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secretsmiles 01-10-2010 04:44 PM

My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
Hey, I have small breasts (*almost* flat) and I feel a bit down to be honest. For starters I've never met a guy who likes small breasts better, and I surveyed some guys online and they all agreed that they prefer big boobs simply because there is more boob there and because it's more appealing visually (and also because of boob f...).

Well, even my boyfriend prefers big boobs better, I once joked and asked him "Well I don't think you'd mind it if I had bigger boobs, right?" and he just smirked and said nothing... also because I've seen that when he watches porn he looks at pictures and videos of soft core, busty models. He doesn't watch hardcore porn, so it's not for the acts =/ He just likes getting off to these videos of girls stripping and showing really big breasts. Also all his celebrity crushes have big breasts, like Katy Perry, Salma Hayek and Monica Bellucci.

I feel a bit low right now, how can I love my boobs despite the whole "big boob" craze from males? It honestly sucks, since I can't even give a decent boob f... =/

I know it doesn't matter to some guys (probably my boyfriend) but it sucks to know he likes fantasizing about boobs like those models (I've seen them) and that he'd like it if mine were bigger. I'm so tired of always seen busty chicks in men's magazines, etc., it gets old and while I know my self esteem is MY responsibility it really, really sucks to see that everywhere even when I don't want to!

It also sucks that I get less attention than my bustier counterparts, even if we're similar in other body features or even if I have a prettier face! I mean I know being stared at must be really annoying, but I guess it's one of those female experiences I feel left out of... like when some girl will be "Oh, so many guys stare at me it's so annoying!" well, I can't relate and it sucks! And just like committed guys like looking and checking out other women (my boyfriend does this), I, as a committed girl, would like being checked out since it makes me feel sexy and it doesn't mean I'd act on it... what can I say, I enjoy having my ego stroked just as much as anyone else, I love feeling sexy and attractive, and since I don't get as many looks as busty girls, well, I feel crappy =/

I'm also scared of the knife, so surgery is not an option for me

Redneon82 01-10-2010 05:49 PM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
At least you know your BF likes you for you! I have a couple of friends, sisters, who are a natural 36DD and 38E respectively. Guess what...they hate them! The 38E sister is considering reduction surgery down to a B. They get the stares all right, and it makes them feel like pieces of meat. It's not a stereotype, it's the truth. Guys come on to them and they know, KNOW, that it's not their pretty faces (they are pretty), their intellect (they are both college graduates and intelligent), or their sparkling personalities (they are fun and witty), it's the boobs! Guys like them for two globes of fat on their chests, not because they like them as people! It makes them feel awful, disrespected, they get treated like bimbos even though they are far from bimbo-ish.

So since your BF is with you, he obviously cares about YOU, not about globes of fat on a chest! Sure, he looks at the big-boobed women, but don't you ever look at an actor, musician or athlete and think he's good-looking? And how many of them look EXACTLY like your BF? That doesn't mean you love your BF any less or want him to look like Tom Brady or Brad Pitt or Rob Pattinson, you love him for him! I bet he feels the same way about you.

This insecurity of yours is just that...yours. You are a lovely, attractive girl and you should realize that. And globes of fat on your chest are NOT going to make you better!

secretsmiles 01-10-2010 05:59 PM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
I understand. But being on the other side of the fence hurts. Not being looked at, ever, when I'm out, sucks. My boyfriend looks at other gals, making them feel attractive, but who looks at me? It's not all about personality, sure it's like 95% about personality, but that thing about wanting to feel attractive in the eyes of others is human nature. Sure, I do think actors are attractive but I don't masturbate to them, whereas my boyfriend masturbates to busty women and even said he'd like it if I had bigger boobs. Plus some women with big boobs are uglier than me, face-wise, yet get more stares.

I like feeling attractive, and all of this doesn't. I have a great personality, awesome. But so do the attractive ones, like your friends and sisters. It's like they have it all, and of course they have just as many chances as me (or maybe even more... it took me years to have someone notice me) of finding a guy who likes them for them, and enjoys their bodies. They just have to filter the jerks. But having jerks fawn over them all the time doesn't mean they can't get nice guys too.

Redneon82 01-10-2010 06:11 PM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
I had to LOL. If you only knew what these 2 sisters went through in their dating lives...

