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  • ex wont let me be a part of daughter's life like i want

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    Old 08-17-2009, 08:38 AM   #1
    uscarolina's Avatar
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    ex wont let me be a part of daughter's life like i want

    i'm very frustrated and i dont know what to do.

    i have a 4 year old. my ex and i have been separated for over 3 years and we have both moved on. im engaged to a wonderful woman (who is absolutely adored by my little girl). my ex has moved on as well. she is 25 years and 7 months pregnant. she is carrying her 18 year old boyfriend's baby.

    i will try my best to state facts and gear towards the objective side of things. ever since me and my ex broke up she has been living with this boy's mother and his siblings. then she moved back in her grandmother's house. the 18 year old lives there too. we live in south carolina and since me and my ex were never married she has full custody of my daughter. we have miraculously in the past managed to agree on child support payments and visitations.

    i have tried to get my daughter in the past but unfortunately got laid off. i gave up hope for a little while since my ex, that bf and my daughter are living with the grandmother who has a good head on her shoulders. she calls regularly just to keep me updated. my ex and her bf are always on the go and my daughter is either alone with the grandmother or with me and my fiancee.

    the problem arrives today. its my daughter's open house and first day is coming up. i want to be a part of this event however my ex is purposely doing her best to exclude me because she wants to bring her bf. im just so angry. is this my only funtion? to pay childsupport and see my daughter yet not be a part of her life when i want to be?

    she refuses to talk. im so ready to drive down there and just beat the crap out of this boy. course my fiancee discouraged me and told me to cool off. i definitely would be arrested for battery. so im resorting to non violent therapy by joining healthboards.

    i was so furious with my ex i told her she wont see a dime from me and that from now on i want everything done thru court. she then retaliates back and says i will never see my daughter until court! i need to put my foot down in order to have some form of authority and says so! this is ridiculous! i cant even attend my daughter's first day nor orientation! i want to go there with her. my fiancee is mature enough to comprehend that this is about my daughter. she would be thrilled to have both me and my ex there. i dont even care if my ex brought her stupid 18 year old punk bf. but that is the problem, she doesnt want me there at all.

    my ex's grandmother and i even talked and the grandmother herself told my ex that she doesnt want her brining the 18 year old bf to my daughter's orientation! my ex is just so stupid and childish and lacks common sense i feel so hopeless and angry.

    she has even been telling my lil girl that this 18 year old boy is her STEP father! this boy doesnt work! has not finished school! he joins my ex and lives off of the grandmother! i wish yall knew how exhausted i am. i have never been so angry and frustrated! why cant i just have a normal ex who prioritizes OUR daughter rather than her selfish and childish needs!

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    Old 08-17-2009, 08:51 AM   #2
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    Re: ex wont let me be a part of daughter's life like i want

    you need to talk to a lawyer.....the sooner the better.

    you have rights....don't let her take them away from you

    Old 08-20-2009, 12:29 AM   #3
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    Re: ex wont let me be a part of daughter's life like i want

    The best approach to this, is to remain cool, calm, collected, and go through the proper legal channels to establish, and maintain your rights as a father. Acting out, beating people up, and being irrational are the last things you want when fighting for your children. Being stable, employed and capable of offering steadfast care of your children, financially, emotionally, socially and spiritually... is your best bet.

    Your children need a hero in their lives...make that hero be you! Best wishes.

    Old 08-20-2009, 04:16 AM   #4
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    Re: ex wont let me be a part of daughter's life like i want

    From the get go you should have done everything through the courts. Any and all child support you have paid probably isnt going to count unless you get a very open minded judge.
    You need to see a lawyer NOW and file NOW. The lawyer will fill you in on what your rights are and might even see that your home will be better for your child. More and more fathers are getting custody of their children now.
    As for the other issue why not go ahead and show up if you know where it will be. If you know where this event will be at call and find out the time and date. You don't need your ex's permission to attend. There are no court orders against it so go.
    Married 3/25/95
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    DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
    TTC #3 since 01/02

    Old 08-20-2009, 09:19 AM   #5
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    Re: ex wont let me be a part of daughter's life like i want

    Even If you get an attorney, I'm pretty sure that she will get full custody of your daughter and child support set up, simply the fact that your ex could file desertion on you not being involved with your daughters life, even if you where enemployed thats no excuse.

    you can't be mad at the b/f, the courts could care less about him he means nothing to a court. only if he harms your daughter abusive to her ect,,ect,,, but then you need to let the police get involved and cps (child protecive services), about the only thing you can do with an attorney is find out what your rights are as a father. ask him (attorney) about the six month common law marrige? guys maybe married and the both of you not realize that?
    or read up on the family code in your state or ...from the cps.

    unless she gets a court order(restraining) from family court stating that your not to come within 500 ft of your ex/daughter, if she don't have that then you have every right to attend any and all functions that your daughter has.

    it will be hard for you even with the best attorney to get full custody of your daughter if you have no proffe that your daughter is not being cared for or abused. but you may attain better and longer visitition.

    Don't be a fool and go beating up this b/f, if you get a domstic viloent charge aginst you and arrested..that will be on your record for as long as you live and the ex can play havac with that in court.

    you need hard core evidence that your ex is not taking proper care of your daughter , being abusive by the b/f or just being being left alone and is always with the grandmother.
    it would help you if you were married and have a home a happy home stable and an outstanding citizen of your commuintiy ect,,ect,,

    Last edited by chevyman; 08-20-2009 at 09:56 AM.

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