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happyinmyshoes 08-10-2008 11:10 PM

Re: won't commit but upset about other guys.

I’m in the exact same situation. It’s been 5 months… from day dot we’ve been exclusive – there’s been no one else. If it was upto me, yes we’d be together – NOW. But it takes two to tango and he’s simply not ready to commit.

We say “I’m yours and you’re mine”, he stays at mine often and we’re completely into eachother. But for whatever reason in side the boy’s head – he’s not ready to commit. Their his own reasons, not mine. But I’m enjoying it while it lasts and making the most out of the times we share together. And please don’t get me wrong… I’m not a push over, he’s not secretly seeing anyone behind my back. He’s just not ready to label what we are and at the end of the day to call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend is only a label. Why should it matter to the world what you are when you know when you’re with that person you are their’s? We’re great friends with each other’s friends. We host dinner parties and our families both know eachother… in everyone’s eyes we are together. But to us it’s just not ‘official’.

Even if we were together; just because you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend doesn’t mean they’re more likely to not cheat because that doesn’t matter. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen.

We’re now looking for a place together. He’s asked me to move in with him! And when I questioned him on this, whether it only because it was convenient for him he brought up that I should know what’s in his heart and he wouldn’t have asked me unless he truly meant it.

So hang in there. Just because he’s not ready to commit doesn’t mean he’s not willing to give it a go.

Trust me, at first this was a massive issue I had. And some days I still do find it an issue. For someone to not want to commit to you hits a pang inside and makes you feel rejected. As I said, I’ve got good days and I’ve got back – but at the end I’ve still got him. He is amazing! And today, it doesn’t bother me that we’re not together (because I know there’s others like yourself experiencing the same thing!).

Enjoy yourself with him. If it’s not meant to be, things will dissolve.
Be patient. Good things come to those that wait.

I’m one of those people that think and think and think. And this situation I’ve been in the past 5 months has put my thinking cap in overdrive! I’ve used tarot cards (my friends here at work) to help me through some of my mental blocks about him and us; just to give me some sort of guidance for that day. And often enough a couple days later I find myself asking the cards the same question! But it does help. Another thing, I bet you’re a Capricorn…

Good Luck and stay hopeful.

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