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  • Signs of a Needy Person

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    Old 05-03-2009, 01:32 PM   #1
    Laye
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    Signs of a Needy Person

    Does anyone agree?

    Texting, phoning, telling the person what you're doing even before you meet.

    Saying how crazy you are for you after the first date.

    Asking for some conversations over the phone even before you meet.

    Once you meet you then tell them that the ball is in your court. If you are interested then you can call..but they call you anyways in two days. Totally disregarding that.

    Then getting upset when you're not available to them and letting you know they need to have regualr contacts with you..only after the first date.

     
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    Old 05-03-2009, 05:49 PM   #2
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    Maybe the person just found you exciting to talk to and you made them comfortable. When you met they found you to be that person. Now they act like that because they want to show you they are very interested.

     
    Old 05-03-2009, 05:52 PM   #3
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    some of those are signs of a needy person, but I don't think wanting to talk on the phone a little before you meet is needy. It's just smart.....maybe you will find you're not all that compatable and you won't waste your time.

     
    Old 05-03-2009, 09:28 PM   #4
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laye View Post
    Does anyone agree?

    Texting, phoning, telling the person what you're doing even before you meet..
    Depends. Could be needy, could just be trying to make conversation. We'd have to know the context.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laye View Post
    Saying how crazy you are for you after the first date..
    I take it this is a guy you met online and have texted and emailed and phoned but not met yet? Mmmmmm, opinions will differ on this one, but in my opinion, yes, a bit needy, especially if it hasn't been that long and communication has been friendly but relatively superficial.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laye View Post
    Asking for some conversations over the phone even before you meet.
    "I think I'd love to get together with you, give me a call so we can chat in real life!" No, not necessarily needy. "I know we're supposed to meet day after tomorrow but I just couldn't wait!! I had to talk to you!!" yes, a little needy.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laye View Post
    Once you meet you then tell them that the ball is in your court. If you are interested then you can call..but they call you anyways in two days. Totally disregarding that.
    Anytime you set a boundary on the relationship and the other person disregards that, that is a big red flag.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laye View Post
    Then getting upset when you're not available to them and letting you know they need to have regualr contacts with you..only after the first date.
    This last one is concerning. I think this one crosses the line from needy into controling. If it were me, I'd break it off, but if you want to give him a little more time, proceed with extreme caution.

     
    Old 05-04-2009, 01:39 PM   #5
    Laye
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    He told me he would not call me. He'd wait for me to call him if I were interested. Then he went ahead and called me anyways. He is very impatient. I could sense that right away. I'm not going to see him. He is a little too intense for my liking. It was like he was expecting so much from me before we ever got to know one another. I was willing to see him again to give him a chance at least..but he made those demands on me. Kind of scary in my opinion.

     
    Old 05-04-2009, 05:18 PM   #6
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laye View Post
    He told me he would not call me. He'd wait for me to call him if I were interested. Then he went ahead and called me anyways. He is very impatient. I could sense that right away. I'm not going to see him. He is a little too intense for my liking. It was like he was expecting so much from me before we ever got to know one another. I was willing to see him again to give him a chance at least..but he made those demands on me. Kind of scary in my opinion.
    Good. I think that's the best thing, listen to your gut. God gave us women's intuition for a reason.

     
    Old 05-04-2009, 05:39 PM   #7
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    he probably is perverted and wants nothing more than to get into your pants....get rid of him asap.

    you ever watch Dateline NBC, Chris Hanson reports on these men talking to youg girls on the internet, actually meeting them at there own house for only one reason, then they try to get out of it but its to late after Chris gets thru talking to them ''interviewing them...the cops are waitong out side, and these men are taken into custody arrested and book sent to jail for a long time.