I too have small breasts. And there I was, engaged at 20, married at 22, a mother at 24...while my two big-boobed friends dated one jerk loser after another, trying so hard to find love and only getting guys who wanted them to show off to their friends, or who used them so they could have sex with a big-boobed woman. Think that was fun for them? I still remember being in the hospital, ready to bring my newborn son home together with my husband, and seeing the look on my big-boobed friend's face...wistful, a little sad, a little envious. Would I have traded boobs with her? No way. I had what SHE wanted. And her big boobs couldn't get it for her.

And if your boyfriend was insensitive enough to say he'd like you better if you had big boobs...well maybe the problem is the boyfriend, not your body. I've NEVER had a guy I was in a relationship with say he wished mine were bigger...if he had, I'd have shown him the door and told him he was welcome to go look for his big-boobed dream woman. How would your guy feel if you told him you'd sure like him a lot better if he had a bigger thingy??? Jeez...

nobodyknows 01-10-2010 09:36 PM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
secretsmiles,
i'm a full 34dd, they're big! i just can't imagine them any bigger. i really do love them.
but a couple of things...
1st, the sex act you're referring to?
maybe you &/or your bf have seen that done in porn....but it's nothing really. it's awkward & cumbersome, really just a part of foreplay, something fun to do for a few minutes, tops. it's not an important part of a healthy sex life, not even close.
2nd, i think your bf gawking over busty celeb's is wearing on your self esteem. he's your bf, & he really should be focusing on making you feel good. making comments about hot big boobied celeb's is very rude.
i have a crazy sexy body but i would very likely dump a guy who kept making comments about other people's bodies, especially if they were totally different body types than mine.

digmusic 01-10-2010 11:13 PM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
It's probably a bigger deal in your head than it is in reality. I'm not invalidating your feelings and I feel similarly about my body (wish I was thinner, nose problems etc.) but everyone worries about their own body more than anyone else's. If you had to construct your "ideal man," he would probably have some features different than your boyfriend's, right? But do you sit around thinking of how your boyfriend's abs aren't as firm as your ideal man's? Probably not. Then again I doubt you look at porn as often as your boyfriend, but from what I've learned, they just use it to aid in masturbation which is almost a biological imperative for them, they don't sit around thinking about how great some random girls' boobs are. See what I mean? Just because you don't have the standard "ideal" body type for this culture, aka huge boobs and no body fat, which is almost impossible, doesn't mean that your boyfriend is disappointed with you. I'm sure you do get stared at more than you realize too, most women who aren't 85 or morbidly obese or something do... maybe big boobs stand out a bit more, but who cares if random guys you aren't interested in anyway aren't staring at your boobs?

beadle 01-11-2010 11:44 AM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
Boobs are way overrated. I think it is sad that women are getting plastic surgery just so they can get more attention from men. I'm not judging them, but that is the way we women have been raised. Your breasts will get bigger if you gain weight or when you have kids, especially if you breastfeed. Too big and they droop after a few years and kids! In about 10 years you probably won't care how big your breasts are anyway and neither will your BF, or husband. He probably doesn't really care now. (He's not perfect either, I'm sure.) When a big breasted woman walks by, people tend to look, it's not an everyday occurance, and there will always be better looking persons and not as good looking persons as yourself. Even the most beautiful women tend to have insecurities, so you are definately not alone. Just look around and you can know that the girl next to you probably feels inadequate in some way. Believe me, I have very beautiful daughters and they have friends, and they all think basically the same. The sad thing is, it's all starting younger and younger.

If you really want to look better, but don't want to go under the knife, Victoria's Secret has some great bras that will add cup sizes and make you look great. Their annual sale is going on right now, I believe. They will even fit you with the right size. Also, if you don't exercise already, start now. You'll feel better about your self and be healthier. Makeup can make anyone look fabulous. Of course you know this already. Good Luck!

Redneon82 01-11-2010 11:59 AM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
I personally don't care for those bras with the built in "falsies" unless you are recovering from a mastectomy. Those bras perpetuate the idea that if you don't have big boobs, you are inadequate and should wear fake ones! I consider this to be false advertising...it's like a guy wearing a sock in his pants! Eventually the bra will have to come off and then what?

Love your beautiful, slim body the way it is. You are probably young and will never look better...and I bet you look just fine. If your BF is too shallow to appreciate you, then maybe he needs to be given a wake-up call.

caberg 01-11-2010 12:49 PM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
I'm totally not into big boobs. My wife has smallish boobs that are just perfect. Consider what happens to those big boobs later in life, after kids and aging. Not a pretty site.

