It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 08-05-2008, 08:23 AM   #1
    Italia 43
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Italia 43's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Location: Yonkers,newyork, usa
    Posts: 191
    Italia 43 HB User
    been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    hey HB!! I am a 24 year old woman.. I have been dating my bf for 6 years now.. We are Mormons, and part of this religion you cant have sexual relations until marriage.. I want to have kids and settle down.. Everytime i ask my bf to get married, he always blows me off and tells me he is going to fix our cars up.. Cars are materialistic to me. Being married enternally in heaven and obeying gods commandments is important to me.. Jewelery and clothes are materialistic.. dating someone 6 years is a long time that they should of popped the question already to you.. I hate that I like have to bother him to death to get married.. It seems like the whole marriage thingy is out of his head.. My bf is into games and cars and sports.. My bf is almost 25 in November.. Do saggatarius and Taurus's get along.. I am starting to see that they dont.. Anyone please help me.. I am so saddened by this whole situation..

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 08-05-2008, 08:31 AM   #2
    drs
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    drs's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2002
    Location: minn.
    Posts: 1,406
    drs HB Userdrs HB Userdrs HB Userdrs HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    Tell him what he wants and what you want are not the same things and you don't see a future with him. See if he back peddles and changes his mind. If he doesn't then I do believe it's time for a change.
    My opinion is why waste your life with someone who isn't in agreement with what you want for your future? Like I said, once you tell him it's over and your going to move on, he may realize what a precious person he has in his life and make some real grown up decisions.

    Last edited by drs; 08-05-2008 at 08:32 AM.

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 08:52 AM   #3
    Italia 43
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Italia 43's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Location: Yonkers,newyork, usa
    Posts: 191
    Italia 43 HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    I just called him right now and he hangs up on me.. I cant deal with it.. I need somebody there for me emotioanlly and will listen.. My bf is like a kid that never wants to grow up.. He is almost 25 and still lives with his mother. He has no career. Neither do I anyhow.. I still live with my dad too.. I deal with bipolar and i dont work.. I dont know if these reasons make him not want to marry me or just the whole marriage idea is not in his vocabulary..

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 08:53 AM   #4
    eavabug
    Member
    (female)
     
    eavabug's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Location: Eureka, California, United States
    Posts: 60
    eavabug HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    I've been with my boyfriend for over 8 years and am in the same situation that you find yourself in. At first this was devastating to me and we would have major fights about it. We tried going our separate ways but realized that we were miserable without each other. I had to make the decision on whether or not a piece of paper was going to keep me from being happy. He has his reason for not wanting to get married or have any more children and even though I donít understand them completely he is entitled to his feelings, wants, desires, and I have no right to demand that he change them. In the begining I grew to resent him and found myself picking fights for no reason besides that fact that I felt that he didn't want me as much as I wanted him.

    Of course I'm not religious so that had no bearings on my decision to live in sin. Its my personal feeling that you need to make yourself a list of what you want out of life i.e. marriage, kids, the white picket fence, and then really sit down with your man and ask him what he wants out of life. If youíre not on the same wave length then you need to move on.

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 08:55 AM   #5
    niknak77
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    niknak77's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2007
    Location: midwest, US
    Posts: 492
    niknak77 HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    Have you stopped to ask him why he doesn't want to get married? And really listened to what he said? 6 years is a long time to be dating at your age, you are both still pretty young. Maybe he just isn't ready, perhaps he would like to live out his youth a little longer, or perhaps it is something else. What about college and your careers? Have you both finished school? Have you started your careers? If not, maybe this is a factor.
    But then, like I said you are still fairly young, there is plenty of time to get married and start a family. Enjoy life for now, even if it doesn't include marriage and babies (yet) there is so much more to life, explore the world and don't rush into anything or force a guy into marriage, that will just guarantee you trouble.
    Good luck with whatever happens.

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 08:57 AM   #6
    eavabug
    Member
    (female)
     
    eavabug's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Location: Eureka, California, United States
    Posts: 60
    eavabug HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    awww now more of the story comes out. Maybe the two of you need a break from each other to work on yourselves. I know my man wouldn't stick with me if he felt that I was contributing to our relationship i.e working, personal issues in check, and so on. Good Luck

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 09:10 AM   #7
    Italia 43
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Italia 43's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Location: Yonkers,newyork, usa
    Posts: 191
    Italia 43 HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    My bf and I dont have careers. We graduated high school and have about 50-60 college credits under our belts.. We dont do drugs or smoke or drink ever. I dont work. My bf works as a bus driver for a camp. My bf has his commercial drivers license b.. i have my drivers license too.. we both have cars.. I am receiving disability money due to my whole mental illness. i Have applied for numerous jobs though, but no luck.. I have asked my bf why cant we get married tons of times.. he tells me because of our lack of careers.. I feel like regardless of career or not he will never ask me to get married.. We are both Mormons too, so having sexual relations is sinning in our religion..

