It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • What happens when a guy turns 30?

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 04-10-2009, 11:04 AM   #1
    pisces82
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    pisces82's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2008
    Location: charlotte, nc, us
    Posts: 37
    pisces82 HB User
    Question What happens when a guy turns 30?

    I've been dating a guy that just turned 30 a couple weeks ago. He told me that he was depressed about it, although when speaking with him he sounded fairly happy. I did notice that he seemed somewhat distant the weekend of, but it just makes me wonder if 30 is a really big deal for guys and what they go through. For instance, do they feel different pressures or how significant is this to them? I don't know if there's any way I can help him with this or if I should just let it be.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 04-10-2009, 11:13 AM   #2
    Redneon82
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Redneon82's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2007
    Location: California
    Posts: 2,093
    Redneon82 HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    It's different for all people. Some of my friends got depressed when they turned 30, some 40. I didn't, but I'm kind of dreading 50, because then I'll be old! Not really, but still, it affects people in different ways at different ages.

    With men, it seems to be that they realize that young women won't be attracted to them anymore (wrong, many young women love older men) or that they are losing their hair, their chest has fallen into their stomachs, etc. Of course, at 30 your guy won't experience that yet, but maybe he really enjoyed his 20s and realizes they are gone forever.

    My guy's birthday is next week, and he was very depressed yesterday. He HATES getting older, would have stayed 22 forever if he could have, and really takes it personally that he's older when he doesn't want to be. He gets mean around his birthday every year, to the point where I almost don't want to spend it with him! Funny thing is, I'm 7 years older than him and don't get all upset on my birthday, but he gets mean and cranky.

    There's not much you can do other than let him know he's just as attractive as he has always been and you don't see him any differently. As time goes on, he'll learn to accept getting older because really...there's nothing you can do about it, right? If he can't accept it, then he'll remain depressed and he might need help. But if he's just in a little bit of a funk and he gets over it in a couple of days, I wouldn't worry too much.

     
    Old 04-10-2009, 12:32 PM   #3
    pendulum
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Apr 2007
    Location: Florianópolis, Brazil
    Posts: 3,933
    pendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    There's some social pressure for a man between 30 and 40 to find a stable job, buy a house, marry and start a family, among other things. He is no longer a "young" man, although he may look like one. Perhaps your bf is unconsciously aware of his social obligations and responsibilities as an adult man from now on. Maybe that is the main cause of his depression. There is not much you can do, save remind him that everybody must go through this and that each stage in one's life has its own challenges.

     
    Old 04-10-2009, 12:40 PM   #4
    Jess75
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Jess75's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2004
    Location: Pa
    Posts: 2,394
    Jess75 HB UserJess75 HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    One of the many reasons may be because he won't feel as attractive to younger women as much anymore.(there aren't very many young women who like older men, the girls in their 20's like to stick to the hotties who are in their 20's which makes sense). It's kind of sad, but oh so true.
    Although men AND women are still very attractive in their 30's so that shouldn't be an issue with dating people around their age, but it seems to be the main reason why men hate turning 30.

    Last edited by Jess75; 04-10-2009 at 12:49 PM.

     
    Old 04-10-2009, 01:00 PM   #5
    AnnD
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jan 2002
    Posts: 2,365
    AnnD HB UserAnnD HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    Since he really wasn't depressed about it then there really isn't an answer. We all say things like that...we have birthday cards for over the hill at any age it is just expected you say something about being another year older but after all it is just another day. It is rare if you ever see or hear an adult happy about being another year older...we pretty much all/male or female have something negative to say about being another year older...but it doesn't really mean anything.

     
    Old 04-10-2009, 04:54 PM   #6
    sunnyrise
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Sep 2006
    Location: united states
    Posts: 637
    sunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    I have no idea about how a guy feels when they turn 30, I just know that when I turned 30 it didn't bother me. Even when I turned 50 it didn't bother me.. Perhaps because I was dating a guy at that time that also turned 50 3 days before me.. Now I'm 52 and there are days where I feel 16, and then there are days when I feel 90!!

    My attitude (after I turned 20) was that age is just a number.. I know people in their 60's who act like they are 12 years old and I know people in their 30's who are so mature..

    Sorry, I wish I could be of more help.. Maybe some guys will chime in.

    Sunny

     
    Old 04-11-2009, 03:45 PM   #7
    writeleft
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Aug 2008
    Posts: 5,099
    writeleft HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    Everyone handles aging in a different way. I personally enjoy every milestone in my life, and celebrate each birthday as another accomplishment. Becoming 30 is just the same as turning 29 or 31.

    The 30's are a great phase of life, if you ask me. It's all about choosing what attitude you want to create for yourself, and that goes for everything.