EDC_Light 01-11-2010 05:17 PM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
Not a "big boob" guy either. Where are you surveying? An "all douch dudes forum"?

Be happy with you.

nobodyknows 01-11-2010 07:03 PM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
i was kinda wondering about this informal online survey too...i just wouldn't place any stock in it. there are too many guys who would love to have a wonderful girlfriend regardless of her cup size.
i also really dislike padded bras, & they're advertising now a "2 cups bigger" bra which is nothing but a padded (as all get out) push up bra. i tried it on just for fun (i was with friends, we all did)...1st of all that bra has as much boob in it as i have on my chest, it's a crazy chunky fat bra. it also pinches and hurts & gives your boobs a very weird unflattering appearance.
there are so many girls and women with a & b cups that ARE beautiful, that is fact not opinion...if your bf can't see that maybe it's his too bad.

genova77 01-12-2010 04:13 PM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
I think the problem here is your boyfriend, not your breast size. Openly staring at other women's breasts is immature and disrespectful to you and the women he is staring at. If you stared at other men's pecs and crotches while you were out with your boyfriend I'm sure he would feel insecure and disrespected to.

There are men who like big boobs, and equally men who like small boobs. There are men who like an athletic body and men who like a softer, curvier body. Everyone has their own preference in what they find attractive in the opposite sex. To say that all guys love big boobs is completely false, as is saying all women love huge arms and big pecs. I suspect that the sources you consulted about men's preferences were guys mags like maxim or something similar. Well, those guys are pigs who wouldn't know how to treat a flesh and blood woman properly so they choose to masturbate over a picture of an airbrushed model. Don't value their opinions, they are not worth your time or energy!

In the end, once you get past the physical aspects of a person, what you have is their personality, intelligence, humour, consideration for others, and all the other qualities that make up that person. And if you truly love someone for who they are, you love how they look. You won't mind that your boyfriend has a un-toned tummy, or that your girlfriend has small breasts or big breasts that sag a bit. You'll think they are beautiful and love every but of them and they will be the most beautiful person in the world. This is how you will feel when you are truly in love with someone. If your boyfriend is blatantly doing things to make you feel insecure about yourself then he does not love you or respect you. He is immature and needs to learn a great deal about life and what loving a woman means. May I ask how old he is? He sounds very young.

I would firmly suggest that you break up with this guy and take some time to learn how to love and accept yourself and your body. I think you could benefit from some counseling to build up your self esteem. You need to learn that people who don't show you respect and consideration have no place in your life, be they friends or lovers.

secretsmiles 01-13-2010 02:16 PM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
Yes... I hope I can get over it and eventually find the rare small breast lover... no guy I've ever met has had a preference of small over big... they don't really mind small breasts, but most have told me they kind of do secretly wish their girlfriends had bigger ones :/

genova77 01-14-2010 08:53 AM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
[QUOTE=secretsmiles;4162435]Yes... I hope I can get over it and eventually find the rare small breast lover... no guy I've ever met has had a preference of small over big... they don't really mind small breasts, but most have told me they kind of do secretly wish their girlfriends had bigger ones :/[/QUOTE]

Where are you meeting these guys? Not all men are breast obsessed and superficial. You need to find a new way to meet men cause the ones you've been talking to are pigs! Small breast lovers aren't rare, for very big breast lover I'm sure there's a small breast lover. Don't let these guys fill your head with garbage!

BigRed54 01-14-2010 09:34 AM

Re: My boyfriend likes big breasts
 
One thing I thought you should know is that your bf would stare at other women's breasts whether you had size A's or size DD's. Until he (if ever) develops a more mature attitude and realizes it is impolite and demeaning to do that, he will continue. It is not a reflection on your breast size or anyone elses - it's him. My ex-H was like that, and that is one reason he's an ex. No matter how much I talked about it, now matter HOW I talked about it, he could never understand that it was simply rude. I can't be with someone who can't devote their attention to me when they are with me; it's a personal thing. (I'm not talking about the odd glance or noticing someone, I'm talking about the obvious watching.)

You need to realize that you are beautiful exactly the way you are, develop some confidence (it takes time) and find a man who is compatible with you on emotional levels. You can find someone attractive or even believe you love someone, but that does not make them right for you. If you feel inferior or put down or unattractive then you are not in the right relationship.


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