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 09:12 AM   #8
    BeaTrade
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jan 2007
    Location: US
    Posts: 796
    BeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    It doesn't sound like either of you should be thinking about marriage. No careers, living with Dads...you two cannot possibly be thinking about marriage...y'all need get out on your own and understand what it is like to pay bills and take care of yourselves before thinking about getting married!
    __________________
    My posts are just my opinion only and are not of a professional nature.

    Last edited by BeaTrade; 08-05-2008 at 10:02 AM.

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 09:15 AM   #9
    drs
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    drs's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2002
    Location: minn.
    Posts: 1,406
    drs HB Userdrs HB Userdrs HB Userdrs HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    What did you go to college for? What was your major? Maybe you could go for something that would be a career that even with mental illness you could do. Something in a counseling field for this type of problem. Are you too sick to go back and finish up with your studies? I'm thinking that if you not working is his major thing for not getting married then finish with your college and find a field that is suited best for you. Just a thought.

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 09:16 AM   #10
    drs
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    drs's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2002
    Location: minn.
    Posts: 1,406
    drs HB Userdrs HB Userdrs HB Userdrs HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    Bea Trade, maybe there is some truth to what you said, but you could of said it in a kinder way.

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 09:19 AM   #11
    Italia 43
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Italia 43's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Location: Yonkers,newyork, usa
    Posts: 191
    Italia 43 HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    drs i chose social work as my career and my major in college.. It has been my dream to become a social worker. I have lived a dysfunctional childhood of physical and emotional abuse.. My bf wanted to do radiology, but they never accepted him into the program. My bf had enough credits to enter, but once my bf went to the radiology interview the chairperson didn't like his lack of enthusiasm for a career in radiology.. For me i love social work. My mental illness is not the only thing from stopping me.. i have other health issues that prevent me from going to college..

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 09:21 AM   #12
    Italia 43
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Italia 43's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Location: Yonkers,newyork, usa
    Posts: 191
    Italia 43 HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    yes that was very unkindly to say we need to grow up.. there are people worse then us, that use drugs and have no life or jobs.. Please think before you insult someone's feelings..

    Last edited by Italia 43; 08-05-2008 at 09:26 AM.

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 09:23 AM   #13
    Italia 43
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Italia 43's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Location: Yonkers,newyork, usa
    Posts: 191
    Italia 43 HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    thanks for everyone's advice

    Last edited by Italia 43; 08-05-2008 at 09:25 AM.

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 09:56 AM   #14
    BeaTrade
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jan 2007
    Location: US
    Posts: 796
    BeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    Sorry if I'm being brutally blunt but it takes a whole heck of a lot of money to live and if you aren't working and he does not have a decent job, how in the heck can you even think of getting married? Were you planning on living with one of your Dad's? I agree with your BF, you are not ready to be married because of no careers. If you have so many medical problems...you can add that to the list of all the normal expenses a young married couple has to face.
    __________________
    My posts are just my opinion only and are not of a professional nature.

     
    Old 08-05-2008, 09:59 AM   #15
    Mileena42
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Mileena42's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2005
    Location: Alabama
    Posts: 778
    Mileena42 HB User
    Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

    Sometimes you have to be blunt or people don't get it. Why did your boyfriend hang up on you? Wouldn't you see that as being too blunt?

    Mileena

    Last edited by Mileena42; 08-05-2008 at 10:00 AM.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    A personal question ive been struggling with... Longview Relationship Health 12 08-03-2007 02:25 PM
    My mom has been dead 5 months and my dad has already got women on his mind blanche235 Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 20 05-23-2007 04:59 PM
    HELP! Pregnant & want to break up mizvespa Relationship Health 7 12-26-2005 02:52 PM
    too fast? Dating someone thats been a friend dewdrop333 Relationship Health 11 09-22-2005 01:37 PM
    Degenerative Discs & Pain Management goody2shuz Back Problems 357 08-16-2005 05:36 PM
    I've never been in love with my wife FortzaT Relationship Health 10 05-31-2005 11:04 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:57 PM.





    © 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!