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  • Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

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    Old 02-18-2009, 08:17 PM   #31
    deardaisy
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Redneon82 View Post
    Guilt trip! Next she'll be saying if you really loved her you wouldn't even want to go away without her.

    She's a control freak, sounds like borderline psycho...I see your future as pretty bleak if you stay with her. I hope she's the queen of wit, fun and personality because if she has her way, you will never spend time with anyone but her ever again.
    Control freak, maybe... but I definately wouldn't say psycho. It sounds like she has her own insecurites and is taking them out on you. Ask her why she doesn't trust your friends, and give her reasons why she should be able to trust all of you. But really, she needs to get to the root of her own insecurities.

     
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    Old 02-19-2009, 07:51 AM   #32
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    Well I really think the not trusting my friends is just an excuse for her insecurities bc obviously my friends aren't going to force me to do anything I don't want to do.

    Bottom line is I am an honest person and I have never cheated on any woman.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 08:01 AM   #33
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    I believe you and I don't even know you? I'm glad you're going. Have fun and deal with Miss Insecure when you get home. If she she decides she wants to break up, then it's no big loss, really.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 01:28 PM   #34
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    I'm glad you're going and hope you have fun. So how did you leave it with your girlfriend? Did she decide to be ok with it, or try to be ok with it?

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 02:32 PM   #35
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    Well, I'm actually unclear on that. She told me to leave bc she wanted to be alone. I felt like the ball was in her court at that point. She text later the next day and told me that I left my coat and I might need it this weekend. Other than that she has not called me or tried to make contact.

    Everybody is telling me not to call her or bother her since she threw a fit and asked me to leave. I'm not sure what to do.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 02:56 PM   #36
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    She's doing the "my way or the highway" routine. Also, the martyr routine. Oh, and add "silent treatment". Not too mature. She may want you to beg her forgiveness, or agree to skip the trip so she'll be happy.

    As far as her claim that you are not considering her feelings, she's disregarding yours too, not to mention her refusal to trust that you can resist peer pressure and drunk bimbos.

    Well, I agree with your friends to let her cool off until you get back. This should not be a relationship ending thing, most likely she will stew for a while then get over it.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 04:41 PM   #37
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    yikes. Sorry about that. Yes, hopefully this won't be a deal breaker, just a growing thing for the relationship and a lesson in trustfor her. Good luck.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 07:41 PM   #38
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    Well she went over the line tonight. She called my mom (they talk from time to time) and told her every possible negative thing she could think of about the guys I'm going with.

    My mom then called me up worried I was going to get into trouble with my friends. Hell, I'm almost 30 and I have my mom talking to me like i'm 17 again!

    very angry and sad right now.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 07:46 PM   #39
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    she's pulling out all the stops......talking to your mom, wow.......
    this girl is very insecure and that's why she's manipulating you......
    the question is, do you want to live like this because it will only get worse.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 07:58 PM   #40
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    I'm standing by my "borderline psycho" assessment. Who the heck calls their 30 year old boyfriend's mom to tattle on him??!! Like he didn't clean his room, or do his homework!

    I hope you are still planning to go on this trip. To cancel out so you can appease this control freak would be a HUGE mistake. She will take over and, like I said before, pretty soon she will be the only person she "allows" you to spend time with. Oh, and maybe your mom too.

    I'm sorry she is doing this...she is ruining your relationship in her misguided attempts to hold on to you.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 08:12 PM   #41
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    she just called me for the first time...arguing about it more. Talking about how in the past we had talked about new orleans and now Im going without her and how her feelings were hurt. Started crying, etc. On the phone she told me she was throwing my jacket outside and the flowers i bought her for valentines day. said if I went this weekend our relationship was over.

    more crying...said she hates me right now. etc...


     
    Old 02-19-2009, 08:15 PM   #42
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    when a child doesn't get their way, they throw a tantrum. Giving into them will just reinforce that behavior.........
    you should turn the tables and tell her if she doesn't stop acting like this YOU"RE breaking up with her.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 08:22 PM   #43
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    she also said...

    "I've always wanted a guy that would not do anything I'm not comfortable with and wouldn't even ask if he could, he would just know he can't do it and not do it."

    also said she doesn't like going places without me and it hurts her feelings when I want to do stuff without her.

    Last edited by Tubular; 02-19-2009 at 08:23 PM.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 09:19 PM   #44
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Tubular View Post
    she also said...

    "I've always wanted a guy that would not do anything I'm not comfortable with and wouldn't even ask if he could, he would just know he can't do it and not do it."

    also said she doesn't like going places without me and it hurts her feelings when I want to do stuff without her.
    Goodness...that's too bad. Well, it seems then, you are not the right man for her. I don't know about your friends or how justified she may be in her feelings, if they cheat on their girlfriends, drink a lot, frequent strip clubs, sleep around and love and leave a lot of women, going to marti gras for the main purpose to get lucky, etc. but the way she is acting on her feelings is very inappropriate. She's trying to manipulate you into being someone you just aren't. Seems the relationship is over. Sorry, but it's better to find out sooner rather than later.

     
    Old 02-19-2009, 09:27 PM   #45
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Tubular View Post
    she also said...

    "I've always wanted a guy that would not do anything I'm not comfortable with and wouldn't even ask if he could, he would just know he can't do it and not do it."

    also said she doesn't like going places without me and it hurts her feelings when I want to do stuff without her.
    a) If it's something she's not comfortable with it should come to a matter of discussion, not "he should know he can't do it". If it's the fact that he's contemplating sleeping with another woman while in a relationship, then no he should know not to do it, but going away for a weekend?!

    b) going places without her shouldn't hurt her feelings. You are two separate people. To me this says she doesn't know how to have a life outside of the relationship. A significant other should be part of your life not your entire life. Perhaps she needs some theropy to sort out these issues, or some self help books (just don't buy them and tell her she has to read them. That won't help anything either.)

    I agree with Rose to tell her if she doesn't stop acting like this you'll break up with her. Right now she's under the impression that she can do whatever she wants to you because she's confident that no matter what you won't leave her. In fact, I bet even though she said she'll break up with you if you go on the trip, she won't, and will just continue to say things to make you feel bad. Put your foot down now before you feel even worse. You have no reason to.

    Last edited by deardaisy; 02-19-2009 at 09:28 PM.

     
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