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  • Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

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    Old 09-09-2009, 11:49 AM   #1
    writeleft
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    Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    Sheeeee's Baaaaack....

    My sister aged 51, has boomeranged back into her old bedroom at my elderly parents home...again. This time her story is weirder than most, but they just keep getting weirder.

    This time, she showed up on my parents porch, after being MIA for the last 2 months. The last we knew of her, she was living in a home 15 miles away, but never gave my mom the address, and her cell phone had been cut off. She had only moved in on August 1st.

    This is HER story, not to be confused with the truth.

    She had brain surgery on August 19th, but did not tell my mother. The folks at her house, (who were supposed to be college students, but now are alcoholic and gay), "forced her to take 2 Ambien and 2 Xanax", and she is now suing them. Someone from her church (?) came and got her, and took her back to the hospital, where she ended up with an abscess in her brain. Still, no call to our mother. From her second stay in the hospital, she was brought to an elderly couples home to recover (less than 2 miles from us). There was a heat wave while she was there, and the house was over 100 degrees, and the people could not hear her cry for help. All they ate was chicken, which was brought by whenever someone could. She was released still needing several IV's a day for the brain abscess, and lots of refrigerator space to keep the IV bags in. She was to give the IV's to herself, in a sterile environment. All her belongings were taken from her house by a church member, and are being stored in someones garage (again from the church).

    So, IV bags in hand, and with only the clothes on her back, she rings the doorbell, and my mother sweeps her off to her bedroom. That was day before yesterday. In this short time, my mother has begun to unravel.

    Once again, my mother and dad and I (and my family) are put aside for crazy woman sister. My mother suggested that I need to tell my sister that I don't hate her, it is hurting her to think I hate her!

    If a person can sign themselves up for brain surgery, don't you think they could check themselves in for a little mental health treatment? That is the least I can expect of her, but as long as my parents put up with her, the less that becomes a possibility.

    My only connection to all of this is trying to protect my elderly parents from her. She has already had a few elder abuse reports on her, including financial abuse on the elderly. The last time she was reported, my mother told the social worker that they would be fine, don't call us, we'll call you. Since my mother is so deep in denial, there really isn't anything I can do.

    Thank you for listening.

    Last edited by writeleft; 09-09-2009 at 11:56 AM.

     
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    Old 09-09-2009, 12:23 PM   #2
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    oh writeleft.....I'm so sorry she's at it again!
    I thought the last time she was out of your parents hair for good and they weren't taking her back......but I guess they can't say no to her.
    Do you really believe she had brain surgery? I don't......
    does she have a scar on her head?
    is it possible to have her checked into a mental health facility for observation?

     
    Old 09-09-2009, 12:48 PM   #3
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    Writeleft, why do you call her a sociopath? Who first gave the diagnosis?

     
    Old 09-09-2009, 12:59 PM   #4
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    Thank you Rose,

    Last time, after a short course of counseling, my parents did kick her out of the home (my parents rental) that she had been living in for 10 years, rent free. Since then, they spent two months cleaning, and just sold the house. She left from San Diego and disappeared to Colorado, "for the church", and that did not work out. She drove on to Arkansas to another "friends" house, but got there only to realize everyone there was out of work, and had no money...Duh! She supposedly got hit by an EAGLE, that damaged her car, and my mom sent her money for repairs. (An EAGLE?) Then she realized that it costs $70.00-100.00 a night to stay in hotels, so more money was needed. She returned to my parents house, then quickly got this house she was just "removed" from. She is totally out of control, and this whole "trip" has been one bad decision after another.

    The brain surgery is questionable to me. I asked about the shaved head, the stitches, the scar, and my mom said it already healed. WHAT? I don't believe a word she says, period. She does have a portal to her heart, whatever that means. Who has a brain abscess, and gives themselves IV's...ANYONE? I think not.

    I think my folks should MAKE my sister turn herself in for a mental health evaluation, before moving back into their home. My mother poo-poo'd the idea, worried that my sister will get "mad". I am disgusted, period.

