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    Old 12-12-2007, 08:53 PM   #1
    eric24
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    What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    The ex sent me another email after i ignore her!
    Eric-
    I really wish I had just the right words to begin writing this, but I don't. You are probably wondering why I'm even emailing you again, but I really need to say some things about how I've been feeling. If you don't want to read this I will completely understand but I just need to get this all out in the open.
    I recently read a quote that reminded me of you. It says, "Don't give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about." I have no idea if you even still think of me, but lately as I stated in my last email I can't stop thinking of you. I really feel it's because of the way things ended between us. I blame no one but myself for that. I hate that I let things end so badly, so harshly even. I am not a mean-hearted person, and I feel that is how I came across to you and how I was toward the end of our relationship. (It was the only way I knew how to deal with things at the time.) I really just wish some fences could be mended because I think of how much I've hurt you and it upsets me that I let that happen. I know I've said I'm sorry so many times before for some things I did and for some things that were said, but my sincerest apologies are the only thing I have to offer to you now. I have no idea if you forgive me or not, and if you don't, I completely understand. Looking back on our relationship, I know if I would have only been open and honest about my feelings things may have been different. I think you have known that for quite some time, but now I am seeing that because I'm working on being more open with people in my life, and I know now that I am able to do that.
    Honestly, I do miss you and you probably want to laugh in my face and say, "I told you so." That's fine though, I deserve that. In all honesty though, when I chose to walk away from "us" I not only lost my boyfriend but I lost a friend too. Lately, I feel like I've been thinking of every single memory we have together and it's driving me nuts! haha I really miss just getting notes from you or im's just to say to have a good day. I think that's something that we both took for granted- all the little things. Those are the things that meant the most to me and I'm sorry if I never showed that to you. I took a lot for granted when I was with you, and now I see that too. I couldn't believe you took the time and thought to write that long letter you did, and I didn't even respond. How awful am I? I feel like such an awful person for a lot of things, and that is one of them. Don't get me wrong, I still think there was a lot that needed to be fixed but there was a lot of good too, I think I just saw all the negative instead of the positives.
    I do know that I didn't have my heart in it 100% the second time around and that's probably most of the reason it was so easy for me to walk away. I should have taken more time to really get to know you better and think about the situation before trying things again, but that's something that I can't change now and I have to accept things for what I've made them.
    I just want you to know that I think you're a good person and you had your heart in our relationship 100% most of the time and you did try to get me to open up and for some reason I was just stubborn. I think we both learned a lot from being together, in terms of what not to do in a relationship, but at the same time I felt we had an understanding between each other. People looking in at our relationship saw it as strange, but I guess in some weird way it made sense to us.
    Well, I'm sure I didn't say everything, but since I don't know if you are even reading this I guess I will stop here.No one knows that I'm emailing you, because I've learned that all of that was a HUGE mistake in letting other people in my life and it ruined a lot. I'm sure you're moving on and doing well- and that is my pray for you everyday, that you're doing well. I didn't really want to shut you out of my life forever before when I asked you to leave me alone. I just needed some time to cool off and I believe I've had that. I will totally understand though if you don't want to talk to me, but I would love to hear from you, if nothing else just to see how you are doing. So, the door's open if you want to talk. Take care, Eric.
    Merry Christmas

     
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    Old 12-12-2007, 09:50 PM   #2
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Listen, Eric, it doesn't matter why she wrote to you again. It just doesn't matter the WHY. You need to just hit DELETE and find out if you can block her email address from contacting you again.

    Unless you want to get back into the whole DRAMA of the situation, which i'm hoping that you don't, then all you can do is ignore - delete - rinse and repeat.

    You keep trying to figure out why she is doing what she's doing, but what you need to understand is that her intentions don't matter at all. Stop trying to figure her out because she's not your problem anymore, and there's no reason for you to torture yourself trying to figure it out. Who cares? Blow it off. DELETE!!! IGNORE!! DELETE!!

