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  • Best way to ask if she wants a relationship?

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    Old 08-10-2009, 03:57 PM   #1
    Excder
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    Best way to ask if she wants a relationship?

    There is a girl i asked out to lunch about a week an a half ago. Last friday me an her went to dinner. It went great and i took her back home. She still lives wither her parents(shes 18, just starting college). I would have tried to seal the deal and kiss her good night but i had to go in and meet her dad. wasnt gonna kiss his daughter in front of him lol Met her mom earlier. Once i left i started thinking. She is about 5 months out of a pervious 2 year relations ship so maybe being so blunt and just kissing her would not have been the right move.

    So i guess my questions is next time i take her out should i just go for it or should i like try and figure out what she wants first? I mean i have no problem saying "so am i going out with you to be friends or or you looking for something or not?" even though that is kinda blunt, just an example/

    Kinda dumb question i know but THANKS!

     
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    Old 08-10-2009, 04:13 PM   #2
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    Re: Best way to ask if she wants a relationship?

    Hi Excder, So you have had two dates with an 18 year old gal, who is just starting college, and lives at home...You just met both of her parents for the first time, and you want to ask her if she wants a relationship...right?

    I think it is way to early for you to know that you want a relationship, based on two dates in one week. May I ask you age? I would not go into this situation so quickly. Coming on too strong and too fast is not a good way to get to know someone. Particularly when she is off to college, and living under her parents roof.

     
    Old 08-10-2009, 07:51 PM   #3
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    Re: Best way to ask if she wants a relationship?

    Thanks for your reply! I'm 20 and going into my second year of college. I'm no t gonna lie and say I'm a pro at any of this relationship stuff. I will take your advise tho and slow things down, appreciate it

     
    Old 08-10-2009, 09:30 PM   #4
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    Re: Best way to ask if she wants a relationship?

    Relationships are never easy, and very few of us are that good at it, much less a pro! Particularly at your stage in life...the college years....Take your time, the most meaningful and lasting relationships are based on trust, acceptance, and mutual interests. If you find the two of you in that situation, then pursue it, gently and respectfully... I wish you the best!

     
    Old 08-27-2009, 10:30 AM   #5
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    Re: Best way to ask if she wants a relationship?

    Ok so i guess this is kinda an update to the question i asked like a couple weeks ago. Thanks Writeleft for your replys.

    Any who, i took your advise and have just kept talking to this girl and we've been out twice sense i posted this. Work and school are fun to compete time with, blah. I asked this girls best friend what she would advise and this is what she said..

    "ANd I doubt she wants a serious relationship right now cuz of the whole ex-bf(like 6 months apart now) thing but I can pretty much assure you that they are over. I think she likes you. The girl is very striaghtforward usually. She is a very independent person. I would maybe give it another week or two and let her get settled with her classes before looking for a relationship. But you should ask after the first week of classes or maybe second week. I thinik that would be a good time. Its nice to know where you stand with someone. The girl is kind of an independent person and rarely talks about how she fells deep down, but I can usually read her lol."

    SO thats what she advised. Its coming to the end of the first week and im getting to that point where i wanna know what her intentions are. Iv been patient for like 6 weeks and am getting to the point where i wanna know what the heck iv been doing this for. What do you advise me to do!!?? THANKS!!!!

     
    Old 08-27-2009, 10:48 AM   #6
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    Re: Best way to ask if she wants a relationship?

    So, you have seen her two more times...that is a good sign for sure. Have you had fun together, and felt comfortable? Why don't you ask her out again, and just ask her about her feelings regarding a possible relationship. Then you can go from there...if she is not looking for a committed relationship, you can then decide if you want to continue seeing her causally, or move on to someone else. You definitely have a legitimate question, but you must be prepared for her answer, either way. I wish you the best!

     
    Old 08-27-2009, 10:57 AM   #7
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    Re: Best way to ask if she wants a relationship?

    thanks. I like that lol

    Ill try and go out with her this weekend(work providing). We both have a blast when we go out. I mean iv been and seen people who are not having fun and how they hide it but we are having real, good fun. To be truthful my biggest concern i guess is how to ask her, and what to say to find out if she wants a relationship. I can ask her out no problem but when it comes to asking " ask her about her feelings regarding a possible relationship" <-- that question....well im not good at that. Can you offer some help there?

    And really, either way it goes down im prepared for it. If she says she wants one then awesome but if she says no im cool with that in the regard that there are a lot more girls out there and that if anything iv made a pretty good friend.

     
    Old 08-27-2009, 11:57 AM   #8
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    Re: Best way to ask if she wants a relationship?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Excder View Post
    Iv been patient for like 6 weeks and am getting to the point where i wanna know what the heck iv been doing this for.
    To me, this statement by you really screams impatience, which is really unattractive. She just got out of a relationship and just started college, personally I wouldn't be surprised if she just wanted to date around and not get serious right away. If there was one thing I could do over from when I was that age, it's that I would have dated around more instead of rushing into every relationship after only going on 3 or 4 dates. I don't think that's enough time to really decide whether you want to turn it into something serious yet, especially not at your ages.

    If you really want a relationship with her, I suggest you be patient and date her for a while. See if there's anything worth pursuing. You've only gone on 4 dates, I really don't think you even know her that well yet. And I think you're expecting too much too soon.

    There's nothing wrong with telling her you like spending time with her and everything but I wouldn't sit there giving her ultimatums at this point (you either be my gf or we're through) because I think she's still working through what happened with her last relationship.

    What's your big hurry anyway? You're only 20, she's only 18. I don't see what the big hurry is all about. I don't see why you can't just chill and go with the flow in this situation.

     
    Old 08-27-2009, 01:15 PM   #9
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    Re: Best way to ask if she wants a relationship?

    I'm with Tivo on this. My biggest regret in my love life is that I didn't date more guys. Too serious, too soon. Six weeks and 4 dates does not a relationship make. My high school bf and I went to the same college...such a regret now. We should have broken up, made lots of new friends, and enjoyed our youth, instead of being glued to each other for too long and not developing enough outside interests.

     
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