    Thanks for listening, I do not get mad too often, and it always has to be about her-that sucks. I take charge of my complicated medical issues, and I think she should too.

     
    Old 09-09-2009, 01:02 PM   #5
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    Pendulum,

    I call her a sociopath, because she is diagnosed as one, and has been living the life of one (since childhood), and our family has been affected by one-HER. It is not a case of name calling, I promise. She has a classic case, textbook in fact.

    Last edited by writeleft; 09-09-2009 at 01:02 PM.

     
    Old 09-09-2009, 01:32 PM   #6
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    writeleft.....I think I might just call the authorities and say she threatened herself.....then they have to remove her for her own safety


    lie if you have to......the ends justifies the means in this case

     
    Old 09-09-2009, 07:09 PM   #7
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    That is the big dilemma Rose.

    I called when she threatened to blow her head off in my parents house, they got mad. I called on her when she committed elder abuse on my parents, they denied needing help. I called on her when she embezzled $17,000.00 on her elder employer (friends of my parents, that my mother set my sister up to work for), and when she was threatened with legal action, my parents paid the $17,000.00 to save face with their old friends. I called on her when she was impersonating FBI agent, police officer, and bounty hunter, and Irac War Veteran, still carrying bullets in her hip...at the neighborhood liquor store. She is a 51 year old woman, remember ?

    Is this one of those cases that everyone asks afterwards, "WHY didn't anybody do something"?

    The authorities give my parents the final say so, and the investigations have to be based on truth, or I could be considered the problem.

     
    Old 09-10-2009, 07:34 AM   #8
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    your sister is an adult.....I don't understand why they give your parents the final say so......she is responsible for her own actions, and if her actions are illegal, then she should be arrested....
    I'd keep calling anonomously.....

     
    Old 09-10-2009, 07:39 AM   #9
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    I'll be keeping a close eye on the situation, just waiting for a chance to call on her again. Thank you Rose...

     
    Old 09-10-2009, 03:11 PM   #10
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    I think I am realizing what part of this I am most concerned about....

    As my parents have gotten much older, and frailer, I am the one who watches out for them. I speak to my mother every morning, and she tells me her plans for the day, and then later in the evening, after her nap, and before dinner. I live a mile away, and often visit, drop things off, pick things up, help them with things. My mother is in early stages of Alzheimer's, and she likes a very set routine.

    With sister dropping in with all of her tales, and her problems, I loose contact with my mom. She cannot talk to me everyday, like she always does...

    That is what hurts me. I worry about her very much. By the time sister flies the coop again, my mom will be a complete nervous wreck, and fall apart. Ouch!

     
    Old 09-10-2009, 05:51 PM   #11
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    I've followed your story enough that you have my deepest sympathies. I don't think people realize how reluctant the police are to do anything where people who they consider "non-criminals" are concerned. When my Mom was in the early stages of AZ we could not get them to listen when we said she should not be driving. It took registered letters that could be pointed to after an accident to get them to even begin to listen. You do have to play your cards carefully or the "next time" (heaven forbid) they might blow off your concerns even more.

    Now, about your sister. Did she actually have the bags of IV solution? How do you get those if it's not a real situation? (Are they labeled? Anyone who might be in the house who could tell you what they say?) Brain surgery does not seem likely but I'm wondering about something else. People who use drugs are susceptible to a heart infection that requires long term antibiotic treatments to recover. Does she had a history of recreational drug usage? I could actually see her having something like that and embellishing it into brain surgery.

    My favorite part of her story was the 2 ambien and 2 xanax. Huh? Do her stories always have goofy little details like this tossed in?

    How's your Dad? Would it be possible for your Mom to come for nightly visits, even if it's just for an hour or so in the evenings to unwind at your place. You are absolutely correct that having a routine is very, very important to AZ patients. Without it they can get turned around very easily. And stress brings the disease stronger.

    I'm sorry for this burden. Your sister is a mess. But I have to tell you, it sounds like your Mom is a dear.

