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  • Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

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    Old 04-03-2009, 08:46 AM   #1
    EDC_Light
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    Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    My girlfriend has requested that I take a personality test with her to check on areas were we do well, and areas where it could become a challenge for us. She had made a committment to a former counselor that she would do such a test with a guy she saw potential in the relationship.

    I agreed to take the test because I also see potential in the relationship and want to support her committments.

    However, she seems to still have some concerns. I suppose that such things are common, but she's open enough, and not affraid, to state that she does. I guess that's better than someone who doesn't get such things out and, as the relationship progresses, creates a lot of problems down the road.

    I have to admit, though, that I'm a bit uneasy about the test. There could be the possibility that something is brought up that one of us can't or won't like, . . and so much so that it causes the relationship to end. I suppose that, in the long run, it would be better for both of us, . . . but I also don't want little things,. . . things that can be worked on, . . . be a reason for ending it.

    I don't think that's her purpose, though. It seems like she really is seeing the relationship progress and IS progressing enough [for her] that she sees it necessary for the test. I should see that as a pretty possitive step, actually, because if she wasn't asking to do this, that would mean that she wasn't very serious about the relationship, nor sees a future.

    What is your take on this?

    Thanks!

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    Old 04-03-2009, 08:56 AM   #2
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    oh EDC - don't sweat it!!!
    This girl seems pretty smart and aware and she communicates with you!
    I'm SURE she wants to take the test as a positive tool to furthering your relationship. If you discover any stumbling blocks along the way I'm sure you guys will talk about them and work them out. She sounds like she wants to have a healthy relationship and is making an effort in that direction. This can only be a GOOD thing! Chill and take the test, it will open up some good communication and bring you two closer!
    Be sure to post back the result.....inquiring minds want to know!

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 09:11 AM   #3
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    I will do so, rosequartz.

    If the test brings out something that needs to be discussed, then I should welcome it, because I really DO want to have a healthy relationship, regardless of who it is with. I want to do things different than before.

    If I had a fault, in the previous relationship, it may have been that I was too passive, not wanting conflict. But I know that such a "relationship" is unhealthy. I've been too passive for far too long, and that HAS to change. If that means more uncomfortable discussions, then so be it.

    Thank you for your encouragement, rosequartz!

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    Old 04-03-2009, 09:26 AM   #4
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    Just remember that this is going to be part of your permanent record as well and I am not so sure that I would take it. Girlfriends come and go and if you aren't even engaged or the wedding is eminent then I would not. For some reason this counselor has decided that you too must be evaluated for whatever test is to be taken and I for one would be asking what kind of test is this. Is it a typical test for depression? or what?... because I haven't heard of a standard test to see if you are compatible. Or is it a standard depression test...at any rate before I committed I would find out the exact name of this test that was going to be taken. I think your current girlfriend should concentrate on herself and she will have to learn to judge her potential mate on her own rather that her therapist doing it for her. Remember this test and this mental health record will be part of you life and it will always be out there for insurance companies to look at....and possibly future employers. So if she decides from this test she doesn't want you then what? Although this seems innocent enough there is very rarely privacy in medical records anymore and this is not something I would want out there just because this gal wants you to.

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 09:46 AM   #5
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    good point.....is this just some magazine type quiz
    or will this be part of a medical record.....
    if so, I might re-consider too.....

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 09:59 AM   #6
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    Yes, it IS a good point. I will make sure it isn't something that is placed in a medical record, but just a personal thing. I wouldn't want any test being placed in a record about who I am, that is for certain. Having said that, . . . it is probably not clinical, but just something that a CHRISTIAN counseling office would produce. I don't plan on giving my name, information, or whatever, as that would be unnecessary. Answering some questions I can do.

    You bring up another good point about her needing to decide on her own, rather than the results of a test. I will make sure that things are placed in perspective.

    Thanks for bringing it up because I may not have thought to ask!
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    Last edited by EDC_Light; 04-03-2009 at 10:04 AM.

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 10:01 AM   #7
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    I don't really think it's such a big deal. I think sometimes tests like that can actually help a relationship. It may help you see where you guys are different and what areas you can work on. It can also help you see what areas are strong and how you are alike.

    I bought a book recently that's "1001 questions to ask before you got married". My boyfriend and I are reading it just for fun, but it's a very good book. Some of the questions are stupid, but many of them are questions you would never think to ask. It's really helped us analyze our relationship and see if we're on the same page. If we answer questions differently, it gives us a chance to discuss the topic and learn more about one another, and approach how our differences may affect us in the future.

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 10:05 AM   #8
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    There is no way for people to find out about it. The counselor doesn't have the power to put anything on EDC's medical record. Counselors don't have the power to put anything on anyone's permanent medical record. The information they get and take is for their own records, but it doesn't leave their office. The only person who MAY have the power to access medical records is a psychiatrist, but not a regular counselor.

    Just want to add, if your girlfriend is using an HMO or another type of insurance, it is possible that it would go on HER medical records. But, if she is paying for her counseling on her own (in other words, private counseling), then nothing should even be on her medical records because there is no reason to "keep tabs" on her for insurance purposes.

    Last edited by Administrator; 04-09-2009 at 01:48 PM. Reason: address only the thread originator: do not post side discussion.

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 10:06 AM   #9
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    is this something she will bring home and you will do at your leisure?
    or is this something you will go to the counsellors office and do there?
    whatever you do, don't give your insurance card or your SS# !!
    I might even wear a disguise.....just kidding!

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 10:17 AM   #10
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    This test is one that she will bring for me to do in my spare time, and there is no cost for the test. So, yeah, I don't plan on giving anything other than my first name for this test. We aren't engaged, so it isn't a step in pre-marital counseling, so if it gives us insights into each other, and areas that need to be worked on, then it could be beneficial.

    The concern here is very appreciated though!!

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    Old 04-03-2009, 10:21 AM   #11
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    don't even give your real name.......
    use Darth Vadar or something like that.....
    LOL

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 10:22 AM   #12
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
    don't even give your real name.......
    use Darth Vadar or something like that.....
    LOL
    LOL . . . . . I will say, . . . "Bond. . . . . . .JAMES Bond!"
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    Old 04-03-2009, 11:20 AM   #13
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by EDC_Light View Post
    LOL . . . . . I will say, . . . "Bond. . . . . . .JAMES Bond!"
    haha!!!
    thanks for the laugh!

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 12:19 PM   #14
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    Okay, after lunch, I asked her a little more about the test, and now have a copy of it. I is "The Adjective Check List". It has two pages of characteristics that I select the ones that I see myself as having. Normally, a person, who takes this test, does that part, then the next part is "where I want to see myself in the future", but for this test, I am supposed to mark the characteristics that I would like in her.

    True, it's a bit weird, but I'm willing to see where it goes.
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    Old 04-03-2009, 01:15 PM   #15
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    Re: Girlfriend wants me to take a "personality test" with her.

    ok sounds harmless enough.....proceed.... BOND.....James Bond.....LOL

     
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