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-   -   Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help... (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/relationship-health/533723-girlfriend-blaming-herself-mishaps-sick-guys-help.html)

Blastoff9600 09-14-2007 09:19 PM

Re: Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help...
 
Look in your phone book or look up planned parenthood and you should be able to find a number in the book or through planned parenthood. As for the way it is set up it depends on the canter she visits some will have group settings while others will have one on one.

MrZeely 09-16-2007 07:26 AM

Re: Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help...
 
She said she appreciates me being a little controlling. Its an inconvenience for her sometimes, but she knows it is going to help.

The other night, she said that her and her friend want to stop by their friend's apartment for a halloween party, the same friend who dates the sick guy (they live together) who tried to force himself onto my girlfriend. I flat out told her no, shes not going over there, she wanted to know why it always happens to her, its because of that. Shes already been put extremely close to it, hes STILL going to be at that apartment, and he WILL try again. I told her that is no way i am letting her go over there, and im sorry she wont see her friends at the party, but she is not putting herself near that guy ever again. She was a little upset about her friends, but says she understands.

KeltoKel 09-17-2007 07:42 AM

Re: Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help...
 
I am going to say it - Lazer, I don't believe a lot of the things this girl says. Not that I am questioning the rape, just all the guys throwing themselves at her. Her friend didn't do anything about her boyfriend hitting on another girl? Yeah right....girls are defensive when it comes to that stuff. I find it surprising that her girlfriend even invites her (your girlfriend) to come around if the boyfriend were always hitting on her. Just sounds strange.

I think she is doing this for attention and that is exactly what she is getting from you.

She needs help for her past as well as for her mental well being. I think she has some deep problems and I don't see you having a healthy relationship with her.

hillaryb 09-17-2007 09:38 AM

Re: Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help...
 
I agree with Keltokel. Maybe she wants you to feel protective of her, likes the sympathy and attention she gets from you-who knows. The fact that she only tells you doesn't prove she doesn't want the attention. She wants it from YOU. I am telling you, you are young, I've seen LOTS of girls do this. It's pretty common. There's a pattern here that I've seen before with some of my guy friends and their gf's. She needs counseling.

happymom28 09-17-2007 10:07 AM

Re: Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help...
 
I agree with both of the girls from above. I know you find this very hard to believe, but she is like a spoiled child who needs attention. She will keep finding new (and more ridiculous ways) of getting it from you. Now she has you dictating what she does and she loves it because that means she has to run her every move by you. I'm sorry, but it's pretty pathetic on her part. She really needs some counselling. I know you say she can't afford it or is too reluctant, but honestly, that can only work for so long. She eventually is going to have to face her issues if she is ever going to have a healthy relationship with you or anyone for that matter.

MrZeely 09-17-2007 12:28 PM

Re: Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help...
 
Yeah, i know for a fact he hits on her alot, and i know for a fact that he is involved with a horrible crowd. But i did kind of doubt that what she said really happened (the guy pinning her against the wall, etc), normally she is really straight up about things so i wouldnt expect a lie, but the way she handled it was very strange. She originally sent me a text message while i was in class saying she needs to tell me something afterward when i get to her house, i told her tell me right now since she brought it up, and she told me. I didnt handle it the way she would have expected too.

I mean i think what shes saying really IS true, but i do have a little doubt. But i know the ones in the past were really true.

hillaryb 09-17-2007 12:49 PM

Re: Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help...
 
Honestly, she has to be exaggerating some of this because otherwise she has the worst judgement I have EVER seen!:rolleyes:

Good luck either way.

PrincessSweetNS 09-17-2007 01:04 PM

Re: Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help...
 
I think it's really sweet of how protective and caring you are to your gf. I really do. And I don't doubt her past experiences with being raped. And I'm sure your gf is beautiful and that's why Mr. Scum keep hitting on her. But, mon cher, I must say--I'm 21, and I have seen lots of girls my age make up/exagerrate things, to try and get their bfs more 'involved' with them. Like say "Oh that man won't leave me alone, he's going to hurt me." and so their bf, honourably so, feels more compelled to protect them. Mon cher, you [I]have[/I] done everything you can to protect her. You have given her the resources to inform/protect herself. Dearest, I really think she likes playign the victim. And you are playing pander to her, cheri. I think you are a golden man and a wonderful person, and I'm sure she's lovely, but cheri.... I admit, I don't know your whoel story.... but from one of your posts, it sounds as if she would cling onto you and try to spend all your times together. And now the two of you have spent less timetogether? Could this be a way of her making sure she is always first in you rmind. I don't mean to paint her a creature, but you are such a nicce man, and I just want you to make sure that you are in a safe, healthy relationship. Which, to be honest, I don't think this is. :angel:

hillaryb 09-17-2007 05:15 PM

Re: Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help...
 
This reminds me of a girl I used to know. She wanted her boyfriend to go to the laundromat with her, but he wanted to hang out with his friends. She came back a couple of hours later claiming that a guy was sexually harassing her there and was going to possibly rape her had she not escaped.

I realize that this very well could have happened but she made a HUGE stink about her bf not going with her in the first place. Needless to say, none of us totally believed her.

Not that your gf is doing this to get back at you for something. I'm just saying, some girls have ways of getting what they want/need from someone. It's not that they are being malicious about it or anything, but speaking as a girl myself, manipulation is a good tool to use to get the reaction you need. Of course, at 31, I'm feeling waaay too old to resort to that junk.:D

Blastoff9600 09-17-2007 07:04 PM

Re: Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help...
 
Your gf is sounding more and more like my EX sister-in-law. She loved playing the victim and sad thing is she played(s) it to whoever she thinks will pander to her. Antoher sad thing is my brother being the sweet stnad up guy he is saw himself as trying to rescue her and spent about 4 years with here before he saw the light... more like she found her next knight in shining armor. Little did she know that knight was a dressed up pig. My brother thankfully divorced her and slowly movedon with his life. Though we still have to deal with mrs drama victim every other weekend.
So you have tried to help her, ways to help herself have been pointed out to her. Please dont let her control your life with her "portect me" routine. Make no mistake if she truly is using this ploy she is in total control and not you. No matter what you may think on that.
Why not go talk to her friend and see what she has to say about what he bf may or may not have done to your gf. Granted the gf will try to protect her bf but worth a shot to see what she has to say.


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