    Last edited by resolution09; 09-10-2009 at 05:52 PM.

     
    Old 09-10-2009, 08:06 PM   #12
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by resolution09 View Post
    I've followed your story enough that you have my deepest sympathies. I don't think people realize how reluctant the police are to do anything where people who they consider "non-criminals" are concerned. When my Mom was in the early stages of AZ we could not get them to listen when we said she should not be driving. It took registered letters that could be pointed to after an accident to get them to even begin to listen. You do have to play your cards carefully or the "next time" (heaven forbid) they might blow off your concerns even more.

    Now, about your sister. Did she actually have the bags of IV solution? How do you get those if it's not a real situation? (Are they labeled? Anyone who might be in the house who could tell you what they say?) Brain surgery does not seem likely but I'm wondering about something else. People who use drugs are susceptible to a heart infection that requires long term antibiotic treatments to recover. Does she had a history of recreational drug usage? I could actually see her having something like that and embellishing it into brain surgery.

    My favorite part of her story was the 2 ambien and 2 xanax. Huh? Do her stories always have goofy little details like this tossed in?

    How's your Dad? Would it be possible for your Mom to come for nightly visits, even if it's just for an hour or so in the evenings to unwind at your place. You are absolutely correct that having a routine is very, very important to AZ patients. Without it they can get turned around very easily. And stress brings the disease stronger.

    I'm sorry for this burden. Your sister is a mess. But I have to tell you, it sounds like your Mom is a dear.
    Resolution,

    I am much more used to responding to threads, than to start them, but I would be silly to overlook the chance to get advice from those I respect.

    To answer your questions:

    Yes, my mother confirms she is storing and using IV bags several times a day, but my mother does not know the contents. She did have a visiting nurse come by to change the stint, or the port, or whatever you call it. She mentions that it is placed near her heart. She has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, and anything is possible. Embellishing is an art to her. She can turn a ant into an elephant without blinking an eye.

    The ambien/xanex thing is ridiculous to me too. She can find a lawsuit in every situation, but she always looses. There are always bizarre details with every story, things so obscure, you wonder where in this world they come from.

    My dad has no choice but go along with my mother, while she is his lifeline too, his wife of 63 years. My dad is the Captain of the ship, but my mom is the Admiral. My dad is a decorated veteran of WWII, Korea and Vietnam but she is the one who kept everything together at home, wherever in the world that was.

    Thank you for recognizing my mother as the sweetest woman in the world. That is one thing in this whole story that is based on pure truth.

    Thanks again for listening.

     
    Old 09-11-2009, 06:18 PM   #13
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    wow.
    I'm racking my brain for anything you could do...because something needs to be done. obviously it'd be best for your sister to be in inpatient treatment. Also, I think your mom needs some therapy as well. It sounds like she's dealt with your sister so long that she's fallen into the trap of believing her...I'm sure your sister knows exactly what to say to convince your mom.
    Like someone else said, step one is to get your sister out of the house and into proper care (god knows you have documented evidence that she needs it) and then RIGHT away get your mom some help. It seems as if your dad might be a little more rational about things than your mom? If that's the case, have you tried to take him aside to run this all by him? I'm sure he doesn't like seeing his wife taken advantage of like this.
    And...I don't know... she CAN be forcefully committed can't she? If she's at risk for harming herself AND others? If that's true, i'd say go with it.
    Wow... horrible. Bottom line, do what you have to do.

    big hugs

     
    Old 09-11-2009, 06:22 PM   #14
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    Also, because she is a sociopath, you know this isn't the end and that something is brewing and can erupt at any time...I'd hate for you and your family have to be the victims of her next...whatever.

     
    Old 09-11-2009, 06:59 PM   #15
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    Re: Sociopath Sister Strikes Again!

    This sucks. I've been looking all over the web for treatment for sociopaths...nothing. Or next to nothing. It makes me so angry when a segment of our population that suffers from any mental illness goes ignored. *shaking head*

     
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