     
    Old 12-12-2007, 10:43 PM   #3
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    She's selfish and self-centered. You know something, Eric? When you first started posting I thought to myself "she's been SO clear that she wants to end things and wants him to leave her alone. Why can't he just let her be." I really thought that it was you who was a bit confused. But I've changed my mind - BIG TIME! This girl is playing head games. No wonder you were confused! What she is doing is just plain unacceptable and totally unfair. She pushes you away and then pulls you back. She doesn't want to be with you, but she wants to know that you still care. She wants you to forgive her but she doesn't ever ONCE say why you should or how she'll make it up to you. Sure, maybe she's sorry or whatever ... but what's in it for you NOW?? Why on earth would you want to open that door again??? Apparently, she's self-centered enough to think that you'll do it because she's just that great - like all will be forgiven and forgotten just so that you can get whatever crumbs she's willing to give you. Y'a, so she dumped you, treated you like dirt, admits that her heart wasn't into it, that she didn't appreciate the stuff you did (like sending notes, etc.) ... and then told you never to contact her again. NICE. But, you know, now she's lonely and wants someone to make her feel special again ... so she wants you to know that it's cool if you want to call her... cos, you know, she's misses feeling special and having someone put in an effort for her. But she doesn't actually want a relationship with you. Only the you making her feel special part. What the heck???? Obviously she thinks that you'll jump at the chance. She must think she's pretty darn great. What exactly does she think you're getting out of this arrangement? You get to talk to her and make her feel special??? Is that your "prize" - the honor and priviledge of making her feel better after she's made you feel like crap?? OMG - and then the part about people not understanding why you were together??? Is she serious?? Obviously that means "my friends/family never understood why I was with YOU" -- gee, I bet that made you feel pretty special. Again, I guess she figures you'll just be grateful for whatever you can get from her! Good Lord - she's something else. Now I'm seriously wondering why she can't just let you be. You are not a play thing that she can discard when she feels like it and then pick up again when she feels like it. Like i said in your last thread - too bad for her if she misses you and misses having someone to care about her and make her feel special. If she didn't and doesn't want a reciprocal relationship with you where she also makes you feel special and cared for ... then she has NO right be contacting you because she misses things. Seems to me like she still doesn't want to actually be with you, but she wants all the benefits. Selfish, selfish, selfish. Oh, Eric, find someone who deserves what you have to offer and is willing to offer you something in return.

     
    Old 12-13-2007, 04:16 AM   #4
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Kszan View Post
    Listen, Eric, it doesn't matter why she wrote to you again. It just doesn't matter the WHY. You need to just hit DELETE and find out if you can block her email address from contacting you again.

    Unless you want to get back into the whole DRAMA of the situation, which i'm hoping that you don't, then all you can do is ignore - delete - rinse and repeat.

    You keep trying to figure out why she is doing what she's doing, but what you need to understand is that her intentions don't matter at all. Stop trying to figure her out because she's not your problem anymore, and there's no reason for you to torture yourself trying to figure it out. Who cares? Blow it off. DELETE!!! IGNORE!! DELETE!!
    thanks, your right, i dont have anything to truly say to her, and thats pretty much it, i have moved on, 3 reasons why, is because i just cant deal with a girl who is unhappy and depressed 2) i cant be with a girl who is not supported the way they are suppose to be by there parents, like i said thats sad she cant talk to her mother about life, without her getting cranky, and for her father to not help her out thats sad, and 3 her friends all suck, and its terrible those are pretty much 3 reasons to why, i dont want her in my life its sad to say, because she is a sweeet girl and just has problems, i mean since i got my closure i feel better, and is much happier, i think about her alot, but it doesnt bring me down, or make me mad or upset you know!,

