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    Old 04-02-2008, 11:09 AM   #1
    amber81472
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    Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    Please help me! My live-in boyfriend of 2 years and I got in a huge fight and now he wants to break up. Largely, it was almost all my fault because I have some insecurities, low self esteem issues in which I am working on. And I have severe Fear of Abandoment issues. I tried apologizing in a letter to him but he doesn't respond. I am currently seeing a therapist but it is just not helping! I feel panicked, extremely anxious, desperate and most of all, very, very depressed. My doc put me on Wellbrutin but it's not working. I think they are going to fire me at work because I keep calling out. I haven't eaten for about 26 hours, and I sleep in 2 hour intervals at night. I just wish I would die of a heart attack or something. Also, I can't stop CRYING. What else can I do to make him come back? HELP ME!!! Is there another type of medicine that I can take? I almost want to go to the streets and try some illegal drugs just to take the pain away! I hate my life and myself!!

     
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    Old 04-02-2008, 11:44 AM   #2
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    Oh goodness...Dont turn to drugs and don't wish yourself harm. I am actually hoping you could give me some more info...your ages? What it was about your insecurities that caused this break up? Was there ANY cheating or ANY lying???

    My ex and I broke up 5 months ago...together almost 3 years, lived together for 2. I am 25, he is almost 30...I loved him with all my heart. We actually tried a second chance the past 2 weeks but alas, we did not work and I broke it off last night. It is really hard and I remember how I felt 5 months ago but it all gets better. I promise!!!!!!!

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 11:52 AM   #3
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    Im 35, he is 29. I am in a professional job now but my childhood was horrible. I grew up in several foster homes and experienced all the abuses that you can think of and those that you don't want to think of. Yes, I am seeing a therapist. Is there anything else my doc can prescribe to me so that I can go on with some sembalence of my life? I'm surprised that there are still tears coming from my eyes. I can't believe that I can cry that much and not be thirsty...

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 12:23 PM   #4
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    I feel so horrible for you. I am sure there is something your doc can prescribe, unfortunately you will have to talk to him or her about that though. I dont know much about medications. I am on Celexa myself for anxiety but I dont think that is what you are in need of.

    It is good you are in therapy and I am so sorry for your childhood, nobody deserves what you went though. Now you are an adult and it is time (as you know) to make your experiences give you strength. We cant change our pasts, we only have control over our futures.

    As for your ex, Let it be. Maybe he will come around, maybe he wont. Give yourself a bit more time to be sad, but then focus on you and try not to lose your job in the mean time. I know it is soooo hard! But we are all we have!

    My my space quote is "Expect nothing but what you can do for yourself." I dont think it is a famous quote, but it is something that helps me.

    Last edited by ash519; 04-02-2008 at 12:24 PM.

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 01:09 PM   #5
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    {{{hugs}}}

    I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. But please don't turn to drugs to solve your problems. You are a much stronger person than you give yourself credit for.

    You said you were in therapy and that is a great thing. I'm sure your therapist could prescribe you something if you are having trouble coping, but I am in no position to give advice on medications. I honestly think the best thing you can do for yourself right now is let your boyfriend go and continue with therapy. Work through everything you need to and learn to love yourself. If you and your boyfriend are meant to be it will happen one day when you are ready. If not, well, there are plenty of other men out there. But right now you need to focus on you.

    Hang in there amber81472. You will get through this and with the help of your therapist you will be much stronger person.

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 01:15 PM   #6
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    You need to see your doctor as soon as possible. I think he/ she will prescribe sleeping pills/ anti depressants.

    If it helps, print off this page, and show your doctor. Sometimes it is not easy to talk face to face.

    Also, I think it would be a good idea to get a doctor's note and show your employer, so you don't have trouble at work.

    Please do this as soon as you can then you can start to regain some kind of control over your life.

    We've all been there. Bad break up. Feel like you're losing it. We've all been there and it does get better with time.

    Your first step forward now is to see your doctor as soon as possible.

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 04:20 PM   #7
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    I think what a lot of people seem to forget, (including me) is that when we're ****** off/angry we tend to say things we don't mean, and actually mean the mean things we said- because we're mad at that moment. And when we're done being angry, we calm down and start to think rationally.. and tend to not think those mean things anymore. Example- i'll be ****** off at my bf and maybe having thoughts of breaking up, but when i'm done being mad I want to make up with him and sort things out.

    Don't jump the gun and think "Ohh we're over".. let him cool down. And take a deep breath sweetie! Everything is going to be okay. And if for some reason he DOES indeed want to go through with breaking up, then you need to know that it will hurt, but life does move on. I know those are thoughts you don't want to do, but it goes with the territory of life. We all have to endure it at least once.

