It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • Don't know how to move on...

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 12-15-2008, 10:39 PM   #1
    GJ777
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    GJ777's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2003
    Posts: 161
    GJ777 HB User
    Don't know how to move on...

    Almost literally a year ago, I became emotionally attached to a close female friend of mine. I was 99.9% certain that she felt the same. It turns out the .1% prevailed and I was mistaken. I'm the type who falls fast and hard. Our "friendship" became very complicated and we ultimately stopped speaking in June. There's a lot of other complications, but that's not why I'm here. I've analyzed it to death.

    The problem is, I can't seem to move on. At all. I'm not trying to toot my horn, but I'm an attractive guy and I know there are a lot of women who are interested in me. But the thing is, I don't care. I'm a choosy about girlfriends as a lot of people are about wives. And even though there are numerous girls interested in me, it doesn't matter to me, because all I can see is "her." I unintentionally compare everyone to her and no one compares at all. I really want to move on, but I can't find myself interested in anyone but her. I try to have conversations with other women and sometimes the conversations are all right, but at the end of the day, I just think of her. I really want to be interested in these girls who like me. Some of them are physically attractive and have lovely personalities. I don't know what is wrong with me.

    I'm completely miserable - the holiday season and the fact that the anniversary of our demise is imminent contribute to this - and ashamed of myself for having let this dominate my life for nearly a year. Like I said, I really really REALLY want to move on with my life and be happy, but I can't seem to. I don't know what to do.

    Any advice, regardless of how harsh it might be, would be appreciated. I'm totally sick of thinking about this woman.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 12-15-2008, 11:14 PM   #2
    Baby_hands
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Baby_hands's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2003
    Location: Australia
    Posts: 578
    Baby_hands HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    :: sigh :: More heartbreak. I hear you.


    It sounds like you were in love with this woman and what makes it worse is that you thought she could've been as well! You get your hopes up..and then..have your bubble bursted and things fall apart. Even though you werent together, your still dealing with this like a breakup because you were attached to this woman and in your mind, she was returning your feelings.


    It has been almost a year now and I suspect there is a part of you that just cant seem to let go of her. I wouldnt suggest dating other women yet..but making more friendships is a good idea. Inviting more people into your life so that you can slowly see the world is bigger than 'her'.

    Unfortunately for some people, especially people who fall hard and fast, it takes longer to get over someone. Maybe you should be asking yourself why it is you fall hard and fast. Maybe you build up a romanticized idea of the person in your mind..making her almost 'goddess like' in your mind. You put the person on a much higher pedastool than she may deserve. You have to start looking at her honestly...and the situation honestly..remind yourself that she isnt the only woman in the world who will catch your interest. There IS someone else out there for you.

    Love is blinding and until you start to be honest with yourself and about the person, you cannot move on.

    Dont force anything new..everytime you see a nice woman..dont start thinking 'what if' straight away. Thats a little scary. Just take things slow..spend more time with male friends and just build friendships with females... when the right woman comes along, it'll click again. But this time, dont allow yourself to get too attached until you know how she feels.
    __________________
    Great beauty and virtue rarely dwell together.

    Last edited by Baby_hands; 12-15-2008 at 11:17 PM.

     
    Old 12-16-2008, 02:16 AM   #3
    elatedgiraffe
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    elatedgiraffe's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Apr 2004
    Posts: 1,783
    elatedgiraffe HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    Good to know men go through this too. Not that I am happy you are suffering but I relate so much to your post. Trust me, you are not alone in this thinking.

    I suggest you try as hard as you can to date some of these women. You dont need to be so picky. Go out with them, laugh with them, and distract yourself a little bit. Of course, some dates may have you really missing that girl, but then there will be others that may spark an interest that the other girl did not have.

    A year is a long time. Maybe you are more obsessed with the idea of why she didnt want you and how you couldnt get her rather than her?? Just something to consider.

    I noticed that I tend to have a harder time getting over someone that I never really could have, if that makes sense? That I just cant shake the idea that I couldnt make them fall as in love with me as I did them.