     
    Old 12-13-2007, 04:24 AM   #5
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by amy2705 View Post
    She's selfish and self-centered. You know something, Eric? When you first started posting I thought to myself "she's been SO clear that she wants to end things and wants him to leave her alone. Why can't he just let her be." I really thought that it was you who was a bit confused. But I've changed my mind - BIG TIME! This girl is playing head games. No wonder you were confused! What she is doing is just plain unacceptable and totally unfair. She pushes you away and then pulls you back. She doesn't want to be with you, but she wants to know that you still care. She wants you to forgive her but she doesn't ever ONCE say why you should or how she'll make it up to you. Sure, maybe she's sorry or whatever ... but what's in it for you NOW?? Why on earth would you want to open that door again??? Apparently, she's self-centered enough to think that you'll do it because she's just that great - like all will be forgiven and forgotten just so that you can get whatever crumbs she's willing to give you. Y'a, so she dumped you, treated you like dirt, admits that her heart wasn't into it, that she didn't appreciate the stuff you did (like sending notes, etc.) ... and then told you never to contact her again. NICE. But, you know, now she's lonely and wants someone to make her feel special again ... so she wants you to know that it's cool if you want to call her... cos, you know, she's misses feeling special and having someone put in an effort for her. But she doesn't actually want a relationship with you. Only the you making her feel special part. What the heck???? Obviously she thinks that you'll jump at the chance. She must think she's pretty darn great. What exactly does she think you're getting out of this arrangement? You get to talk to her and make her feel special??? Is that your "prize" - the honor and priviledge of making her feel better after she's made you feel like crap?? OMG - and then the part about people not understanding why you were together??? Is she serious?? Obviously that means "my friends/family never understood why I was with YOU" -- gee, I bet that made you feel pretty special. Again, I guess she figures you'll just be grateful for whatever you can get from her! Good Lord - she's something else. Now I'm seriously wondering why she can't just let you be. You are not a play thing that she can discard when she feels like it and then pick up again when she feels like it. Like i said in your last thread - too bad for her if she misses you and misses having someone to care about her and make her feel special. If she didn't and doesn't want a reciprocal relationship with you where she also makes you feel special and cared for ... then she has NO right be contacting you because she misses things. Seems to me like she still doesn't want to actually be with you, but she wants all the benefits. Selfish, selfish, selfish. Oh, Eric, find someone who deserves what you have to offer and is willing to offer you something in return.
    hey thank you wow, thats good advice, i totally knew this was goin to happen, and i know i came off as a crazy obsessed man but as facts have come out, its all about her, you know and its sad, i agree with everything you say, and its terrible, But there is nothing for me, and i dont want anything from her, i dont want a friendship i dont want a relationship, the love is gone, the trust is gone, the feelings are gone, everything is gone and its sad to say, i did mention 3 reasons to why, i dont want anything to do with her in a previous post, and thats how its going to be, she was very hurtful i mean, that time i went down there, and she couldnt see me, and the whole leading up to her giving me my closure, rememember i was like does she love me, does she really want to end it, i couldnt even sleep, now she is feeling what i felt. I dont hate her, when i talk about her i still tell people she is a sweet girl, and means well just has a few problems that i truly dont want to take on, even if she was to seek help, i have gone 1 month like i said no contact and i have no problem doing that.. About the people not understanding our relationship i think she met that only her and i knew what was going on and we had a understanding, where everybody else was clueless and thought our relationship was messed up, when i guess her and i didnt think that, thats how i interperted that, but i dont really know... The situation is just truly sad, but thats life, you get kicked in the balls you need to get back up....... But thanks for the advice, its tough, everybody is starting to agree with me....... Kinda like when i was dating her, the whole family thought it was me. now after the facts they are like wow thats all natasha, and i thought it was your fault of her unhappiness oh well!

