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how do i leave a boyfriend who is obsessive and abusive?

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Old 10-31-2007, 12:21 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Portage,Pa USA
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angie71288 HB User
how do i leave a boyfriend who is obsessive and abusive?

how do i leave a boyfriend who is obsessive and abusive?

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Old 10-31-2007, 12:30 PM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: California, CA, USA
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Destea HB User
Re: how do i leave a boyfriend who is obsessive and abusive?

Whoops, sorry read it wrong...

Very carefully.

Do it when he isn't around if he lives with you, and if he doesn't - go stay with someone for a little while after breaking up. If you have to, go to the police for a restraining order. Be safe!

Last edited by Destea; 10-31-2007 at 12:31 PM.

Old 10-31-2007, 01:30 PM   #3
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 484
Ms_ENV27 HB User
Re: how do i leave a boyfriend who is obsessive and abusive?

if you live with him- pack everything when he isn't home. Go stay somewhere he wouldn't know you are. And for Gods sake don't answer your phone. why leave him if you're going to continue talking to him? Right?

if you don't live with him- dont answer any calls. Go stay with a friend, relative-somewhere he doesn't know you'd be. basically the same advice as above.

if you're truly serious about leaving then you honestly don't owe him an explanation, you just end it. Via silence. Silence is 100 times more hurtful than any words can do.

If you need to- get a restraining order.

Old 10-31-2007, 03:02 PM   #4
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: albany, oregon, usa
Posts: 6
JCEprodigykid47 HB User
Re: how do i leave a boyfriend who is obsessive and abusive?

well there are all right you need to get the hell out of there wait for an opertunity to start packin up your stuff and leave when your able to get out with out gettin caught and bounce to somewhere he would have no clue were your at. just be safe and if you get out of this i wish the best for you


Old 10-31-2007, 03:38 PM   #5
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: California
Posts: 340
CyberNick HB User
Re: how do i leave a boyfriend who is obsessive and abusive?

I don't know if I would be completely silent about the entire issue and just leave. I agree with the other points though, such as packing up your things when he's not around and going to an undisclosed and trusted place where he wouldn't be able to stalk/find you. I would at least leave a note or something though saying that it's through and that you don't want to see him again, or else he might get even more agitated that you said nothing and continue to try to find you. If it continues and he doesn't leave you alone, file a restraining order as a last resort.

Old 11-01-2007, 09:29 AM   #6
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 400
JulJul22 HB User
Re: how do i leave a boyfriend who is obsessive and abusive?

I have been in the same situation for the last six years. Do you have children with this man? I know that itís hard being in this situation because most of the time, the abuser wants you to think that nobody would ever love you like they do. After a while, you start to believe it. Financially now a days, you have to have help but you only have one life and your time here is precious. You need to do whatever is it that you have to do ensure your safety.

The more that you accept his behavior, the more he thinks that he can get away with it. You have to put your foot down. You have taken a big step by asking for advice. Itís sometimes embarrassing for women to share information like that because they are perceived as not respecting themselves and weak. The fact of the matter isÖ.you want love and the majority of the time, the victim has not had allot of affection.

Please let me know how everything goes and good luck

Old 11-01-2007, 05:33 PM   #7
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 12
Panache HB User
Re: how do i leave a boyfriend who is obsessive and abusive?

This type of man only cares about himself & his needs. He comes first in other words.

He is also a bully!

You need to make a plan - there are battered women's shelters in every town almost now - in many hospital restrooms, they have a little pad of removable papers that show a 'broken heart in half' - it says
"Love shouldn't hurt!" and it gives a phone # for a local shelter.

Someone who loves you doesn't hurt you - call your State Office -
they also can help guide you, I believe - if only to a local shelter or two.

Be forewarned, he will

charm you back

and he can do that for a very short time before he reverts to the very same behavior.

He knows you'll put up with it & other women won't, sorry to say

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