    At the same time, dont be so hard on yourself. Force yourself to date, try and relax and I think when the time comes and you are really ready you will find you won't be comparing this girl so much to the new girls. Think, she wasn't so great anyways because she didnt give you a chance and these other girls will.

    I know you are ready to be over her, but be patient, these things take time. And yes, sometimes more than a year.

     
    Old 12-16-2008, 03:37 AM   #4
    pendulum
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Apr 2007
    Location: Florianópolis, Brazil
    Posts: 3,933
    pendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    I haven't read what the other posters wrote. I will give you a very intuitive answer, though. I don't know if it will work, but if I were in your shoes I would try and talk to her again. Exactly. What do you have to lose? This is maybe an obsession. Maybe you have to approach her again, from a different angle, to see that she is ultimately not so great. I am sorry, but she is just another human being. I don't know what caused the break-up, but anyway forget your pride and try to reach her again. If she says no, if she doesn't even want to listen to what you have to say, consider making a long trip somewhere. Different environments will certainly make you a lot of good at this moment.

     
    Old 12-16-2008, 05:04 PM   #5
    GJ777
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    GJ777's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2003
    Posts: 161
    GJ777 HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    I feel like I should give a little background info. Please note that I wrote this after what's below it, so it maybe somewhat incongruous... Gonna make it brief, anyway.
    When we first met, she was two weeks removed from a six to seven year marriage. Her husband had left her two weeks before. She is seven years older than me and has two very young children. We became friends and talked fairly regularly. For a few months, things were fine. We hung out briefly on a couple of occasions, but most of our interaction was done by phone. In late November, things changed. We started to talk more frequently. She started to invite me out on a regular basis. By December, she was calling me nearly every weekend to hang out. The weekend before Christmas, she called me to hang out three days in a row. Mind you, we were alone. It wasn't a group hang out. There were other weird signs, as well. One time she told me I couldn't get married to anyone but her, she acted jealous if I'd talk about other women, she started asking questions about my sex life, she introduced me to her brother, etc. Realizing the complexity of her life - still married, two children - I never tried to physically advance. Two days before Christmas, I called her asked if she wanted to spend Christmas with me. She said "no." I asked if we were going to end up together. She said "no." I'm not terribly pleased with how I handled the situation, but given her life, I didn't know what else to do. There's other stuff, as well, including subtle things like the way she would look at me or speak to me, but that's the brief summary.

    Very diverse responses. Thank you for all of them.

    Yes, I definitely put her on a pedestal. At the same time, I am now and have always been completely aware of her faults, which are many. There were also a TON of other complicated, complex issues, as well, that probably figured into her decision. But, as I said, I've analyzed this to death.

    When we met, I never, ever imagined that things would go the route they did. Particularly because her life is extraordinarily complicated and I didn't want to involve myself with someone with her issues. I thought she would be a nice friend and that's it. But, as I've told everyone around me who thinks I'm crazy for being interested in her, you don't choose who you fall for. It just happened.

    I agree that I need to enlarge my circle of friends. The problem is, I am not the type of guy who can be only friends with a girl. It NEVER works. I don't know why. My younger brother has a ton of female friends. But for me, someone always ends up with feelings for the other person. It has happened every time I've tried. And don't get me wrong, some of them have been nice friendships, but in the end, they ultimately dissolve or blossom into relationships. That was obviously the case here, with the former being the outcome.

    I really really want to date and move on. I think I HAVE to try. But again, I just can't seem to have any interest in anybody else. I mean, I'm still physically attracted to other women and I've met other women whose personalities I've liked, but I can't seem to care enough to bother trying. And I almost feel like that if I was to try, I'd just be cheating the woman because my mind and heart would be somewhere else. But I guess I have to try, anyway.

    Another part of the problem is that I've always considered myself an excellent reader of people. I was so certain she felt the same and, as was suggested, I really built up my expectations and was completely shocked when she rejected me. My heart plummeted through my body, dropped out, ran to the window and took a nose dive onto the pavement. I've never been more shocked about anything. Ever. I've tried to convince myself that the so-called "signs" were just my imagination, but even now I have a hard time accepting that I was wrong.