    I have been struggling with major health issues for many years, and everyday I get to spend with my family and friends is a great day. I am approaching 50 myself, and I plan to make it.

    if your man has the fortune of good health, he should be grateful...age doesn't matter.

     
    Old 04-11-2009, 05:13 PM   #8
    Seraph
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jan 2007
    Location: Australia
    Posts: 5,440
    Seraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    Did he have a party? Some special thing to mark his milestone? If not, maybe he was just down because it didn't feel special. I found thirty to be fairly scary - no more twenty-something young thing, actually a grownup aaarrgh! It is not a bad thing to stop and reflect on where life is heading and what your goals are from now on. Sera.

     
    Old 04-12-2009, 08:16 AM   #9
    Hoop
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    Hoop's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2003
    Location: Rocking IN. USA
    Posts: 1,046
    Hoop HB UserHoop HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    You should just let it be. There is not much you can do about it. Maybe suggest he start wearing diapers again to make him feel younger. hehe

    These age milestones seem to be nothing more than stopping points along the path of life designed to measure an individual's level of insecurity.
    Like... do i need to lose weight?... get a face lift?... botox?.. hair? implants...ummm butt implants and the like?

    Also, you should not let on to him that someday... like the rest of us.. he will pass on.

    " I'm not too sexy for my shirt"
    " I'm not too sexy for my shirt"
    " I'm less sexy without my shirt"
    " I'm too sexy for this board"

    HOOP! (the world is in bad "shape")

     
    Old 04-12-2009, 05:48 PM   #10
    pisces82
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    pisces82's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2008
    Location: charlotte, nc, us
    Posts: 37
    pisces82 HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    Thank you all for your replies Seraph, he didn't have a party b/c he didn't want one...I basically just let him be that weekend b/c that seemed to be what he wanted and I'm one to let him have any space he might need. Hoop, ty for your funny reply, it made me laugh I think I will let him know he can start wearing diapers, but he'll probably get offended and tell me he's not elderly (even if I didn't mean it that way lol).

     
    Old 04-13-2009, 01:47 AM   #11
    MTripp
    Newbie
    (male)
     
    MTripp's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Apr 2009
    Location: Chicago, IL
    Posts: 8
    MTripp HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by pendulum View Post
    There's some social pressure for a man between 30 and 40 to find a stable job, buy a house, marry and start a family, among other things. He is no longer a "young" man, although he may look like one. Perhaps your bf is unconsciously aware of his social obligations and responsibilities as an adult man from now on. Maybe that is the main cause of his depression. There is not much you can do, save remind him that everybody must go through this and that each stage in one's life has its own challenges.
    Very well said. Each man goes through different points in his life where he feels the pressures of his age. We all have certain goals we wished we would make when we are teens. Later in life we have to deal with the ones we have made and the ones yet to attain. Also we factor in the ones that are not possible any more and it makes you think about how much longer you have to live. BTW anyone who says they don't want a party is lying. We may say that because we dont think we will have that many people there. Next time you boyfriend has a birthday make it a big occasion. This way he can see he has a good life by seeing all the great people in his life.

     
    Old 04-13-2009, 04:31 AM   #12
    sunnyrise
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Sep 2006
    Location: united states
    Posts: 637
    sunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB Usersunnyrise HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    Oh goodness, I am 52 years young and I never wanted a BD party and that's the truth!! I had a Sweet Sixteen with lots of people and I hated it! I prefer one on one's with my special guy.. That's me.

    I don't beleive everyone fits into a mold. :-)

    Sunny

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 03:21 PM   #13
    BCboy
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Apr 2009
    Location: battle creek, mi, us
    Posts: 143
    BCboy HB User
    Re: What happens when a guy turns 30?

    I personally flipped out! I thought my life was over, no more fun, no more irresponsibility ect... I was wrong of coarse but it's a mental hurdle and some people take it harder than others. Just support him and nuture his feelings in a positive and maybe lighthearted way.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    What words or statements have hurt you the most? Hurtin4Certain Fibromyalgia 66 12-31-2008 03:47 AM
    Girlfriend seems to have no sex drive anymore, what to do?.... jji1984 Birth Control 43 02-03-2008 12:27 PM
    What next? spinal cyst..... TheMamaLisa Spinal Cord Disorders 4 04-22-2007 04:05 PM
    tonsillectomy & adenoidectomy, what to expect suthrngrace Children's Health 5 10-12-2006 07:37 PM
    Boyfriend joining the Air Force- what should i do!? lexla Relationship Health 6 05-23-2005 03:41 PM
    what do they do when 1 twin dies inutero? hayley0610 Pregnancy 4 03-16-2005 08:37 PM
    what does fainting feel like? sahaira Anxiety 12 03-05-2005 05:30 PM
    What's wrong with me? TawnyToad Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 1 09-28-2003 06:57 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:24 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!