It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • Petty Jealousy

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 06-06-2008, 04:23 PM   #1
    BluEyez1031
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    BluEyez1031's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 349
    BluEyez1031 HB User
    Petty Jealousy

    Hello everyone,

    I've been dating a wonderful man for about 3 1/2 years now, and for the most part our relationship is amazing. For the past year we have been long distance, and while I got over any major jealousy issues rather quickly, oddly I've had trouble with some smaller ones. The distance has been hard, and it's given me some new issues to deal with. Every few months or so I tend to have what I call a "petty jealousy" issue. I trust my boyfriend, but I get nervous about other women. Not that HE would be initiating anything, but that they would. The main culprit here seems to be sites that he and I belong to that allow you to keep in touch with friends (whoops, I forgot it was against the rules to post the names hehe). I'll see a comment that I interpret as flirty from a female friend of his, and I'll get jealous. Or, for example, today I saw a comment from a girl I thought I recognized, and I clicked on her profile. I saw a message my boyfriend had left her about meeting up for lunch one day, and I got a bit upset. I interrogated him about it, and it turns out she's interested in working for the same company that he is, and they were going to meet up to talk about it. They had been lab partners in a few classes in college (I think I'd even met her before). She also has a boyfriend.

    I HATE getting jealous and being petty...I don't want to be that kind of woman. When I get jealous, I feel like I'm not in control of myself. Do any of you have any tips on how to remind myself not to allow petty emotions to take control of me? I'm even considering buying myself some sort of piece of jewelry to wear as a reminder until I've learned to just stop.

    Last edited by BluEyez1031; 06-06-2008 at 04:25 PM.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 06-06-2008, 05:23 PM   #2
    Robyn222
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    Robyn222's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2008
    Location: Portland, Or USA
    Posts: 11
    Robyn222 HB User
    Re: Petty Jealousy

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BluEyez1031 View Post
    Hello everyone,

    I've been dating a wonderful man for about 3 1/2 years now, and for the most part our relationship is amazing. For the past year we have been long distance, and while I got over any major jealousy issues rather quickly, oddly I've had trouble with some smaller ones. The distance has been hard, and it's given me some new issues to deal with. Every few months or so I tend to have what I call a "petty jealousy" issue. I trust my boyfriend, but I get nervous about other women. Not that HE would be initiating anything, but that they would. The main culprit here seems to be sites that he and I belong to that allow you to keep in touch with friends (whoops, I forgot it was against the rules to post the names hehe). I'll see a comment that I interpret as flirty from a female friend of his, and I'll get jealous. Or, for example, today I saw a comment from a girl I thought I recognized, and I clicked on her profile. I saw a message my boyfriend had left her about meeting up for lunch one day, and I got a bit upset. I interrogated him about it, and it turns out she's interested in working for the same company that he is, and they were going to meet up to talk about it. They had been lab partners in a few classes in college (I think I'd even met her before). She also has a boyfriend.

    I HATE getting jealous and being petty...I don't want to be that kind of woman. When I get jealous, I feel like I'm not in control of myself. Do any of you have any tips on how to remind myself not to allow petty emotions to take control of me? I'm even considering buying myself some sort of piece of jewelry to wear as a reminder until I've learned to just stop.

    You know I don't have a lot of advice. I would suggest NOT looking at who messages him etc. Don't go looking for things that will cause you to be obsessive. Many innocent things can look threatening when you don't know all of the details. The other factor may simply be that you are not someone who does well with a long distance relationship. This is nothing to be ashamed of or to apologize for. How long is this distance thing going to go on? Can you be together sooner rather than later? You may need to make decisions about this relationship (at least for now) based on what you can deal with. Maybe you will need to draw some boundaries with your boyfriend simply saying I am not the type of person who can deal with a long distance romance after x amount of time. You then may ask him "What if anything do you want or think we should do about it". Do NOT apologize for the way you are. If he makes you feel bad or inadequate some how--blow him a big kiss __OFF.

    Last edited by Robyn222; 06-06-2008 at 05:26 PM.

     
    Old 06-06-2008, 05:51 PM   #3
    BluEyez1031
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    BluEyez1031's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 349
    BluEyez1031 HB User
    Re: Petty Jealousy

    I've definitely thought a lot about the long distance thing, because it has been very hard. However, we were only long distance because he graduated college a year before me. I just graduated, and now we'll only be long distance until I can find a job close enough to him to move in together. However, I don't want this jealousy thing to be an issue at ALL until then.

    I think you're right about just forcing myself not to look at the comments for a while, until I can learn to deal with jealous feelings.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Overcoming jealousy of gf's past OTbass Relationship Health 12 12-31-2008 09:39 AM
    Jealousy...Selfishness...Depression??? Eve-E Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 27 03-17-2008 11:33 PM
    Jealousy rears its head!! Please please take a moment to advise dkennedy2007 Relationship Health 23 06-07-2007 03:11 PM
    Serious jealousy/trust issues... need help (long) Batboy08 Relationship Health 6 10-27-2006 08:05 AM
    Jealousy and my insecurities hurting my relationship Mike76 Relationship Health 6 05-26-2005 08:24 AM
    Jealousy Joseph Orion Relationship Health 62 03-27-2004 04:10 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:26 PM.





    © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!