     
    Old 05-04-2009, 07:12 PM   #8
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    Too intense. I've experienced that before and it's extremely annoying, especially if you're independent. You don't need something like that dragging you down and I'm glad you're following your instincts. Just like LarryLou'smom said.
    I knew someone who was like that and it turned into whining: "I need you, I miss you" he'd say in a whining way. Arg....I can definitely do without that.
    He was needy, clingy and just plain bothersome!

     
    Old 05-05-2009, 03:30 PM   #9
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    IMO it's all relative to the people involved. One persons needy is another persons attentive. Too much physcobabble these days everything is a disorder or a label to attach negative actions towards someone. What I might consider needy the next guy might not and vice versa.
    Because somone likes to talk to their SO everyday makes them needy? It just all depends on the people and the perceived severity IMO.

     
    Old 05-05-2009, 03:34 PM   #10
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laye View Post
    He told me he would not call me. He'd wait for me to call him if I were interested. Then he went ahead and called me anyways. He is very impatient. I could sense that right away. I'm not going to see him. He is a little too intense for my liking. It was like he was expecting so much from me before we ever got to know one another. I was willing to see him again to give him a chance at least..but he made those demands on me. Kind of scary in my opinion.
    This IMO is not needy persay but is trouble in a different way. IMO it looks like he is more interested in just a relationship not a relationship with you. Like you stated there was no progression just jumping in with both feet.
    Usually guys like this have been without women or never had many interested so they feel this intensity on their part will secure what they desire nevermind they hardly know the person they apply this too.

     
    Old 05-05-2009, 07:25 PM   #11
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    That is exactly what it felt like. He was acting like we were in an exclusive relationship and we had met once. When I was not available to him on the only night he was free that is when he made his demands and said he needed more. He also told me he likes being in relationships. But he hardly knew me and the funny thing is I was willing to see him in person again..but he blew it. Big time! There were other red flags that I saw fairly soon. The truth is I think he's a bit of a narcisscist. He has all the behaviors of one. He monopolized the conversations making it all about himself. And he talked poorly of his ex wife. I can understand that being in a relationship for awhile. But not on the first date. She is the mother of his child. That was a big red flag for me. You just don't do that. I didn't do that with my ex. Never would I discuss that stuff with someone I hardly knew.

    He's a freak..I'm glad I never responed to him.

     
    Old 05-06-2009, 04:05 PM   #12
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    Hollaatchaboy had some really good advice and I pretty much agree with him. Everyone is very different and some people need more than others.
    Nevertheless Laye, most of what you are describing makes him sound like he's something of a possesive controller, which is dangerous and something you really don't want to have anything to do with.
    It's very wise to follow your instincts and do what makes you comfortable.

     
    Old 05-10-2009, 07:39 PM   #13
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    Everything on that list is strange, except the phone conversations thing.

    If you want to date someone who is like an FBI agent and needs to know your business 24/7 is something you want, then by all means go for it.

    If you enjoy your freedom, and like doing things without your potential gf/bf sometimes then run..run away fast, this has trouble written all over it.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Laye View Post
    Does anyone agree?

    Texting, phoning, telling the person what you're doing even before you meet.

    Saying how crazy you are for you after the first date.

    Asking for some conversations over the phone even before you meet.

    Once you meet you then tell them that the ball is in your court. If you are interested then you can call..but they call you anyways in two days. Totally disregarding that.

    Then getting upset when you're not available to them and letting you know they need to have regualr contacts with you..only after the first date.

     
    Old 05-13-2009, 01:17 PM   #14
    cathy1
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    Run for the hills. This man sounds controlling. NOthing wrong with talking on the phone before you meet someone but the rest of it all put together sounds like he'd be smothering.

     
    Old 05-23-2009, 11:14 AM   #15
    Laye
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    Re: Signs of a Needy Person

    I ran. I stopped it all. The more I think about him the more creeped out I become. Are there any good men left in the world???? Where are they? Why do people think they can act like that? I mean..I'm human. We all are. We all have flaws..but it seems harder and harder to find somone who fits. The people who have are lucky beyond words.

     
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