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  • i feel like life is passing me by....

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    Old 09-25-2008, 11:50 AM   #1
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    i feel like life is passing me by....

    my hubby and i have been together almost 8 yrs, 2 of those married. ever since we got married, he acts like we are old fogies. i used to be an energetic person, swimming, hiking, conoeing, you name it. i used to be able to occasionally get him out to do things. however in the last 2 yrs i havent gone to the river, the lake...nothing. im a tomboy also. all my friends were guys, i had 2 friends that were girls, we occasionally get together. im not a city person, too much for me. i came to the city to finish school. i didnt expect to meet anyone. im very happy i met my husband. he is a very good provider. very loving person. however he bores the crap out me. im lonely, im bored and depressed. im 40lbs overweight now. im sluggish and dont have any energy. i did not get married to go EVERYWHERE without him. i want to cry constantly. our sex life is one sided. whatever pleases him he wants, but if i want to switch things up, he turns me down. im frustrated and lonely, depressed, bored and i have become short tempered. I have tried to come to a compramise about moving, close to the city ( to where he would have a less than 30 min drive to work), its a no go.the houses i have found are less than this house. i have tried to recomend a bigger lot in the city, its a no go. the house we live in is falling apart. he bought it before we met. the baseboards are rotting, the linoleum is coiming up, the carpet is stained to hell, the cabnets are rotting,one fell from the wall, one of the walls came up from the floor. i had to tear the carpet out of our daughters room because one of the pipes under the slab was making the concrete sweat and developing mold and making her sick. since the capet was taken out we haventhad that problem any more.the pipes on the out side of the house break 3 or 4 times a year, cha *****! all the faucets are dripping. he refuses to fix any of the problems. the plugs spark when you plug things in and unlplug them. he says its too much work. and i cant even decorate the house. it still looks like a bachelor pad. all i want to do is paint , keep the gameroom,and sports memorabilia. but i would like to put up pictures of us and fix up some of this stuff. i want to leave, but i feel as tho i am being petty. we dont talk, unless its about something on tv....boring, i hate tv. id rather be doing something constructive. i look at my children and all they do is watch tv, play video games. i cant even get them outside. This is affecting every part of ourlives. i feel as tho i was lied to. when we met he said that he liked doing the outdoor thing. i dont know, i dont know what to do. all i want to do is cry. everyday i wake up and its the same old routine. i need to do something with myself. i didnt grow up like this! everyone chipped in, we all did something outside. i hate touristy stuff. and thats what this city is. i need out. i ahve already told him i dont want to spend my life on a couch watching tv. and what bothers me is that he doesnt say a thing.

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    Old 09-25-2008, 12:45 PM   #2
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    Re: i feel like life is passing me by....

    I guess you have two choices and neither will be with your husband because he has made it clear he doesn't want to do anything physical and although you say you didn't get married to do stuff by yourself yet you have been by yourself for years. So...take the kids and leave OR start doing and going places with the the gym or hiking or to the swimming pool. If they don't know how to swim then teach them or have them take swimming lessons...make this activity mandatory for the kids whether they want to or not they go and eventually they will enjoy it. Maybe they want to take one friend along whatever it takes but at least one parent will be involved in the kids life and teaching the kids what they should be doing. Another idea...If you don't belong to a church then find one that has a lot of kid activities and join...there is always something going on for kids and adults at the more progressive ones. I guess you have a third option and that is not to do anything at all. You are stuck with a man who isn't interested in life but you can't blame him for you not doing anything...get busy. and good luck.

    Old 09-25-2008, 02:23 PM   #3
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    Re: i feel like life is passing me by....

    Perhaps your husband is depressed. Sounds like he may be....Try marriage counseling. He will have no place to run and you can start communicating.

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