    I'm definitely hanging onto this, still, but I don't want to. I don't want to hang on. I don't want to think that it might still work. I want to accept that I was wrong about the way she felt. It really sucks.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by pendulum View Post
    I haven't read what the other posters wrote. I will give you a very intuitive answer, though. I don't know if it will work, but if I were in your shoes I would try and talk to her again. Exactly. What do you have to lose? This is maybe an obsession. Maybe you have to approach her again, from a different angle, to see that she is ultimately not so great. I am sorry, but she is just another human being. I don't know what caused the break-up, but anyway forget your pride and try to reach her again. If she says no, if she doesn't even want to listen to what you have to say, consider making a long trip somewhere. Different environments will certainly make you a lot of good at this moment.
    I've thought of this, but I don't know what I would say to her. We both agreed that we can't ever be friends again. And that's still the truth. I don't know that I have nothing to lose. If I call her up and she flat out refuses to speak to me, I might be a blow to my self esteem. Yeah, I'd be right where I am now without her at all, but I'd have the added pain of having crawled back and then shot down. Furthermore I just don't know what I would say or do. I'd still love to be with her, but she rejected me. I can't go in there begging or something.

    I hope someone reads at least part of that! Haha.

    Last edited by GJ777; 12-16-2008 at 05:05 PM.

     
    Old 12-17-2008, 03:57 PM   #6
    resolution09
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    resolution09's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2008
    Location: Ohio
    Posts: 872
    resolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    So even though you were not a couple, it felt like you were a couple. And then, in addition to being rejected, you don't really know why you were rejected since you felt she was sending you "go" signals.

    Yea, that's rough. And I can see why it would be hard to get over. But basically, it sounds like you were there for her at a point where she needed you. Some people (and excuse me but it's mainly women) send "come get me" messages just for the rush of doing it. It sounds like she was using you to the full extent of the friendship. I don't mean "using" in the bad sense. She may have thought your being a couple was so far out of the realm of possibility that you were just sort of playing a game too. Things may have just gotten out of control from her perspective.

    Does she know you still have such strong feelings for her? Is she in the same circle that this message is getting back to her without your actually calling? If she is, I'd let it drop. They'd be telling you she's interested, not telling you to get over her.

    If you have no idea how she feels, I'd suggest giving her a call at Christmas and wishing her a happy holiday. That simple. Thinking of you, hoping all is going well, Merry Christmas....(or New Year's if you don't celebrate Christmas.) If she doesn't take the ball and run with it, you have your answer.

     
    Old 12-17-2008, 06:24 PM   #7
    GJ777
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    GJ777's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2003
    Posts: 161
    GJ777 HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by resolution09 View Post
    So even though you were not a couple, it felt like you were a couple. And then, in addition to being rejected, you don't really know why you were rejected since you felt she was sending you "go" signals.

    Yea, that's rough. And I can see why it would be hard to get over. But basically, it sounds like you were there for her at a point where she needed you. Some people (and excuse me but it's mainly women) send "come get me" messages just for the rush of doing it. It sounds like she was using you to the full extent of the friendship. I don't mean "using" in the bad sense. She may have thought your being a couple was so far out of the realm of possibility that you were just sort of playing a game too. Things may have just gotten out of control from her perspective.

    Does she know you still have such strong feelings for her? Is she in the same circle that this message is getting back to her without your actually calling? If she is, I'd let it drop. They'd be telling you she's interested, not telling you to get over her.

    If you have no idea how she feels, I'd suggest giving her a call at Christmas and wishing her a happy holiday. That simple. Thinking of you, hoping all is going well, Merry Christmas....(or New Year's if you don't celebrate Christmas.) If she doesn't take the ball and run with it, you have your answer.
    No, we're not in the same circle. We don't have any mutual friends. I went to her birthday party last year and met some of her friends, but I didn't keep in touch with any of them.

