It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Mama's boy

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-05-2008, 01:34 PM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: plymouth meeting, PA USA
Posts: 1
brooke8636 HB User
Mama's boy

This past May my daughter finally met the guy she's known for 2-1/2 yrs. but only as a phone or email pal. They originally met because he was her student loan counsler. He lives a 6 hr. drive away. After meeting in May, he flew down to vacation with us all at the seashore for 5 days. Then she flew up to his parents home (he is 38, divorced, no kids and lives at home with his parents) in Sept. and again in Oct. She is 27 and lives at home, paying for a large student loan. She has a great job 15 min. from the house, paying $60,000/yr. I told her to ask him to fly down and spend Thanksgiving with us but his "MOM" didn't like the idea and wanted him to be there with her dad and his dad for the holiday, so he told my daughter he couldn't come. BUT she has to fly up there again (she pays her own airfare and yet splits the meal bills when they eat out while up there)the week bet. christmas and new years. He wants her to move up there and share an apt. this coming March. I tell my daughter that #1 he obeys his mama about thanksgiving, but yet he wants her to give up a great job, and her whole family (we are a very close family) she has 2 brothers, uncles, 2 nephews, 1 neice, her doggie and much more family. I know 6 hr drive isn't all that, but that would happen once in a long while and we don't have tons of money extra for airline tickets. She thinks I am wrong to feel he's selfish and should not expect her to leave everything for someone she only met in person 4x and who is an apparent mama's boy, plus no engagement ring. what do you think she should do?

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 11-05-2008, 03:08 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 4,195
happymom28 HB User
Re: Mama's boy

So she is going to give up her whole life for a man she's met only a handful of times? What does she plan on doing? I think she would be making a huge mistake not getting to know him better before uprooting her life for this guy who can't even come and spend a holiday with her because his mother said no. The problem here is the more you protest the more she is going to want to go, you know? She is an adult and whether or not you agree with her choices you have to allow her to make them. You can give you opinion and offer her advice, but in the end she needs to do what she needs to do. Don't push her away with the protests and with any luck she will see for herself that this is a bad idea.

Old 11-05-2008, 03:12 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 1,567
Re: Mama's boy

She will soon tire of being second to his "mommy." Trust me. He's 38 and still living with his parents? He sounds like a real prize. Plus the fact he was her student loan counselor. Makes me wonder why hes divorced at 38, with no kids and a momma's boy and how many more girls he'd been involved with that are his "Loan Recipients." If you ask me, he sounds like a wierdo, and a major [email protected] They split MEALS? And he wants he to share an apt? Oh God... Sorry, but Im really cautious.
Hang in there~

Last edited by IZZY'SMOM; 11-05-2008 at 03:20 PM.

Old 11-05-2008, 03:37 PM   #4
Seraph's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,438
Seraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB User
Re: Mama's boy

The whole thing sounds doomed to me. I agree with Happymom tho, she has to see it herself and until she is ready to do that, your concerns will not be heard. If you can talk her out of burning any boats, and into proceeding on a trial basis, then you will have done all you can to protect her. Like Izzysmom says, the mother thing will quickly get old.

Old 11-05-2008, 08:01 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: California
Posts: 651
negot HB Usernegot HB User
Re: Mama's boy

I hope that she'll realize that she got involved with a mamone (mama's boy). He also sounds really cheap. To split meals would really turn me off.

Old 11-06-2008, 09:55 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
trystme's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,096
trystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB User
Re: Mama's boy

She is 27 years old and can make her own decisions. I wouldn't get too involved in trying to talk her out of it for fear it would just push her toward him more. I agree that this is a mistake waiting to happen, but you just have to sit back and let her make the mistake if that is what she has her mind set on doing.

Old 11-06-2008, 02:46 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: US
Posts: 796
BeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB UserBeaTrade HB User
Re: Mama's boy

I think that she's making a mistake too but she has to see this for herself...and if she's like me...the more people tell me what to do, the more determined I am to do what I want to do. So don't tell her what to do...she's grown, she needs to do what she wants to do and not feel stupid when she needs to move back home. Nothing's worse that having a bunch of people sitting around waiting to say "I told you sooooooooo!"
My posts are just my opinion only and are not of a professional nature.

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Mama's Boys digmusic Relationship Health 6 03-16-2010 09:25 AM
Please help with baby mama issues.... desertgirl Relationship Health 6 03-18-2008 07:42 AM
What cleared my face:75 mg Spiro + 5,000 mg vit B 5 + MaMa lotion soracusa Share Your Acne Story 0 12-17-2007 09:30 AM
Mama woke up Tues and did not know me Dean's kid Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 8 07-06-2007 05:20 PM
I miss my Mama so much! CoyoteBound Grief & Loss 23 01-24-2007 10:05 PM
He's not saying mama or anything like that yet. dizzygirl Infant Care (up to 18 months old) 2 03-01-2006 01:38 PM
Any January Mama's? Mommie-2-B Pregnancy 7 08-28-2005 04:04 AM
mama's boy or not? and is it bad? semid Relationship Health 14 10-10-2003 03:53 AM
Mtn mama......... Ohiochick Weight Loss 7 06-05-2003 03:37 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:19 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!