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    Old 02-01-2009, 10:26 AM   #1
    chevyman
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    Non Affectionate & Emotional

    How dose one cope with a partner that shows no affectionate or emotional feelings what so ever but still says they love you?

    she may show in it other ways I'm sure she does but I just want the laying by my side kind of affection I guess? you know the love and affection that two people show and have for each other....my g/f is not like this and I don't understand why ,she wont even talk about it?
    My g/f is like this and I want more phyiscal affection from her.
    please help me. thanks

     
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    Old 02-01-2009, 12:16 PM   #2
    CyberNick
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    Re: Non Affectionate & Emotional

    All people show affection in different ways, I've come to find it depends a lot on how somebody was (or wasn't) shown affection when they were growing up and learning about relationships and people. My girlfriend can be the same way at times, but we've talked about it and I know she's had to endure a very unemotional father and a very critical and judgemental mother. I'm much more affectionate than she is, but she shows her affection in other ways and I'm okay with that.

    If you want a certain kind of affection, you're not going to get it from her sorry to say. Some people are more physically affectionate and touchy, others just aren't. Maybe if you better understand her background you'll be able to rectify the situation a bit.

     
    Old 02-01-2009, 02:58 PM   #3
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    Re: Non Affectionate & Emotional

    What does she do when you show affection towards her? Does she reciprocate or pull away. I agree, some people don't know how to and you have to also take into consideration that she may say she loves you but if she truly doesn't, it might explain why she doesn't show it either.

    I'd try to be more affectionate towards her and see how she reacts. I agree with the other poster - if you want someone who is more affectionate and she doesn't come around, you may have to find someone who is more like that. I'm not saying people don't change, but if she doesn't want to make any changes then this is who she is and you'll have to accept it if you're going to stay with her.

     
    Old 02-01-2009, 04:26 PM   #4
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    Re: Non Affectionate & Emotional

    chevy I'm starting to think her main priority with this relationship is companionship......what do you think?

     
    Old 02-01-2009, 06:15 PM   #5
    chevyman
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    Re: Non Affectionate & Emotional

    Well I'm not meaning that I want to be smootherd with kisses and can't breath...not like that with me.. I just want her to show more affection toward me.
    I want her to come up to me and kiss my check or just show more affectionate love caress my face and say nice things to me romatic things..not all the time but just once a week maybe...lol
    I don't hink she has lived a hard life and something happen to her in her past..if it did she wont talk about it I think she was this way before me, her brother told me she was just a non affectionate person.

    yeah rose I sometimes think I'm just a companion to her and just please her when she wants it.
    when someone dies we know and are close she never shows any emotions what so ever her favorite uncle died she showed no tears...my brother was killed in auto accdent..I was stunn/hurt and showed emotional tears I cried for days...well with her she is not like that either she is just tough or she crazy one?
    guess I'm more affectionate and emotional than she is....sometimes I wish I was not but thats just the way I am..and I have trouble that she is the way she is.
    I would love for her to get close to me and just rub my face and tell me she loves me cuddle with me just show more affection and not have to have sex..if you can understand what I mean.

     
    Old 02-01-2009, 06:21 PM   #6
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    Re: Non Affectionate & Emotional

    chevy I know EXACTLY what you mean.....I had a BF like that. I found out after the fact that he was a narcississst. He was emotionally empty inside. It was very hard to understand. I just had to accept it. I felt sorry for him actually, but it didn't seem to bother him. This woman isn't meeting your emotional needs and you have every right to be upset about it. I'd put her in the friend zone and keep looking for the real thing. She may just not be capable of giving you what you (or any normal person) need.

     
    Old 02-01-2009, 10:10 PM   #7
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    Re: Non Affectionate & Emotional

    I would slowly try to back away from her too, if you tried everything by giving her hints etc etc,and since affection is important to you(well it's important to us all) then I wouldn't put up with not feeling loved. As difficult as breaking up with her may be. Or maybe communicate with her more about how your feeling it in suttle ways?

     
    Old 02-01-2009, 10:56 PM   #8
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    Re: Non Affectionate & Emotional

    Actually she won't listen when I ask her to be more affectionate, she says ''I thought I was'' and thats the end of it, makes me look like the bad guy
    everythings fine in the bedroom I give her what she wants and desires not that am a romeo or anything or a big stud..I'd just like it if she was affectionate at any time.... once a week would be good..I see people in love at the park I jog in and see them kiss and the way they look all happy in there realtionship married or not it just melts my heart and I WANT THAT TO HAPPEN FOR ME.
    maybe its just an ego thing for me..but I'm sure getting tired in this realtionship I'm in...I wish she would change and not be so up tight all the darn time.

     
    Old 02-02-2009, 03:26 AM   #9
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    Re: Non Affectionate & Emotional

    Well, I agree with who ever said that it could be her upbringing/childhood. There are many things that could have happened to her when she was a kid that made her less affectionate than other people. On the other hand some people are just that way...
    Did she have many relationships before you, were any of those relationships serious? Before my first serious relationship I was bit weird myself...I had hard time getting use to sleeping with anyone in my bed...but once I found the one I really loved it just came natural to me. Maybe you should back away, to see if she will become more affectionate. Some people get irritated with too much affection, so maybe she is irritated by your affection and hence won't show any in return. Of course there's that possibility that she just doesn't feel the same way you feel about her...

    <deleted: off-topic>

    Last edited by Administrator; 02-09-2009 at 09:01 AM. Reason: deleted off-topic question.

     
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