    Let me give you a bit more info on the aftermath:

    The day she rejected me, I told her that I didn't think we could be friends anymore, so I went to her apartment and gave her all her stuff back. She told me to call her if I changed my mind about being friends. Two days later, on Christmas, she sent me a "merry Christmas" and said the same thing, "call me if you change your mind." Two weeks later I decided I should try to be friends because I missed her. At this point she told me she was freaked out and needed more time, but would call me "soon." A month goes by and I hear nothing. I run into her on the subway and we talk. She tells me she's getting divorced, I talk about my life. Everything seems great. She says, "I'll call you soon." She doesn't call. A month and a half later I call her and ask her what's going on. I ask if she wants to be friends or not and explain that it's ok if she doesn't want to be friends, but I just want to know, so I can let it go and stop worrying about it. She says she does want to be friends and she's over what happened. She says I can call her whenever I want. Nice conversation. I call her two weeks later and leave a message. No response. I run into her two days afterwards and she makes up a lie about not getting my message and says she'll call me when comes back from a trip. Time goes by and she doesn't call. I give up. I delete her number. I'm trying to move on. Two months pass and I get a text message saying that, "I'll call you soon!" I'm confused. A week passes without a call and finally I respond to the text, telling her that "I'm confused about what's going on. Why she keeps saying she'll call me, but doesn't call. I even get messages that she'll call. It's like coming attractions at the movies, or something." She flips out on me. She accuses me of making everything into a big deal. I tell her that I'm not making anything into a big deal that I'm just confused. She tells me she's really stressed about her divorce and the fact that she has two young children She refuses to tell me anything about why she has been sending mixed signals. She keeps saying that she "can't have this conversation." She tells me that she liked our friendship, but doesn't think we can ever go back there. She says that she doesn't feel like she can trust me, because she's never going to know what I'm thinking or how I really feel about her. I tell her I'm not in love with her and that I just want to be friends. She keeps trying to get off the phone and finally I let her. She concludes by saying she doesn't think she's going to call me again. I tell her "ok" and tell her to delete my number and that I'll delete hers.

    It wasn't a mean spirited or confrontational conversation, but somber.

    That phone call was at the end of May. And that's the last I've heard of her. I haven't run into her. I've avoided places where I might run into her. I have no idea what's going on in her life. I assume she's divorced by now. I don't know whether she's single or with someone. I don't know anything about her, anymore. Like I said, we have no common friends.

    I'm lapsing back into the analysis here, but what the heck...

    She's completely right in that we can't go back to being friends. Things went way too far in another direction. I mean, she invited me to go to France and Africa with her. Alone. There were a lot of things, in my opinion, at least, that went beyond just being friends. We became very close in the end. It can't go back to friendship.

    That said, I don't understand why she kept saying she'd call me and then didn't. Even after I asked her if she wanted to be friends, she still played the same gig after telling me she did want to be friends. It was about five months of "I'll call you soons" and no calls. I don't get that. I don't get how one weeks she texts me out of the blue telling me that she'll call me soon and the next week, she never wants to speak to me again.

    A large part of the reason I'm finding it hard to move on is that everything was so confusing. I don't think I'll ever really understand it. Her life is infinitely more complex than I can imagine: having two children and being recently separated or divorced. It was never ideal. No one encouraged me to pursue such a woman and I never thought I would. But like I said, you don't really pick who you fall for.

    The one thing I really really regret is telling her that I wasn't in love with her. I did it because I thought we could just be friends, but it wasn't the truth. I don't like to lie. Not about that, especially.

    Last edited by GJ777; 12-17-2008 at 06:30 PM.

     
    Old 12-18-2008, 06:41 PM   #8
    GJ777
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    GJ777's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2003
    Posts: 161
    GJ777 HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    The other thing is, I have no idea what I would say to her if I were to call her. "Merry Christmas, I love you?"

    I have no idea what to do.

    There was a girl today who I could tell was interested in me and she was very attractive and yet, once again, no real interest. It doesn't help that I'm shy, either.

     
    Old 12-18-2008, 11:28 PM   #9
    digmusic
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    digmusic's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 930
    digmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    It's probably not that you aren't still an excellent reader of people and she obviously was giving you signs that she was into you, but she couldn't consummate right then for whatever multitude of possible reasons. These things have so much to do with timing.

