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  • Please help me. So alone. Out of control boyfriend.

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    Old 05-12-2009, 08:55 PM   #16
    floating-gal
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    Thank you

    Thanks so much to those who replied.

    I am still determined to leave if it stays like this, though it is hard. It seems like it should be so easy. I know I can't live like this, with this anxiety and fear, jumping every time I hear the key in the door.

    I know I should go back to the UK. My parents are divorced and no longer live there, so there is no family home there. My best friends actually live in Paris but I wouldn't want to live there again. And It's hard after putting 12-hour days into a business for the last 18 months and finally see it do well and then say goodbye.

    We have enrolled in anger management sessions. I have to give it a last try. I find it hard to say goodbye to the last 10 years of my life. I feel like I can't remember who I was before knowing him. I truly hope that it will help. I know the odds are not good, but the anger issues are the main thing that is destroying us.

    I am so sorry that some of you had to deal with physical violence. My BF has definitely been aggressive but not violent. When I hear about other men, I sometimes think that maybe he isn't that bad...compared to others, though I know this is very flawed reasoning. I wish that wonderful side could be there all the time, but it seems with his personality, it is at the expense of his awful side. I know I am his figurative punching-bag, and it has to stop.

    I am slowly doing things to figure out a plan to be alone. Looking up apartments, preparing a solo-project, career options. I hope I either won't need it or I will have the strength to put it into action.

    So here I am again. Petrified of him coming home, knowing I will be harrassed. It is the Biggest Loser finale tonight-I will definitely be harrassed tonight as he knows I love that show and want to watch the finale in peace-I don't think his personality will allow it. Especially if it involves him having to respect my space or my needs. It's funny-even little things like this become big issues.

    Anyway, thank you for your support. I take it very seriously even though I know I am not yet doing the write thing. I am really inspired by your stories of escape and hope I will be writing my own some day.



    Thank you again.

    Floating Gal

     
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    Old 05-13-2009, 06:59 AM   #17
    dolejaly
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    Re: Please help me. So alone. Out of control boyfriend.

    Yes, it is very easy to be on the outside and say walk, but as with most that have already been down that road such as myself, didn't just say to myself one day " I am leaving"...It took a little bit, and it sounds like with looking into options such as own place, business, and all that you are planning in some ways already...Yes, it takes time to put it all in place...Another idea is use a friends address and open a bank account and start stashing money so when you do decide to leave you are not leaving empty handed. It took me a few months before I could finally put everything into action.

    Just remember you are the one that helps hold that business together and you done it once and you can do it again. I wish you well on everything. Also remember you need to stop looking for excuses of why you should stay just like the coment of other womens men are worse....remember all situations are different and so are the women in them...

     
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