     
    Old 12-13-2007, 09:17 AM   #6
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by amy2705 View Post
    She's selfish and self-centered. You know something, Eric? When you first started posting I thought to myself "she's been SO clear that she wants to end things and wants him to leave her alone. Why can't he just let her be." I really thought that it was you who was a bit confused. But I've changed my mind - BIG TIME! This girl is playing head games. No wonder you were confused! What she is doing is just plain unacceptable and totally unfair. She pushes you away and then pulls you back. She doesn't want to be with you, but she wants to know that you still care. She wants you to forgive her but she doesn't ever ONCE say why you should or how she'll make it up to you. Sure, maybe she's sorry or whatever ... but what's in it for you NOW?? Why on earth would you want to open that door again??? Apparently, she's self-centered enough to think that you'll do it because she's just that great - like all will be forgiven and forgotten just so that you can get whatever crumbs she's willing to give you. Y'a, so she dumped you, treated you like dirt, admits that her heart wasn't into it, that she didn't appreciate the stuff you did (like sending notes, etc.) ... and then told you never to contact her again. NICE. But, you know, now she's lonely and wants someone to make her feel special again ... so she wants you to know that it's cool if you want to call her... cos, you know, she's misses feeling special and having someone put in an effort for her. But she doesn't actually want a relationship with you. Only the you making her feel special part. What the heck???? Obviously she thinks that you'll jump at the chance. She must think she's pretty darn great. What exactly does she think you're getting out of this arrangement? You get to talk to her and make her feel special??? Is that your "prize" - the honor and priviledge of making her feel better after she's made you feel like crap?? OMG - and then the part about people not understanding why you were together??? Is she serious?? Obviously that means "my friends/family never understood why I was with YOU" -- gee, I bet that made you feel pretty special. Again, I guess she figures you'll just be grateful for whatever you can get from her! Good Lord - she's something else. Now I'm seriously wondering why she can't just let you be. You are not a play thing that she can discard when she feels like it and then pick up again when she feels like it. Like i said in your last thread - too bad for her if she misses you and misses having someone to care about her and make her feel special. If she didn't and doesn't want a reciprocal relationship with you where she also makes you feel special and cared for ... then she has NO right be contacting you because she misses things. Seems to me like she still doesn't want to actually be with you, but she wants all the benefits. Selfish, selfish, selfish. Oh, Eric, find someone who deserves what you have to offer and is willing to offer you something in return.
    LOL!!! I'm sorry, but this whole post just made me laugh because it is sooooooooooo true!

    Listen to everything amy2705 is saying here. She is only using you and your feelings for her to stroke her ego until she finds a replacement. When that replacement comes along she will dump you again in a heartbeat. I hate people like this who care more about their own selfish needs then the feelings of those they are using to make themselves feel good. Shame on her.

    Stay strong eric. Block her email address so you won't be subjected to this anymore. You clearly deserve a heck of a lot better than this!

     
    Old 12-13-2007, 03:10 PM   #7
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by happymom28 View Post
    LOL!!! I'm sorry, but this whole post just made me laugh because it is sooooooooooo true!

    Listen to everything amy2705 is saying here. She is only using you and your feelings for her to stroke her ego until she finds a replacement. When that replacement comes along she will dump you again in a heartbeat. I hate people like this who care more about their own selfish needs then the feelings of those they are using to make themselves feel good. Shame on her.

    Stay strong eric. Block her email address so you won't be subjected to this anymore. You clearly deserve a heck of a lot better than this!
    hey thanks i do too, but people do make mistakes, but my mother seems to think she might want to try it all over again, but i cant do that, she is a sweet girl means well, but gosh i cant do it and like i mentioned before 3 big reasons her unhappiness, her parents not supporting her the way she needs to be and her friends suck those are 3 reasons, and i dont want to be mean or hurtful, thats how i feel, i might email her after the holidays and tell her that! maybe!

     
    Old 12-14-2007, 09:19 AM   #8
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Hi Eric,,

    The other posters may not agree with me but....and please don't shoot me down. She may have very well been confused....and really needed time and now realizes it was a mistake or maybe she really is or was confused and felt as though the walls were closing in. In relationships...somtimes a break is needed. I am not sure what her deal is...she also might be playing head games as said...you know her best. Go with your gut you know best.

