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Is it possible...

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Old 08-28-2008, 12:07 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: AL
Posts: 372
tlhalabama HB User
Is it possible...

Is it possible to be in a relationship so long that the two of you become like friends, roommates, brother-sister?

As you may remember from some of my other posts, my dh and I do not have the best relationship. Some of the things I have previously talked about have gotten better. He no longer seems to be dealing with the emotional affair issue or wishing he made other choices and for that, I am thankful.

The reason I asked the above question is because that is exactly how our relationship feels now. We rarely talk about real stuff unless he's drinking and then the conversation is not very pleasing to me or about me. The weather and the kids are the only true topics we discuss.

The other night, he told me he wanted to run away but did not want to dishonor me. What does that mean? When I asked him about it the next day, he said he didn't mean anything by that. I quickly told him that he could be a free as he wanted to be but what little sex we have now would definately dwindle down to zero.

He is a very depressed man and will not seek the proper help needed in order to get better. I have tried talking to him about it, but he says it's the economy and things like that and he doesn't need meds to fix that.

I am wanting to plan a trip sometime this fall as we have not had a real vacation together is a very long time. I think we need the break and change of scenary. He will not commit and without his help financially, I can not do this alone.

I love him very much but sometimes imagine how my life may be if he were to just move on and find somebody who can fulfill all his expectations in life.

Where are we headed and is there any hope? Do I even want to try?

These are basically the questions I am asking myself and would appreaciate any feed back from any of you that have expereinced something similar.

Last edited by tlhalabama; 08-28-2008 at 12:10 PM. Reason: missed a word

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Old 08-28-2008, 01:07 PM   #2
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Re: Is it possible...

Well, it takes two to make any relationship work for both parties. If your hsuband refuses to do his part, then I don't see much hope of anything really changing unless YOU change it, and it seems the only thing left to do in that regard is to leave. Can it "work?" Well, is it working now? You can't control someone else's behavior or make them want to get up and fight for or work toward something they just don't want to. It can "work" if you resign yourself to living the rest of your life the way you are living now and find a way to cope. I personally really couldn't recommend that, though. I personally feel life is short, too short to be with someone whose company you don't fully enjoy and feel energized and lifted up by. Alone sucks, but bad company is worse.

It's really up to you. I think your life most certainly can work if you have the strength, courage and will to go out and make it work. Can it work WITH HIM? That's another story.

Old 08-28-2008, 08:14 PM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Alabama
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Mileena42 HB User
Re: Is it possible...

I agree that you have to decide if you want to make the effort here. It's going to be long and a lot of work and then as LarryLou says it all depends on IF he is willing to do anything to help out. ALL the effort you put forth and work for is going to be for nothing if you are in the end, doing it alone.


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