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  • fear of cheating

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    Old 10-08-2007, 05:52 PM   #1
    armyofone05
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    fear of cheating

    how can i get over the fear that my boyfriend is going to cheat on me. hes promised me dozens of times that hes not and hasnt. every girl that he works with, im convinced that he is or will. any suggestions? tia

     
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    Old 10-09-2007, 09:00 AM   #2
    nidcon06
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    Re: fear of cheating

    My and my boyfriend have trust issues but it took us a longtme to get over it. Until this day every now and then those trust issues come up. Its more with me though i seem not to get over it. I'm slowly starting to trust him again. He shows me and proves to me he isn't lying. We tell eachother everthing. For me it took alot to begin to trust him again but it can happen.

     
    Old 10-09-2007, 10:01 AM   #3
    CM_Punk_Fan
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    Re: fear of cheating

    armyofone05, I have been in the exact same boat with a previous girlfriend. My jealousy got really bad- things ranging from 'oh this random guy might walk into her place of work and snap her up from out my arms' to 'I wonder if a guy will look at her on the train and try and chat her up',as stupid as those things sound!

    You have to trust and believe that your boyfriend wouldn't go elsewhere- and he's made a promise to you as well, as boyfriend and girlfriend I'm sure you can talk to each other about your problems- be honest, and upfront with him about this jealousy and talk to him indepth about it. My ex understood my jealousy and was okay about it- I never actually suspected in a second that she would do anything- more other people trying to get with her was the thing that got to me. I am still trying to overcome my jealous side, and hopefully with a loving boyfriend you will be able to as well.

     
    Old 10-09-2007, 10:07 AM   #4
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    Re: fear of cheating

    I don't think what you have is a fear so much as an obsession, a form of OCD. And it is something you are really going to have to learn to deal with on your own rather than drag your boyfriend into it. If you are asking him over and over and over again if he is cheating, that is going to get REALLY annoying really fast (if it hasn't already). Why not try reading up on OCD and ways you can help treat yourself?
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    Old 10-09-2007, 10:17 AM   #5
    rosequartz
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    Re: fear of cheating

    do you have any reasons to believe that he WOULD cheat on you?

     
    Old 10-09-2007, 11:33 AM   #6
    happymom28
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    Re: fear of cheating

    My ex-husband was ridiculous when it came to jealousy. If there were a halfway decent guy in the vicinity he would accuse me of checking him out and wanting to sleep with him. I can't even begin to tell you how annoying and old it got!

    I agree that you should find a way to deal with it on your own. Unless your boyfriend is doing something that will make you think he is cheating then this is your problem, not his. He shouldn't have to keep reassuring you if he is being a good boy. It will only push him away and into the arms of a more trusting girlfriend.

     
    Old 10-09-2007, 11:41 AM   #7
    Seraph
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    Re: fear of cheating

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by happymom28 View Post
    I agree that you should find a way to deal with it on your own. Unless your boyfriend is doing something that will make you think he is cheating then this is your problem, not his. He shouldn't have to keep reassuring you if he is being a good boy. It will only push him away and into the arms of a more trusting girlfriend.
    Yes, please deal with this, get some counselling, or advice about obsessions, because you will lose this and any other guy eventually as you obsess your insecurities into a self-fulfilling prophecy ("If she really thinks I am doing this, I might as well, can't be any worse"). Take care, Sera

     
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