    How long had the bad times been going on eric? Sometimes people don't know wht they want, honestly.......

    What exactly did she say to you when she wanted it done? What were the excuses? I don't remember....pls. fill me in briefly.

    Good luck. I am not sure what your feelings are for her....I was always told to follow my heart.............what do you feel Eric? Is it over? Done? If so, then don't respond.

     
    Old 12-14-2007, 09:44 AM   #9
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Quote:
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    Hi Eric,,

    The other posters may not agree with me but....and please don't shoot me down. She may have very well been confused....and really needed time and now realizes it was a mistake or maybe she really is or was confused and felt as though the walls were closing in. In relationships...somtimes a break is needed. I am not sure what her deal is...she also might be playing head games as said...you know her best. Go with your gut you know best.

    How long had the bad times been going on eric? Sometimes people don't know wht they want, honestly.......

    What exactly did she say to you when she wanted it done? What were the excuses? I don't remember....pls. fill me in briefly.

    Good luck. I am not sure what your feelings are for her....I was always told to follow my heart.............what do you feel Eric? Is it over? Done? If so, then don't respond.
    hey thanks, i know sometimes people realize it late, um, she never gave me a reason to why, she wanted to end it other than saying ''i just dont think it will work out'' thats pretty much it.. I would say its gone down hill for about a year, as you remember she was living here in massachusetts teaching, and ended up going home in december, Then i fly to pittsburgh in March, and we started dating again, so i moved down there in may, and we broke up in Aug, i guess we really didnt think about things, an rushed into the relationship, but how can she have an on and off switch of loving me, then the next minute not loving me, thats what scares me, yes she might want me back today but in 3 months, she going to not love me, you know you cant have an off and on switch with love, you either love them or you dont.. I dont plan on emailing her till the new year, Im just guna ask her what she wants out of me, a friendship, try and work on a relationship, work on communication, do you want contact or cut it off, just so i know, i plan on letting her know that im thinking about cutting it off 100% . i know it might sound mean, but i think its in the best interest, um, she is a great girl means well, and saddened its come to this, but thats life, i still respect her and care for her, and wish her well, you know............. thanks for the help!

     
    Old 12-14-2007, 09:46 AM   #10
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dma11663 View Post
    She may have very well been confused....and really needed time and now realizes it was a mistake or maybe she really is or was confused and felt as though the walls were closing in. In relationships...somtimes a break is needed. I am not sure what her deal is...she also might be playing head games as said...you know her best. Go with your gut you know best.
    That is also a possibility dma11663. The only problem with that (as I see it anyway) is that if that is the case then she went about it the wrong way. I mean, she even had her mother tell him to leave her alone! If she just needed some time and space then why not just be an adult and say so?

    People do make mistakes eric, and you obviously know her better than all of us. You have to make your own decisions based on the information you have. I just hope that if, somewhere in the future, you decide to give her another chance, she knows how lucky she is to get it. After the way she handled things I don't know many people who would be willing to even deal with her on a "cordial" level.

     
    Old 12-14-2007, 12:11 PM   #11
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Quote:
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    That is also a possibility dma11663. The only problem with that (as I see it anyway) is that if that is the case then she went about it the wrong way. I mean, she even had her mother tell him to leave her alone! If she just needed some time and space then why not just be an adult and say so?

