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  • cheating husbands

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    Old 12-10-2007, 08:38 PM   #1
    lisagray22
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    cheating husbands

    My question is what am I to do when my husbands cheats with someone over seas? Haven't met or seen her, only by telephone and a pic of what she looks like? Yet he claims he is in love with her, wants to meet her in person, want to keep the marriage, yet wants his fun. How do I go about putting up with this kind of life? This has been going on for more than 7 years with different women, in the US and overseas. Living in despair, depression, and anger, not knowing what to do. Should I leave him and start a new life of my own? Or should I try to work things out? Guess the working out hasn't worked in the past, he said he'll stop, only for that short period of time, than start up again. So sick of being controlled, manipulated, took for granted, need help, have thought of commiting suicide before, but not anymore, now it's just difficult to break up the marriage after being together for so long and it hurts so much to think about it.

     
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    Old 12-10-2007, 09:20 PM   #2
    Leaf80
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    Re: cheating husbands

    My vote is to divorce him. He wants to remain married, but have his fun also? How the heck are you suppose to work this out if he obviously isn't willing to? I say make his choice for him and kick his no good, cheater butt to the curb and move on with your life.

     
    Old 12-10-2007, 09:42 PM   #3
    Seraph
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    Re: cheating husbands

    You know what you need to do for your own self-respect. Leave this man and find yourself somebody who will cherish you and not use you and the marriage as a convenience. Nobody deserves to be treated like this, and you are allowing yourself to be disrespected. Leave now and get some counselling for your self esteem. You are even better off alone than being in your present situation. Sera

     
    Old 12-11-2007, 12:21 AM   #4
    pendulum
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    Re: cheating husbands

    If he wanted to have his fun, he shouldn't have married in the first place. But even if a marriage is a serious thing, you can also have fun in it, can't you? So I am afraid your husband doesn't know what he is talking about. What he is doing to you is absurd. Yours is not a country where you are allowed to have more than a woman. He must either follow the rules or leave in order to live with his ladies. I suppose he even spends money on them. This could an addiction like gambling, but then it affects you personally. I know there are wives out there who wouldn't care as long as they could keep up appearances. But you are not like that: It impairs your self-respect, your sanity. I don't know if it can be fixed easily (you have already tried to - we don't know how - and it didn't work). So even if you still love this man and still have hopes he will change , now it seems it is high time you put yourself first. But you may need support to leave this situation.

     
    Old 12-11-2007, 05:17 AM   #5
    KeltoKel
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    Re: cheating husbands

    Leave and never turn back. He is scum and you deserve better. Stop wasting your life and time. I wish you well.

     
    Old 12-11-2007, 05:23 AM   #6
    princessanna
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    Re: cheating husbands

    If it were me, I'd apply the Bobbit approach.

     
    Old 12-11-2007, 05:51 AM   #7
    BeaTrade
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    Re: cheating husbands

    How could leaving be more painful than staying and being cheated on constantly? I don't think there's anything more painful than finding out your husband is cheating and in love with someone else...been there, done that!
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    Old 12-11-2007, 07:14 AM   #8
    jen52983
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    Re: cheating husbands

    being in an unhealthy relationship like this hurts more than a divorce and starting a new life on your own. If it had been the first time, I'd say try to work on it before giving up... but 7 years?? I think its time to walk away. As difficult as that may seem, its easier than what you're going through now.

     
    Old 12-11-2007, 07:18 AM   #9
    happymom28
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    Re: cheating husbands

    You've been putting up with him 7 years too long if you ask me. Men (and women) who don't want to act like they are married shouldn't be married. You deserve to be with a man who respects both you and your relationship. Of course, you won't even begin to realize this until you leave him and start gaining back your self respect.

    It seems to me that the "trying to deal with it" approach hasn't worked. I'm thinking a divorce lawyer is the logical next step.

     
    Old 12-11-2007, 07:23 AM   #10
    dma11663
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    Re: cheating husbands

    It is so hard to end a marriage and never look back. Part of you is feeling that you are not enough.....a failure so to speak. Listen to me and hear me out. It is not you...it is your husband that has the problems..the issues. He is the one that is screwed up. Better to try to walk and not look back then to spend the rest of your life or even another year trying to fix him because I relaly don't think it or he is fixable. He has problems...

     
    Old 12-11-2007, 07:40 AM   #11
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    Re: cheating husbands

    Why are you with this guy? he has no respect for you, and he will continue treating you this way, because you let him! I honestly don't get why you are there, what are you getting out of this other than alot of heartache? There is nothing lonelier than being in a bad marriage, I have been there, and I felt so lonely, once I left, even though I was single, I felt so much less lonely.

    You have created a dynamic on your marriage where he knows no matter what he does, you will stay. You need to end this and leave him and start over

     
    Old 12-11-2007, 07:50 AM   #12
    Kszan
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    Re: cheating husbands

    I think you let him get away with it too long and now you've let him think it's ok. Stop letting him think it's ok and just leave. What's the point of staying? he has proven he doesn't love you. Why bother anymore?

     
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