    At least you are seeing a therapist for your insecurities. That's a wonderful thing to do.

    And please don't go to street drugs, they will only add to the troubles you are going through... and the less problems the better, right?

    I also don't want your job firing you for calling in.. so get a doctors note.. and if you can't sleep try Melatonin tablets before getting any sleepings pills from the Dr. and ask a pharmacist the proper amount of Melatonin to take for beginners..

    Everything will be okay. It always does end up okay even when we think the world is falling down on us. Don't sit around drowning in your tears..
    Have friends come over to keep you company or go shopping- do something that you enjoy..

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 08:07 PM   #8
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    I just read this. My heart goes out to you. I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but life will be okay. He may come around and come back. If he does not, you need time to heal. breakups (and fights) are hard. They hurt. But, I've been badly hurt by relationships once or twice myself. I know you will make it. In fact, my boyfriend of six years just walked out on me. That is what I'm doing on this forum. For myself, I've decided to let go. Part of me wants to pick up the phone and give him a call, but the logical part of me knows that is a very bad idea.

    Hang in there. Your life will get better no matter what he does. If he comes back you will be happy for that. If he does not you will hurt for a while but then the fog will lift and happiness will take over once again. I've been through it before so I do know how horrible you feel. I know your confused, scared, hurt with emotions swirling in every direction right now. Cling to your friends, your therapist, this forum, a good book,... anything that makes you feel better and distracts you a bit. You will stop crying and you will be happy again.

     
    Old 04-02-2008, 08:32 PM   #9
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    How long have you been going to therapy? If it is recent, change takes time. Also, if you just started taking Wellbutrin, that usually takes a few weeks to kick in.

    What are the specifics about the situation? I'm sure we could help you out a lot better if we know. I know this is a tough time for you to be going through. Your issues can definitely be worked through with a qualified psychologist. Tell us more!
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    Old 04-02-2008, 09:49 PM   #10
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    Your doctor can put you on disability if he/she feels you are depressed. My doctor put me out on disability for a "depressed episode" after the guy I was dating dumped me while I was in the hospital for one of my friends without telling me. And the note did not show the diagnosis, it just said I was unable to work for a month. I then saw a therapist and was able to work through the depression without medication. However, medication is great if it is called for! Please try to get this done as I'm fearful for you since you sound like you might be extremely depressed. I got through it, I sincerely hope you will find a way too!

     
    Old 04-03-2008, 05:07 PM   #11
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    I think that you need to take your mind away from your boyfriend until he cools down. Do things that make you happy, go out with friends and keep yourself occupied. Try your best to keep yourself happy and please don't listen to slow depressing music. I think I can relate to you in some ways, I also have abandonment issues due to my childhood, I have anxiety and depression issues, when my boyfriend gets mad he walks away and doesn't talk to me or call me for days. I keep myself busy, alot of times I cry. Just try to forget about him for a while until you feel like it's ok to try to talk to him again.

     
    Old 04-03-2008, 07:26 PM   #12
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    You won't sleep if you don't eat. Eat, only if it's small amounts, even if you hate the thought of it.

    Maybe you need some medication for the short term, a tranquilliser just to numb you for a few days to take away your desperation. You might also need antidepressants but they take a while to kick in and so might not be enough for the present.

    You feel bad now but you won't feel this bad for ever. Don't give up.

     
    Old 04-03-2008, 08:38 PM   #13
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    Thumbs up Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    Amber

    I am so sorry you are devastated and can't function. I agree with some of the others it would be a good idea to see your dr. My prayers are with Amber. Time will help you heal.

    Hugs Nadine

     
    Old 04-04-2008, 07:25 AM   #14
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    Are you seeing a psyciatrist or just a regular MD? You should see a psyciatrist.

    My experience with depression wasn't nearly as bad as what you are going through but my doctor placed me on several different medication combinations before finding the right mix. Now I take trazadone and lexapro. For a while I was also taking welbutrin in the morning. It sounds like you probably also need an anxiety med.

    Have you seen your doctor again yet?

     
    Old 04-07-2008, 10:02 AM   #15
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    Re: Completely Devastated and Can't Function At ALL!!!

    everyone has had a relationship end at some point. it's not the end of the world, you will get through it. You're a strong woman.....don't EVER let someone have so much power over you that they can devastate you......
    and i don't think disability is the answer.....you need to pick yourself up and move on and being on disability is just going to prolong your depression.

     
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