    People do make mistakes eric, and you obviously know her better than all of us. You have to make your own decisions based on the information you have. I just hope that if, somewhere in the future, you decide to give her another chance, she knows how lucky she is to get it. After the way she handled things I don't know many people who would be willing to even deal with her on a "cordial" level.
    hey, thanks, no i understand very much, and agree, But when i got that letter from her Mother i took it as leave her alone for ''now'' not meaning forever, but i think she did realize she has messed up handling the situation as well as allowing other people in on our relationship, and i truly believe everything she has said, She did come off a heartless b!tch, and for her to not see me while i was down there that said alot, I have no intentions on bothering her till after the holidays but im going to be respectful and nice, and just tell her I dont think it will work out because of the reasons i have mentioned about her happiness family and friends, Like i said she gets thoughts in her head and runs with it without thinking about it you know what i mean, today she wants to be with me, and 3 months she might not want to be because she gets that thought, its scary, it truly is. I mean if we never dated and were friends, i think she would make a sweet friend, she means well and is a very polite person, and i respect her alot, and admire that, but she cant handle crunch pressure very well, and i dont want to have a friendship with her, i truly dont, not right now,.. you all know the situation from day 1... So we'lll see, i told most of you she is confused most of you said it was over 100% no contact and i knew she would contact me oh well, she emailed me on her new email address and her new cell phone, but the problem i have she is trying to control ,me ok leave me alone for good, then its like ok you can talk to me now,. im sure some of it is she misses me and some of it, wants to know whats going on with my life. oh well thanks soooo much i do appreciate the thoughts, alot of good people on these boards!

     
    Old 12-14-2007, 12:48 PM   #12
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Eric,

    Do you love her still? Are you in love with her?

     
    Old 12-14-2007, 01:47 PM   #13
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Quote:
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    Eric,

    Do you love her still? Are you in love with her?
    i truly dont believe i love her anymore, like i said when i think about her i dont have any feelings or love or sadness or happy its just a mutual thing i guess, you know what i mean, Not to say we could never build it up, but i just dont want that, right now, and i have given reasons to why i dont think a friendship or a relationship would work, she is the one that ended it without any reason, and i just cant trust her, and its sad, but thats life, i dont even know what i would do if i saw her ! we all know thats not going to happen she is far away!

     
    Old 12-14-2007, 02:17 PM   #14
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    Eric,

    I think it is better that you are far away, it is easier for you to deal with what you are feeling either way. I know this for a fact.

    Eric....I am dealing with a neighbor issue still. I see him a lot and it is harder and harder when you have what you believe are feelings for someone that doesn't want to be with you. I also have an ex fiancee who appraently loves me and we are speaking but we're not back together. I don't see him, he lives not near me (not far either, like 30 min drive) but we don't see ech other. I am not sure what I feel for him but my choice if I follow my head for a secure future...would be him. He would see me through to the end. However, I dated someone for 2 months who I had the best time with...easy conversation and a lot of attraction. I don't know why.....I feel something for him. We hit a bump in the road...not really a big argument.....he took off....he is my neighbor. I tried after 1month to talk with him....and smooth things over.....we are friendly but he obviously doesn't want me or he would be up my butt. How come I can't forget him? I don't know Eric.....you are far from her..that is best. Out of sight...out of mind. It is best for the one that cared. Sometimes people need space...sometimes they lie to us....and tell us lies to get out of a relationship w/o an argument. You had no contact with your ex for about 1 month and she called? I told you she would.

    Search your heart and soul. If you feel you are better w/o her...then so be it. Be honest with her though...don't string her along. That's niot right.

    This neighbor of mine up until last Saturday is telling me he doesn't know about us...not sure, etc. That gives me a glimmer of hope where there probably isn't any and he may not honestly be telling me the truth not to hurt me...he knows how senstive I am. I see him and he is all smiling going about his business...like I am nothing and meant nothing. I am sick over it.....

    Do you best no matter what you choose to do.

    Are you dating yet? How long has it been?

     
    Old 12-14-2007, 02:20 PM   #15
    dma11663
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    Re: What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again!

    one more thing to add to my post before this.

    I believe that any relationship or friendship is built on trust. That is the foundation. If and when you speak to her tell her that she broke your trust and it is very hard for you to get that back. How do you build that up? Trust is the foundation for any relationship............................ I swear...that is exactly how i feel with my neighbor.

     
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