     
    Old 12-18-2008, 11:36 PM   #10
    digmusic
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    digmusic's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 930
    digmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    I said that before reading the rest of it, and all the "ill call you soons" are just excuses and surely GUILT reactions. Maybe she was once into you, but at some point she stopped being into you or she would have called when she said she would. I actually am guilty myself of doing the "ill call you soons" to one of my guy friends and the reason I don't call is because I'll genuinely forget because I'm not focused on him, I'm focusing on other things. I send them when I feel bad because I know that he's into me and I'm not into him, though we've agreed to be friends anyway. That probably sucks to hear and perhaps I should reevaluate my own behavior because I sound like a dou!!. It looks like she wasn't into you for very long or very strongly or she wouldn't have behaved in that way. Unless she's a serious masochist or something...

    Last edited by digmusic; 12-18-2008 at 11:40 PM.

     
    Old 12-18-2008, 11:38 PM   #11
    digmusic
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    digmusic's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 930
    digmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    unfortunately, I don't know how to move on. The only times I've ever moved on is in retrospect, as in later I realize that at some point in the past I stopped caring so much. If dating is just bumming you out, then why not pour yourself into a passion. Are you an artist, musician, writer? You sound smart. Every smart guy gets smarter through a blue period. You might as well create something from your misery.

    Last edited by digmusic; 12-18-2008 at 11:40 PM.

     
    Old 12-19-2008, 03:39 AM   #12
    pendulum
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Apr 2007
    Location: Florianópolis, Brazil
    Posts: 3,933
    pendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by GJ777 View Post
    ... It doesn't help that I'm shy, either.
    I've picked the following sentence from your first post: "I unintentionally compare everyone to her and no one compares at all."

    Sorry, but I can't believe this to be true. Not only does she disrespect you, but also she has too many issues herself to become a viable partner for you, if ever this is meant to happen. She can be really beautiful, attractive, intelligent, whatever, but her "flaws" don't make her incomparable, in my opinion. I am sorry to be saying this, but I think you have to look for someone else who is more compatible with your current situation (you are single, have no kids, have probably little romantic experience, etc). Be realistic.

    Actually you should be thankful for her withdrawal. I am afraid a long-term relationship with her would really make you miserable.

    Write something about her on a piece of card and then burn it gently. This may help you move on.

    Being shy doesn't prevent you from dating other people. Don't use this as an excuse. At least remember that everyone is shy to a certain degree, even if on the surface they look self-confident.

    Last edited by pendulum; 12-19-2008 at 03:40 AM.

     
    Old 12-19-2008, 05:14 PM   #13
    resolution09
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    resolution09's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2008
    Location: Ohio
    Posts: 872
    resolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    It's very hard to explain but the more you tell your story, the less this feels like it's about that woman. I really can't explain it, but it feels like it's more an issue you are having with life and she is the symptom.

    The woman you just met that you had no interest -- How would you know? If you said we went out on two dates and there was nothing, I'd believe that. But to say there's no interest before you even spent 90 minutes one-on-one chatting over coffee....

    Well, again, I wish I could be more specific but I'm having a hard time finding the words to make it clear. But honestly, in 2 years I think you'd be able to look back at this episode of your life and you'll understand what I mean.

    Good luck.

     
    Old 12-19-2008, 07:10 PM   #14
    GJ777
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    GJ777's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2003
    Posts: 161
    GJ777 HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    She is 100% a symptom of a larger problem.

    The thing is, I knew she wasn't ideal. Even a year ago, I knew it wasn't a relationship that would work in the long run. Her life is extraordinarily difficult and I don't have the money, time or interest in being a father to her children. I was always aware it wasn't ideal. And yet, for some reason, that almost made it appealing.

    As I mentioned before, I'm aware that people find me attractive. Numerous people have told me I should be a model. And I'm aware that I'm inherently bright and fairly educated. But the thing is, I'm a psychological and emotional wreck. Even though I know I'm intelligent and physically attractive, I have no self esteem whatsoever. I have no respect for myself. Even though I know girls are interested in me, I never have any clue why they would be, because I don't think highly of myself at all. I think that on the surface, people assume things must be great for me but they're really not. Even on the surface, when I interact with clients at work, everyone always assumes that I'm this carefree, laid back guy.

