alfred Packer that was currently on the radio. I went into a bathroom stall and started coming out, acting scary, but no one was really paying any attention to me at all. Just then out of the corner of my eye, I saw the meanest, toughest teacher in the whole school standing in the doorway. I was terrified, and instictively I ducked back into the bathroom stall. Just then everyone else saw her and she chewed them all out for a bit and rounded them all up and took them to the cafateria outside the teacher's lounge to get our teacher out from lunch. I fell in line behind my friend as we marched up to the lounge and she called our teacher out, then she saw me and said, "wait you weren't there, go on now" and put her palm on the back of my head and pushed me out of line. Well, the other girls got in big trouble and had to stay after school that night and they were PI$$ed at me!! So I went to our teacher and told her exactly what happened, but she didn't make me stay after, and they never really forgave me, though I remained courtious acquaintances with some through high school.

    NOW, here's the thing...one of these girls was a sorority sister of my roommate in college, and she was hanging out in our room one day and somehow we got on the subject of that day when we were kids. And she recalled it saying the whole incident was my fault, that she and the other girls were just hanging out minding their own business until I came in and started reciting the lyrics from that song and they all joined me singing that song and that's what got them all in trouble and I skated. I was absolutely dumbfounded that she remembered it that way and I said "whoa, wait a minute, that's not really what happened" and began to tell the above, and she said "oh, this is silly, it was so long ago, what does it matter?" Well, it mattered to me because I felt that how she chose to remember it was indicitive of what she thought of me then and how she still felt about me years later, and it wasn't good.

    I was also calling to mind this guy I used to know who was 25 when he hit on and started sleeping with my best friend's little 18 year old still a senior in high school sister. Years later, when he recalled that period, he siad "oh she was 19, 20 wasn't she? (Now we used to tease him all the time about dating someone so young and it was always a big deal to smuggle her into the bars so he knew then how old she was) oh, well, then I must have been, what, 21, 22?" He played her, cheated on her, etc. and caused friction between my best friend and me to such a degree that our 20-year friendship ended in part because of his daliance with her little sister.

    Why do people re-write history? It makes me feel just awful, makes me feel like I'm stuck in the middle of an episode of the Twilight Zone and I feel like I'm going nuts and I feel so alone. Why do people do this? It's an awful thing to do to not take responsibility for the things you've done to such a degree that you pretent that they didn't even happen. Have you ever done this and if so, why? And more importantly, HOW does someone live with themselves by pretending, and trying to make someone else out to be wrong when they know that's not how it went down, or it possible that they really do remember it in a way it really didn't happen, and how can that be? i guess the human brain is a strange thing, and memory is hardly reliable, but it just floors me when people do this. Any thoughts?

     
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    Old 07-13-2007, 09:00 AM   #2
    jen52983
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    Re: Why do you think people re-write history? Have you ever, and why?

    Most people probably change their version of the story b/c they were in the wrong, and they're now embarrassed by how they acted all those years ago, or grew up and realized that they were immature or whatever. Instead of owning up to their mistakes and twist the truth to make themselves look better, even if it's for their own sake.

     
    Old 07-13-2007, 09:05 AM   #3
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    Re: Why do you think people re-write history? Have you ever, and why?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jen52983 View Post
    Most people probably change their version of the story b/c they were in the wrong, and they're now embarrassed by how they acted all those years ago, or grew up and realized that they were immature or whatever. Instead of owning up to their mistakes and twist the truth to make themselves look better, even if it's for their own sake.
    I think this could very well be, but in some cases, I think they actually believe the version they tell. I guess you have to be a psychiatrist to get into all the why's of a person actually believing their own fabricated history. But even if they don't really believe it, isn't that weird? I mean, is that something a normal, rational, decent person does? I've never done that in my life. Even when I have messed up totally and behaved poorly, I've always owned up to it, and if I remember something a long time ago, and someone else is insistant that it didn't happen the way I remember, I say "oh, ok, maybe I'm wrong". I just really don't get people sometimes. But thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.

    Last edited by Larrylou'smom; 07-13-2007 at 09:05 AM.

     
    Old 07-13-2007, 11:00 AM   #4
    happymom28
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    Re: Why do you think people re-write history? Have you ever, and why?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
    Why do people do this? It's an awful thing to do to not take responsibility for the things you've done to such a degree that you pretent that they didn't even happen. Have you ever done this and if so, why? And more importantly, HOW does someone live with themselves by pretending, and trying to make someone else out to be wrong when they know that's not how it went down, or it possible that they really do remember it in a way it really didn't happen, and how can that be? i guess the human brain is a strange thing, and memory is hardly reliable, but it just floors me when people do this. Any thoughts?
    It's really simple IMO, the "edited" version is a lot more pleasant than the cold hard truth. My sister does this all the time. It is frustrating when people don't take responsibility for their actions. I for one can't lie about anything. I am terrible at it. People who can act in this manner are missing something in their brains that have them feel guilt or remorse, or something like that. And I think your right, I think they really do believe the stories they tell. Some people who lie all the time have no idea of what is really true anymore. It's their own little delusional fantasy world.

     
    Old 07-13-2007, 11:50 AM   #5
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    Re: Why do you think people re-write history? Have you ever, and why?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by happymom28 View Post
    It's really simple IMO, the "edited" version is a lot more pleasant than the cold hard truth. My sister does this all the time. It is frustrating when people don't take responsibility for their actions. I for one can't lie about anything. I am terrible at it. People who can act in this manner are missing something in their brains that have them feel guilt or remorse, or something like that. And I think your right, I think they really do believe the stories they tell. Some people who lie all the time have no idea of what is really true anymore. It's their own little delusional fantasy world.
    Yes, I know, you're right, it is their dysfunction. I'm just trying to get a handle on how to stop allowing it to make me feel so, outcast and lonely. Because of course my college roommate accepted her sorority sister's version of the truth above mine, and she was the poor wronged one and I was the messed up weak little kid who caused the trouble and didn't take responsibility for it in her eyes, and my "friend" made me out to be some kind of neurotic who doesn't know what's best for me, etc. Well, this "friend" I've posted about at length before, and I'm not too worried about him because I know he's just crazy, but I don't like the fact that he's still friends with my ex boyfriend and I know he has painted some kind of picture of me to my ex that makes Glen Close in Fatal Attraction look like Mother Theresa. That does bother me.

    It's just hard when they turn it around on you to make you look like the loony. It seems to be the story of my life and it's just so bizzare.

    But thanks for the feedback. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has experienced this kind of thing.

     
    Old 07-13-2007, 12:07 PM   #6
    happymom28
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    Re: Why do you think people re-write history? Have you ever, and why?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
    I'm just trying to get a handle on how to stop allowing it to make me feel so, outcast and lonely.
    At least you have the knowledge of what truly happened. You can't control what others say or feel and that's a hard thing to deal with in itself. Then when you add on this "negative" impact there is from a lie it makes it a lot worse. I wish I could say something to make you feel better about, but I can't. I have been struggling with this for years with my sister. The only solice I have is knowing the truth myself, even if nobody else believes it.

     
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