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  • Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

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    Old 02-21-2009, 04:41 AM   #76
    realguy
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    Go with your friends. You will be establishing the boundaries of your relationship with your GF. If she can't handle a weekend away from you when your in a party setting. This may be a bad sign for your future together.
    Stay in contact with her to ease her mind.

    Last edited by realguy; 02-21-2009 at 04:47 AM.

     
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    Old 02-21-2009, 09:47 AM   #77
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by realguy View Post
    Go with your friends. You will be establishing the boundaries of your relationship with your GF. If she can't handle a weekend away from you when your in a party setting. This may be a bad sign for your future together.
    Stay in contact with her to ease her mind.
    Yes, this is exactly what I said in my first post on this thread. Reach a compromise. Go if you feel you really want and need to and you know you're not going to do anything hinky, but also take her feelings into consideratin and call her regularly to ease her mind.

    But since it's Saturday, Tubular is probably gone and we probably won't hear back from him till after Fat Tuesday. Hopefully everything will work out for the best.

    But I also have to say, that we should keep in mind too, before we crucify this poor girl much more, that we have only heard one side of the story, and perception is reality.

     
    Old 02-21-2009, 01:00 PM   #78
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    Come back and let us know how it went. Hope you enjoy your trip.

    Last edited by brokenhearted83; 02-21-2009 at 01:01 PM.

     
    Old 02-24-2009, 10:23 AM   #79
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    Hello, I'm back. Well, I had an awesome time hanging out with my buddies! It was good to see my friend that I hadn't seen in so long! His condo was amazing...right on St. Charles where all the parades went through. It was really cool!

    Even though I felt like my relationship was already over with my current g/f (she sorta unofficially broke up with me), I still knew I would feel guilty if I did anything with another woman b/c I had not officially broken it off with my current. So of course, I did nothing wrong, no other women...just enjoyed the beverages and laughed with friends.

    She text me all weekend about how upset she was with me, and how she couldn't eat, was having trouble sleeping, etc. Towards the end of the weekend her texts turned more towards an apologetic tone and I think she began to realise that I wasn't there to do her any wrong.

    I told myself that when I got back, if everything seemed good, and she would agree to give me a little more freedom, that I would try to work it out with her. But if she wouldn't...it was over. So when I got back she was very happy, but when I asked her..."what is going to happen next time I want to hang out with my buddies for a weekend?" Her reply was "you're not...next time you're taking me."

    uhhhhhhhh no. That is when I told her if she wouldn't allow me to go hang out with my friends from time to time, then we couldn't see each other anymore.

    I think she thought I was bluffing bc she went along with it and started talking about how she needed to get her stuff back and whatnot. When I told her I would gather her things and bring them to her, she started crying and begging me not to dump her. Then she got in her car and said she was coming over and begged me to let her in my apartment. She hugged me and wouldn't let go of my neck and just kept crying and begging me not to break up with her.

    Honestly I felt very cold inside...almost emotionless. I don't know if it's b/c I've been put through the ringer for the last few years with frequent passive aggressive behavior and arguments stemming from that. Plus no me time, and the me time I did get I was rushed and hurried bc she was bored. Anyways, that's a whole nother thing.

    I told her the changes I would need to see in order for the relationship to work and she agreed to them. I have serious doubts that I'll see any long term changes, but I'm at the end of my rope now, and I've decided that if the crap starts back up again, I'm out.

     
    Old 02-24-2009, 11:51 AM   #80
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    I'm glad you had a good time.

    I have to ask, did you respond to her constant texts about how she "couldn't eat" and what not? I'm wondering if your lack of response is what got her to start the appologetic tone.

    Unfortunately I think you are beating a dead horse by waiting to see what happens "next time", but that is your call to make. I hope you continue on taking your time for you and not allowing her to control your every move. You have now had a taste of how things should be and I don't think you will be able to go back to catering to her every need.

     
    Old 02-24-2009, 12:05 PM   #81
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    I did respond to a few of her texts but I did not want to have the phone stuck to my hand the whole time so I tried to keep it brief. Of course she got her feelings hurt that I wasn't responding promptly and a few texts I received read something like "well I guess you're having fun while I'm sitting here sick to death. You couldn't care less how this makes me feel!"

     
    Old 02-24-2009, 01:58 PM   #82
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    I think that you are seeing a scary glimpse into the future here. I have noted many examples of childish manipulation throughout this post. I am so glad you are standing up to her. It is now her choice whether she grows up and joins you in a more adult relationship. I don't hold out much hope, tho, it is very hard for somebody to give up behaviour that has worked so well for them in the past. Stick to your guns. Sera.

     
    Old 02-26-2009, 02:02 PM   #83
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    Re: Ok for me to go on vacation w/o my gf?

    The type of response she gave to you in her texting was designed to ruin your trip. Warning sign!

     
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