    Even though this woman treated me like dirt at the end that made me want her more. I think a lot of it is Oedipal. As a child, it never felt like anything I did was good enough for my Mom. I have the tendency to want what I can't have and not want what I can. I'm always chasing after the women who don't love me.

    And so, with this woman, she was a challenge. And I didn't win. And now I'm sulking. And in a way, I'm aware of this, as I'm telling you it now, but it's like it's ingrained and I can't get rid of it. Or, I don't know how to. I don't know how to be interested in the girls who do like me.

    Also, in many ways I'm very mature for my age. I tend to like women who are more subdued and not extreme extroverts. I don't really party and when I do, I feel out of place. That's part of the appeal of this woman. Her children made her live a pretty calm life and I liked that.

    I see a therapist. It helps. But at the end of the day, I don't really know what to do with myself. I'm worried that I'm going to be pining after this woman for years. I really don't want to.

    A lot of it is fear, too. I'm, as you can probably guess, a very sensitive guy. I don't really show it, so people aren't usually that aware of it, but I am. I'm afraid of getting hurt like this again. This whole year of my life has been absolute agony. It's been particularly bad the past few weeks, because her birthday was at the beginning of the month and Christmas is next week. Plus, the months is full of all sorts of sentimental "1 year anniversary of's..."

    As far as her using the "I'll call you soons" as a guilt reaction, I thought of that. I just don't get why she didn't get out of our friendship when I gave her an easy exit. I had called and said specifically on her voice mail that if she didn't want to be friends or didn't think she could handle being friends, that she should let me know. I even said that if she DIDN'T call me back, I would understand that as her meaning she didn't want to be friends. But she did call and did say she wanted to be friends. I don't know, maybe she was still uncertain at that time. I don't know.

    Ultimately, it wasn't ideal. It may be better that it didn't happen. I'll never know that. Doesn't really change that I still miss her horribly and wish that I could be with her. I would really like to accept all her flaws and talk myself into thinking she was garbage, but I can't seem to do it.

    Thanks for reading and responding to my posts, guys (or gals).

    Last edited by GJ777; 12-19-2008 at 07:10 PM.

     
    Old 12-22-2008, 03:36 PM   #15
    GJ777
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    GJ777's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2003
    Posts: 161
    GJ777 HB User
    Re: Don't know how to move on...

    I saw the movie "Yes Man" over the weekend and absurdly enough, it was inspiring. The character in the movie, played by Jim Carey, is going through what I've gone through for the past year. The love of his life has rejected him and he's responded by ceasing to live. He sits around alone and is very negative. He's defeated. That's what I've done for the past year.

    I think I have to force myself to go on dates and do things, even if I don't initially want to. I have to go out with girls even if the girl from a year ago is all that's on my mind. I have to stop living my life like one day she's going to call me up and tell me that's madly in love with me. That is most likely not going to happen, so I have to carry on, even if it's difficult.

    The past year has been a waste of my life. I've been mourning for a year as of tomorrow. I've passed up a lot of opportunities. I've spent nearly every day in pain. But I've not really tried to move on. I haven't put forth much effort. I've just waited for the pain to go away and for a new woman to walk right through the door.

    I just wanted to share that. It's pretty odd that a silly and stupid - though I was thoroughly entertained - movie could touch me in such a way, but I'm thankful for it.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Boyfriend is moving, he wants me to go with him, I don't think I can Erin942 Relationship Health 9 12-02-2008 12:23 PM
    I don't think he loves me anymore Amitriptyline Relationship Health 11 01-02-2007 07:53 AM
    I don't even know what to title this... Graciella Relationship Health 43 07-08-2006 06:37 PM
    I just... just...I don't know. EoR Depression 385 10-25-2005 08:43 PM
    I don't want to go on... cinting Relationship Health 29 09-21-2005 05:11 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:53 PM.





    © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!