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  • Can the meds make you fall out of love?

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    Old 08-30-2009, 02:45 PM   #1
    VenusEnvy22
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    Unhappy Can the meds make you fall out of love?

    Hi all!

    I think my bipolar, OCD boyfriend's meds have dulled his feelings towards me. He was once so excited about me and our relationship...now it's like he doesn't even care if I'm in the room. The other night he told me he wanted to take a break--that he was feeling low and wanted to see if he could live without me. We live an hour apart and only see each other once or twice a week at best, so I know I haven't been smothering him. He tells me he still loves me, and that the break would do us some good. I disagree, but will give him his space. Meanwhile, I really think things would turn around if he were to lower his Prozac dosage (I'd love for him to quit completely and find an alternative), but I know he really likes it because he says it helps him focus more. I sent him a link to a few articles about SSRI's causing people to fall out of love, so all I can do is hope he reads them and follows up with his doctor.

    Has anyone felt this way on anti-depressants? One minute you're in love with your partner, the next you feel nothing? What is the best thing I can do for him while he sorts out his feelings and overcomes his depression? Should I leave him alone? Should I fight to stay in his life? I read in another thread about relationships that he could be trying to run me off because he thinks I'm too good for him and he can't give me the love I deserve (he has said this before). I've tried to tell him that I love him as is, and just want to be with him. I'm at a total loss on what to do. Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks

    Last edited by mod-anon; 08-31-2009 at 05:00 AM. Reason: merged threads from two Boards

     
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    Old 08-30-2009, 03:07 PM   #2
    VenusEnvy22
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    Unhappy Can antidepressants make you fall out of love?

    Hi all!

    I think my bipolar, OCD boyfriend's meds have dulled his feelings towards me. He was once so excited about me and our relationship...now it's like he doesn't even care if I'm in the room. The other night he told me he wanted to take a break--that he was feeling low and wanted to see if he could live without me. We live an hour apart and only see each other once or twice a week at best, so I know I haven't been smothering him. He tells me he still loves me, and that the break would do us some good. I disagree, but will give him his space. Meanwhile, I really think things would turn around if he were to lower his Prozac dosage (I'd love for him to quit completely and find an alternative), but I know he really likes it because he says it helps him focus more. I sent him a link to a few articles about SSRI's causing people to fall out of love, so all I can do is hope he reads them and follows up with his doctor.

    Has anyone felt this way on anti-depressants? One minute you're in love with your partner, the next you feel nothing? What is the best thing I can do for him while he sorts out his feelings and overcomes his depression? Should I leave him alone? Should I fight to stay in his life? I read in another thread about relationships that he could be trying to run me off because he thinks I'm too good for him and he can't give me the love I deserve (he has said this before). I've tried to tell him that I love him as is, and just want to be with him. I'm at a total loss on what to do. Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks

     
    Old 08-30-2009, 04:30 PM   #3
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    Re: Can antidepressants make you fall out of love?

    If the medication helps him and is making his life better, you honestly have no right to ask him to either give it up or change the dosage just so you can continue being his girlfriend. That's just not having his best interests in mind, it's having yours. I don't think you mean to ask him to sacrifice his emotional well-being just so you can still be his girlfriend...right?

    The best thing you can do for him would be to give him the space he needs after you've assured him you love him and will be there for him. He may or may not come back, but he has to do whats best for him right now. Perhaps when the medication "kicks in" and he's adjusted to it, he'll be ready for a relationship. And it not...then you have to make the choice of waiting for him or not.
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    Last edited by Redneon82; 08-30-2009 at 04:31 PM.

     
    Old 08-30-2009, 05:45 PM   #4
    VenusEnvy22
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    Re: Can antidepressants make you fall out of love?

    I understand your point, Redone82. But isn't being able to feel and receive love part of his well being? Obviously if he's depressed and pushing his loved ones away, Prozac isn't making his life better. The Prozac effect was just a theory I was exploring after reading similar stories in other forums. I'm not asking him to reconsider the drug for me, I'm asking him to reconsider it for him. Even if he ends up not wanting to be with me (which I am fully prepared to accept), at least he'll have the ability to love and be loved in return from someone else.

     
    Old 08-30-2009, 05:55 PM   #5
    Arby428
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    Re: Can the meds make you fall out of love?

    My experience was when I was first diagnosed with "just" major depression. I went on prozac, and it did help at first with my depression, but killed my sex life with the Mrs. I went from having a sex life to none at all.

    This is what I asked the pdoc about this.

    (the following may be crude to some. i apologize in advance.)




    So, I'm depressed, but I can still perform & get "some."

    On prozac, I feel somewhat better (mentally), but I couldn't "get it up."

    Now, with that said, I will then start spiraling down (mentally) and catastrophize this and become depressed again.

    So, why bother?

     
    Old 08-30-2009, 06:01 PM   #6
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    Re: Can antidepressants make you fall out of love?

    A friend of mine is OCD and has depression. His doc tried all sorts of meds on him, and although he said they sort of helped, cause he wasn't feeling depressed....at the same time, he didn't feel happy either. He kind of felt nothing. He said it was very hard to explain but he didn't like not being happy or sad or anything in between just existing. So that's why he quit taking those kind of meds.

    The thing is, if your bf doesn't see his feelings as a problem, then there isn't much you can do about it. I think it's very possible that his feelings may have changed due to the meds. But I don't think you can do anything. You should give him his space but also don't wait around for him. Personally for me, I wouldn't really want to date a guy with those kinds of issues because it's guaranteed heartbreak, but that's just me.

     
    Old 08-30-2009, 06:24 PM   #7
    VenusEnvy22
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    Re: Can the meds make you fall out of love?

    Thanks for replying Arby! Our sex life wasn't a huge issue for us since we both knew it was the meds. We would still "try," which can be just as fun.

    I'm talking more the Prozac hindering his ability to feel intense feelings of happiness--I know it stops the intense negative feelings and obsessive thoughts, which is awesome, but what about feeling blissfully happy?

    Which comes to your question of choosing one over the other. Damned if you do, damned if don't.

     
    Old 08-30-2009, 06:45 PM   #8
    Arby428
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    Re: Can the meds make you fall out of love?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by VenusEnvy22 View Post
    I read in another thread about relationships that he could be trying to run me off because he thinks I'm too good for him and he can't give me the love I deserve (he has said this before). I've tried to tell him that I love him as is, and just want to be with him.
    Sadly, those are my exact thoughts as well. I know my wife "settled" and have told her so on occasion. Each suicide attempt, I knew my wife & kids would find (and deserve) better.

     
    Old 09-12-2009, 07:14 PM   #9
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    Re: Can the meds make you fall out of love?

    I know what u are talking about!!! I take a mood stabilizer and anti-depressant and I feel like I could take or leave my husband of 20 years. I hate it.

    He has always been the love of my life and I do love him but I have no emotion to show it. At times I have really questioned whether I should stay or leave because I thought I should feel something. I have talked and talked to my dr. about it. He says that I need to relearn how to feel and really live in the moment instead of riding the emotional rollercoaster which at times, felt wonderful.

    I have threatened to come off my meds but my husband says that he does not want me to. The roller coaster was not fun to live with. So, I make a conscience effort to be loving, say I love you and keep the lines of communication wide open.

    Together, we are working thru it and I love him even more becasue of it.

     
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